After an almost sleepless night, caused by the weird interaction on the street. I woke up in a cold room. The alarm rang loudly and restlessly. I felt tired from overthinking, not even coming to the conclusion helped me sleep. I am not sure when I exactly fell asleep, but for sure it was later than planned, I slowly rose up, looking at the clock, five past five, heading in the kitchen to warm up the food I bought yesterday and water for my tea, while I went to the bathroom to look at myself. To say I did not look my best would be an understatement, washing my face from the cold sweat, and softly added some makeup to seem like I was alive. Taking the clothes I had prepared yesterday, then going back to the kitchen where I ate a bit faster than usual. I was out of the house at 5:20 am, meaning I would not be late, the darkness made me careful of my surroundings, I was still on the edge from the previous night. Could you blame me?

 Could you blame me? Was everything my fault?

Honestly, I enjoyed the color of the sky, the dark blue slowly melting with light blue and distant hints of orange. The cold wind washed my skin with the salty air, the unsteady sea made me calm down. Walking calmed me down, especially since I was all alone on the road. Once I was near my destination, a silver Corvette passed by, it scared me, they were definitely going over the speed limit. And I could guess who was driving. After all, I saw who was the owner of said car, I knew who was seated next to him without even looking. I felt left out, but at the same time I did not why I felt like that, I did not ask for such a favor nor did he offer such a favor.

It turned out that I was somehow the last one to arrive, even though I was good ten minutes early. Koji-san and Inoe-san arrived a minute before I did. I greeted them, hoping that I hid my lack of energy:“ Good morning.“ They replied likewise, and Koji looked at me for a second before asking: „ You ready for modeling? You are the last one to come.“ I hummed, it seemed he was going to follow his promises, but I had to ask:“ Sure but who is the second person?“  Kita-san and Yoshizawa-san teased:“ Right who is the other person.“ „You two arrived at the same time.“ I looked at Koji-san and Inoe-san, I was hoping I would get to choose, I was obviously closer to one of the two and it would be easier for me to get relaxed. But my wish did not come true. Did it ever? Not once in my life.

As Inoe spoke: “ I think it is right if I am the other model. After all, I would be the last one to come if Miyasaki did not pick me up. And besides it is more natural if the models are opposite genders, as well Miyasaki-kun is the leader of the group, he has to check everything up.“ Everyone agreed, honestly her arguments made sense, was she a logical person? I did not have such a feeling from her yesterday. But I guess I was wrong. We started setting up the lights. We would do that a lot today, so it was important to communicate well.

Everything was ready just as the sun was about to peak from the mountains to the east. Both I and Inoe-san were seated on a cold rock sticking out of the sea. Our feet were bare and wet from the troubles we had to go through.  Last confession or regret. I tried to imagine how that would feel, but could not imagine it with Inoe-san next to me, even if she seemed like a better person today. What did that even mean? What would someone do if he knew it was do or regret? I smiled, I never loved, so I would not know. Looking at Inoe-san, maybe somehow I would figure it out. I heard Koji-san say: „Yuki-kun a bit more hope in your expression, right now it looks like you have confessed and were rejected. So a bit more hope in your eyes. Miya-chan, um do something else. Be either unaware of his stare or just slightly acknowledge it. You are looking at him with distaste.“ I could hear whispers from the trio: “Was it a good idea to leave it two of them, Miya-chan does not like him at all.“ “ It certainly seems so.“ Koji was the only one to deny: „ Not really, she just has a hard time warming up to people. For the longest part, you two did not know if she hated you, right?“ „I guess so.“

I tried to follow his bits of advice, but looking at her made me unable to hope for anything. Maybe if I tried something else, like imagining someone instead of her. Yeah, that would work, anyone but her. A person popped into my head, her face overlined Inoe-sans, I wanted to turn my life to the past, maybe with the knowledge I have no I would be able to find her and confess, right now if I reached that person I would not confess, cause I am over it. But I had to imagine myself from a few years back, and her face overlapping. That was it. A gasp. a yell:“ Yuki-kun, that is perfect. Miya-chan, a bit more relaxed.“   All I heard after that were the sounds of four cameras clicking. They were even using my camera as well.

