Yesterday felt like a daydream, honestly, I felt like Inoe-san could possibly understand me best, I never talked so much with anyone. I have kept thinking of many things, or well dreaming of stuff... losing what I currently don't even have, a friendship, a close relationship. Then there were those dark thoughts that there was someone out there to hurt me, even if I could guess who sent them, though I keep on denying that possibility. Waking at 8 am. in a cold sweat, feeling rested and not. Feeling tired, a few coughs escaped my lungs, I would probably survive today, but the cold was looming over me. Going into the bathroom, and looking at the mirror. God, my eyes were swollen, and I looked tired, I checked my phone one more time, seeing no new notifications since yesterday, I guessed Masaru-kun would come around noon when the light was best here.  I took off the sweaty clothes, threw them in the washing machine, as I slowly entered the shower, letting the warm water run its course on my body, getting tired of standing under the water I sat down on the floor, taking the shower head with me, I wished I could lay down in the warm water, I wish I could drown myself in the warmth.

The shower woke me up, the shower gave me life, even though my mind... my red skin, warm, marked as if I burned myself, slowly calmed itself down, as I dressed myself in a black hoodie and black pants, quickly drying me hair. Leaving the still dark room, I have to buy some groceries, I would have guests over for the first time in forever. It was around 9 am so I had plenty of time. Still, the feeling of uneasiest followed, from the moment I saw that car parked nearby. I was definitely followed. I am too scared to do anything about it.

There weren't any incidents outside, I still had a hard time, relaxing only when I entered the house. Quickly putting stuff in the fridge.  The next thing to do was to clean. It was not that messy but the dust could be visible since I did not clean it for a few days. I quickly tidied up my room, put some instant food to cook, and planned on eating and cleaning before he came over.

I felt tired by the time we were supposed to meet. Definitely a sign of my deteriorating health. I almost did not recognize the sound of my own bell, it had been far too long since I heard it last time when a social worker visited to check on me. The grandma was still here then, she was currently in her second home after making sure I could take care of things by myself. Anyway, the bell was ringing and I quickly jumped on my feet. Rushing to open the doors and greet him.

There he stood, tall, towering over me, but not as tall as Koji-kun, his honey colored hair in a small ponytail. He seemed a bit nervous, with a bag in his hand, a shiny watch on his wrist, his forearms exposed, sleeves of his shirt tucked in just around the elbow. The purple color of aged wines and black buttons, of which only the first one was open and showed the soft skin and a golden chain, he looked bigger like this, I looked at his hand, which was moving towards me to give me the bag, as I spoke:“ Welcome, Masaru-kun, You didn't need to buy anything.“ He responded:“ I would feel bad if I came over without bringing anything.“ There I was staring at it, noting down the black pants, and large purple shoes. I felt like I dressed up too casually, with my white shirt on buttons and brown pants. I gestured for him to come in:“ Like I promised we are all alone, by the way, where did you park?“ He looked guilty:“ Ah, in front of the house. I can repark if you need it.“ „No, that is totally fine, can I see the car?“ I was not that curious about the car, more about the person who was following me, yep, they were keeping tabs on me, as they were on a phone. I commented to Masaru-kun:“ Nice Porsche, like the color too, purple really fits you.“ He seemed to be rather pleased by that comment. I showed him in the house, and he was not that impressed or did not want to be rude and comment. I showed him my room, it was the only room with decent light, which was rather important for photographs. He smiled:“ Oh, this is it, definitely a good place to take pictures, and it fits what I had in mind.“ He was smirking while looking at my stuff, or well my bed. I asked, maybe a bit awkward:“ Do you need anything, some snacks or drink?“ He hummed:“ No, I am alright on that aspect, but could I use your bathroom?“ „Of course, it is this way.“ He was right behind me as I showed him the way. He softly commented:“ You do not have much stuff here, is there any security measures?“ I was rather confused as to why he asked about that, but he was rich he probably had many measures of security in his house, I answered:“ Nope, there is like you said nothing to get from here even if you broke in.“ He remembered something:“ Right, I bought a drink for you. Could you bring a glass to us?“ he then entered the bathroom as I went to grab the glasses, the most fancies I could find, it took me a while to grab them as I needed to get on my tippy toes. I could hear the water running in the bathroom, as it was right next to the kitchen.

