No lovemaking. I want to be fucked out of love. To scream I hate him. 

        I want that dick to not just move barely over me. I want to feel him inside me. I want every millimeter that can fit inside me. I don't want to be starved.

        ( I forced my back against the couch trying to run, but she just came closer. Breathing those forbidden words)

        I want to make my man cry. I want to hear his voice, not fuck a mute. 

        Then, I want to come, not just a normal one.

        I want to see rainbows, clouds and my body to be all-electric. I want to feel the electricity move from the tip of my hair to the very toenails. 

        I want to jump, roll, run, but be bound by his body.

        Yeah, I want to be fucked.

        You just ain't what I need, I need a man, not a boy. No making love. 

        I want it to remain with me to the grave. I want to think of that night every time I am making love to my husband. To make a bad memory, one that will shame the devil himself. 

        You're not, Him. 

        But, (she looked into my lustful but terrified eyes with optimism in hers) that's not a No. 

        So go, prepare. 

        Do whatever you want, make love, fuck, do whatever you think will help you get there. Don't force it, just be yourself until that version of you can meet my demands. 

        Once you feel like you are ready, only when you are a hundred percent sure you can match it. Come and find me".

        She put her soft warm lips on mine. Gave a devil's kiss that steered a hurricane in me, she tasted divine. My lips trembling, wanting more. Another touch and I would come. 

        She took her mug and went back to her seat and went on sipping as if she had done nothing. Played Future's WAIT 4 U and turned to me with a ghostly smirk, "Do you want me to heat your coffee?"

        Shook my head 

        I swallowed it like water, dropped the cup on the table, felt the pain in my pants, and tried to make a brave face. 

        With a racing heart, flushed face, wide lustful eyes, and sweating body_ I had to go. I flashed my eyes on her. "Staying?" 

        "No! (Came out aggressive)No", I said, "I mean I'm going"

        She glared at me. I was afraid of her, she made me the way I was. 

        "Fine", She said, stepping out of the sitting room and heading to the kitchen with the cups. 

        Returning to the sitting area, she found me by the door ready to sprint out…

        I hardly glared at her. "Get home safe", she said as if she was talking to a child. It was offensive.

        I nodded and opened the door. 

        You are my purpose. From today I am going to eat, sleep, talk, walk, pee, and dream of you, and someday I'll make you regret calling me a boy. How dare she call me incapable?