It took us some time to get warm under the blankets and borrowed clothes, the lack of sun and the breeze, froze our breaths. The wind was playing around with our hair. Somehow this atmosphere felt extremely peaceful. We were all quiet, absorbing our surroundings and energy. Recovering from a lack of sleep.  Waiting for Kita-san to return.

Once he returned with his hands full with bags. Everyone gathered around to help unpack the stuff he bought. I and Inoe-san checked out the clothes together and went to change again, returning the borrowed clothes, before gathering the small pieces of wood we would use to start a small campfire. It was half past eight by the time we started the photoshoot again, in the meantime, we ate and listened to new directions from the project leader Koji-kun, we would have started it earlier but the sun was hidden behind the clouds for longer than we predicted.

Getting back to the rock was rather difficult now, as the tide rose, and we could not get completely soaked before even taking a picture. So we slowly held each other by arms, as the boys, stayed on one side, and I reached with my leg to the rock, using the others as balance support, then giving a helping hand to Inoe-san.

It was windy and all I could smell was salt... well and the pizza we just ate, it was honestly too early for pizza, but barely anything was open at this time on Saturday morning. So I understood, we all understood. The sun was finally showing us some mercy as it shined on us, our jackets far away to protect us from the wind. I got ready for a set of photos where I was supposed to look like I am watching a distant future, hopeful expression, and desperate expressions changed according to the will of the cameraman's instruction. Hopeful, desperate, resentful, hurt, disappointment. Flashed on both of our faces, sometimes in sync, sometimes completely opposite. The mood samplers as they called it. Honestly, the longer they took with them the more awkward I felt, it was too quiet for too long. We were not allowed to talk, so we had to focus on one thing, which made us overly sensitive to everything and awkward. Luckily after taking the mood samplers the next direction was to have a serious-looking conversation.

Was that really better, we barely knew each other, how were we supposed to have a serious conversation? We were looking at each other's faces so much, that making eye contact was both normal and awkward, she smiled as if she understood what was troubling me. She spoke:“ Want to know me a bit better?“ „ That would make it easier for our photo shoot, right?“ She hummed:“ So you don't want it, but find it easier if you knew. Honestly, I feel comfortable with that as well. I know my first impression was bad, I do that too often.“ I looked at her with understanding, my face shined in the light:“ It is alright, you were just scarred you would lose whatever you have. Honestly, I would feel the same, if I had something to lose.“ I should have been scared.

A small smile crossed our faces as we looked at the thumbs up from the boys. We continued to look at each other eyes. Inoe-san then asked:“ Do you have a good relationship with your family?“ I simply answered:“ No, I don't have a good relationship with anyone who is blood-related to me.“ „Oh, really, do you have a sibling?.“ „No.“ „Then by blood related you mean your parents.“ „ Yeah.“ „That blood-related thing, means you don't even consider them your parents. I feel you, but at the same time I do not, I do not have any relationship with my father, but I still love my mother. Are you uncomfortable talking about them, cause I am uncomfortable talking about my father? After all, all I end up doing when talking about him is badmouthing him.“ „Honestly, I don't know if I am even able to talk about them.  I wish I could love my mother, but she was one who gave up on loving me first. She never once was a mother to me.“ I felt icy talking about this, but the pain in her eyes, made me wonder if she knew. She spoke:„ My mom was my only parent, she raised me well all by herself, well she had support from our reach relatives, but my father was never in the picture. I was always curious about him until I pestered her enough, and she thought I was old enough that I would understand. She told me how they met at college, and were fooling around, how they really liked each other, how they behaved without thinking about consequences. That is how I was conceived. The moment my father had enough fun with my mother he went to play with someone else. They were not dating they were just a fling, and that was what he told my mother. She was fine with that until she found out she was pregnant with me. The moment she told him was the moment he disappeared from our lives. Well for 6 years, he returned from his trip around the world, or so he had told my mother. He was never really in our lives but I had occasionally seen him. He definitely knew who I was but he could not be my father. My mother told me what she heard, apparently, he had continued the same lifestyle for years, and is even living the same now. So my father is a playboy. I am well aware that somewhere I could have a sibling.“ I listened, seeking the emotions she tried to hide:“ You secretly wish to find a sibling, so you don't feel unworthy of his affection.“ She sucked on air and did not say anything, as I spoke:“ Sorry, that was a mean comment, a low blow. I was just saying how I would feel in your situation.“ She smiled softly:“ I am glad that you would feel like that, 'cause what you said was true. I wish I could share my pain with someone who could understand. How about you, what would you do if you knew you had a sibling somewhere out there?“ „ I would wish they were happier than I am. But I would not seek them out, I know that would only cause trouble for them.“ Her face darkened for a second before repositioning herself. She then asked: “What if your sibling found you.“ „I don't know, I would try to reach their expectations.“ She turned towards me:“ Why don't you wish you could love your father?“  I stood there silent, surprised at the question, she was rather perceptive:„ I can't love him, because he made my mother choose, while he could have taken responsibility. My mother simply did not choose me, I wish she had, but it is too late now. “ „ You seem to try to understand her, but you do not try to understand him. What kind of choice did he force her to take?“ I looked at the sky, reaching with my left hand:„ Her dream or raising me.“ I smiled, the broken look taking her by surprise, maybe she could see a hurt child without the walls. I slowly spoke:“ Though he made a choice to never see me, that was easier on me than my mother's late decision ...“I should not say anything more it would ruin the surprise.  Before she could ask what that meant, I was up on my feet. :“ I need a pee break.“ The others nodded while she just stared at me.

I needed some time to calm myself, to gather myself. This was just a lie, yeah just a lie, there was no truth in my words. I froze, looking at my phone, and then ahead of me, there was a person standing at the end of the road. It wouldn't bothered me if it wasn't a person wearing similar clothes to the person from yesterday. They were definitely looking at me. While I pretended to take a picture of nature with my phone. Let's just ignore them. I took sunscreen from the shopping bag and put it on myself, the sun was getting higher in the sky meaning it was getting more dangerous. I walked back to the rock and gave some to Inoe-san as she thanked me. We once again fell into silence as Koji-kun was taking another set of mood samples. I was thankful cause this meant we would not have to go back to our previous conversation. In the distance I could see that man on his phone, as the minutes passed it was more and more obvious he was watching us, and I felt more and more uncomfortable. We continued until noon. When it was time for a second meal. I spoke to Koji-kun about the weird man, and he went to speak with him while we waited for our order to arrive, looking at them from afar, wanting to hide in the blanket, even if it wasn't that cold.