We came back together, as he pulled the drink from his black backpack, he carried his camera in. It was a red drink, he poured it in carefully, while he pulled another one out for himself, a blue one. He said:“ I thought you would like the red one, but if you want you can try this one as well.“ He must have thought I was curious about it, cause I was watching his hands, well I was, but his watch was catching my attention. I saw it on another person recently, I couldn't really pinpoint it. He was gently watching me, it felt weird, he usually did not seem gentle like this. I took the glass he was holding on for me. Slowly sipping it. It tasted like strawberry champagne, who am I kidding, it tasted like strawberries, and I had noticed the name of the bottle. Well, there was a taste of bit alcohol. I did not know the champagne was this strong as I immediately felt tipsy. It was a taste of sweet felony, my eyes closed as I tried to figure it out. Masaru-kun softly spoke:“ Is it tasty? You are savoring the taste.“ When I opened my eyes he was closer, his camera taking photos, it surprised me, I was not ready for it. I asked:“ Are you the type of person who takes spontaneous pictures? I did not have that impression.“ He smiled as he nudged my hand to my lips, prompting me to take another sip:“ No, I just took it because you looked innocent. Rather beautiful, I just wanted to trap you in a small room and an infinite amount of time.“ I snickered: „Do you believe in those old sayings that cameras trap your soul? What else will I find about you?“ His smile flashed me, the white teeth and small dimples created by the movement of the muscles. Masaru-kun spoke again:“ Drink it all, it will keep you in a good mood.“ I hummed:“ What about you? Why aren't you drinking it?“ „I will have it later, it is important that you drink it first, your lips can't be dry, you are the model.“ He closed the distance in between us, sitting me down on the bed and gently pushing the hand in which I held glass to my mouth, he was now right in front of me, and the only thing between me and him was the camera. He was focused on taking a picture from above, drinking the drink, my eyes were looking at his, something felt weird. The blue eyes seemed rather beautiful. I did not even realize I gulped the drink down until his hand was put on my face as he spoke:“ smile.“ The smile that came out, was a shy one, and I melted to the touch, I ended up leaning into it, and he commented in a husky voice:“ Good, that is right.“  My senses were screaming at me, my body was reacting, and my skin got goosebumps. He took away the glass from my hand, the lack of heat on my face, made me lose the will to sit, so I fell back on the bed, somehow my world seemed calmer here, until he returned, kneeling on my bed, careful not to squish me, his knees on each side of my hips. He stood there tall, the camera in hand. Somehow smile just appeared on my face, as he would occasionally touch my hair to fix it, or my white shirt, reposition my arm. The soft touches increased with time. It was probably hard for him to kneel for so long, and he had taken a photo from every possible angle from there. That was the only explanation my hazy mind came up with as he lay on top of me, his head on my chest, his body on mine, and all of my body was overheating.

I was catching myself closing my eyes as if I was sleepy, It had been a long time since I registered his voice, since I heard any noise, opening my eyes, finding he was still there and not mad at me at all. Smiling as slipped on the blue drink, still on top of me, the camera lying next to me, mine was there as well, my eyes followed his mouth, as he thirstily chugged, his moving Adam's apple, the golden chain, the white skin, and his hand slowly unbuttoning the purple shirt, showing off the smooth skin, covering well build muscles, he stopped as he leaned closer with a cheeky smirk, whispering in my ear with his husky voice, it took me a moment to gather what he said:“ Do not worry, I know all your needs, you feel hot right?“ His hands were on my chest, a button after button came undone. I was feeling a burning sensation whenever either his soft fingertips or my own clothes touched my skin. Sucking on air was the only response I could muster. My body was too heavy to move.

All I could do was watch him, take photo after photo. Was I under my cold? His fingers traced my neck, while he was taking photos. The removal of my shirt did not help with how hot I felt. Honestly, he had an easy time removing it, lifting my torso by himself, for a moment I was buried in his flexed chest muscles, I was trying to say something, probably thanks, but all I did was leave some of my salvia on his chest, he quickly put me down, and whispered something along: “I ain't against it, but we will take it slow.“ His hands slowly explored my chest, the camera focus switched from the marks on my body to my face, he pulled a memory tape out and replaced it when he had taken enough photos of my red body from light touches. Throwing it next to my camera, he used his free hands to get rid of his own shirt.  Throwing it to the ground, taking my hand, and putting it on his hard muscles. Tracing with it, from his pectorals across the ribcage to well formed abs, purposely spreading my salvia with it. He hummed into my ear:“ You spent yesterday with Miyasaki, right? I assure you we will have a better time.“  

Chills and goosebumps ran across my whole body, something was wrong, my brain was thinking too slowly, was this dangerous, what could I do... When I can't even move my hand.  He was twisting my nipples, sounds I can't name were escaping my mouth and he was enjoying it, taking photos. Positioning me however he wanted, My expressions were none of his concerns.

Soft, tongue, wet, entered my mouth ... leaving me breathless, his hands on my neck, as he slowly rubbed his face across mine, the kisses continued, followed by whispers I could not decipher, chills still rushed through my skin, he would twist my nipple, every time I would close my mouth, making me gasp, his lips pressing against my and kissing me.