We shifted a bit after 10 minutes: „ It would be great if you guys relaxed a bit more and talked. The pictures are good, but since we are here we might as well get variarty and choose the perfect one.“ And I hated whoever had this idea, cause there was no way I could imagine that person while talking with Inoe-san. What could I even talk about with her? She seemed dissatisfied with the idea just as much, but I guess it would be weird if we were taking pictures for 11 hours and not speaking a word to each other. She hummed before she asked: „ So what did you imagine.“ I was confused, how did she know: „What do you mean.“ She put on a fake smile, probably the same one she had earlier during the taking of the picture: „Your eyes were clearly not focused on me. As if you were seeing someone else. It was probably only visible from my position, so do not worry about photos.“ She read my changing expressions perfectly. I was honest: „ I imagined someone important and unreachable, no matter how I wish for them. I have long given up on them though. So in a way, I was remembering the past, and the future I wished to have.“ She seemed chill, not bothered with what I said at all: „ Do you want to tell me some details.“ I smiled, trying to hide the pain of thinking about that person:“ No, not really, I do not want to talk or think about it.“ She hummed, showing me some kindness: „ If you are uncomfortable, you do not have to think about it, think about something else, or even make up a scenario with such feelings.“ „ Thank you.“ A genuine smile came from me and she returned it. It felt weird, smiling at each other. Seeing the same smile is almost like looking at myself in the mirror, with a wig a few shades of brown away, the wind blew hard at the moment, the sea splashed us, it was too loud to hear comments from the boys, and I was having a hard time looking from her mole above her left ear. Whatever this was, it would be too awkward to comment. Luckily we were not too wet. We were silent for a few moments and looked away from each other, I noticed Koji waving his hands to get our attention.  He yelled loudly: „ We got amazing pictures thanks to the weather. Are you guys alright?“ Inoe-san answered: „ A bit wet but fine, let's continue.“ She got a thumbs up back. The trio adjusted the lights. And  I looked at the sky, the orange was battling purple, leaning on my forearms, she followed my gaze and asked:“ Do you like colors?“ It was a bit awkward question, but I responded nonetheless, feeling more relaxed: “ I like warm colors, though my place is mostly grey.“ She hummed:“ I do not really like colors, it complicates things, I wish the world was black and white, that everyone was aware of my intentions.“ I hummed:“ You like someone and do not know how to show or tell them.“ „ You noticed.“ „ It is pretty obvious. Though Koji-san does not seem aware of it.“ „ How about you, do you like anyone?“ „ I do not think I do?“ „ Really, I thought you liked Miyasaki-kun as well.“ „What, why.“ „ it just seemed like that to me, the way you were looking at him.“ I stopped to think, could I deny it, well I was confused: „I am not sure if you are correct about that one.“ „ Maybe I am, maybe it is just a crush you did not even realize you had.“ „ I think it would be awkward if I crushed on someone after knowing them for literally 3 days.“ „ Why, I fell for him in the same span of days.“ We swiftly changed the topics of our conversation upon hearing new directions from the boys. We were annoyed at how precise they were, while we had to fight cold and wet rock, getting comfortable only to get new directions.

Somehow the two of us survived to the first break around 7 am when a few clouds hid the sun, and it seemed it would take a few moments for them to clear, in the meantime tide had risen up, meaning waves had hit us more often. Luckily Kita-kun seemed to have thought of this as a problem as he bought out two blankets. We quickly took them, it was winter after all. And the other two offered their shirts. I let her take Koji-sans, and we changed while the others were looking at pictures and even considering going to the store and buying some food. Although only Kita-san could go as the others had barely any clothes on them, the jackets would not save them from cold, when they did not have anything under them. Kita-san said he would buy some clothes as well. Maybe we were not as prepared as I thought.