I slept alone.

For the first time in two and a half months, I slept alone. Back in August, I was waiting for this day. The day that I could finally sleep by myself. I had slept by myself for twenty-three years, and I thought sleeping alone now would be just as comfortable. But it wasn't. Fifty days later and the thought of sleeping alone all just seemed like a nightmare. And now that it had come true.

Never did I miss waking up in the middle of the night to Dream's back right up against mine because he did not know anything about personal space. Or how I could feel him pulling at the blankets. And how on some mornings, I'd feel him pull the blanket back up over me before getting up and leaving the room.

Now it was empty because he never came back. I woke up to the sun creeping over the neighboring houses and the bed empty. Not even Patches laid by my legs. The silence was eerie. Not even the fan spun above me. When I turned to my left, all I saw was the break of Dawn seeping through the open blinds of the window. I was alone.

The house was as quiet as ever. My breathing basically echoed off the sleepy walls. Everything was still asleep. It was barely seven in the morning.

I tried not to think about where Dream was. He said he was going to the park, and I was going to trust his word that he was there. I wasn't going to think about how highly distressed he was last night, and how he already had the tendency to speed when no one was around. He wouldn't just die on me, would he? No, that would be too cliché.

Nevertheless, I still had to shake the thoughts from my head. He wouldn't do that. Not when I asked him not to. But how much power did my words actually have over him?

No. He was a grown man. He could handle himself. There was no point in worrying when what was done was done. Anything that happened happened. With the best of my mental strength, I pried any thought of Dream out of my head because, frankly, I didn't want to think about it at all.

Still, the fight manifested itself in my mind like a leech. It sucked every other thought in my brain so that I was pretty much forced to think about it. No amount of distractions could take my mind off of it. I still couldn't quite process what happened. It all escalated so fast that I had no time to truly prepare. I didn't even have time to think before I was pressed with yet another burning questionAbout another hour had passed when I heard the front door crack open. I had been scrolling through my phone in the living room, and I nearly dropped my phone at the sound of the door opening and the sight of Dream putting his cat down on the wooden floor.

"Dream!" I said a bit too eagerly, jumping up to my feet, "Where have you been?"

"The park, like I said." He shut the door and ran a hand through his hair.

"All night?"

"Yeah. Relax, I've done it before. Patches and I slept in the back seat of my car."

"Why didn't you just come home?"

He sighed, "I didn't want to. Now are we getting married or not?" His eyes looked tired. The usual glow his eyes usually emitted had dimmed and the corners weren't wrinkled because of his usual smile. I tilted my head to the side.

.”Look, I don't know if it's a good idea—"

"What?" He interrupted, rubbing his eye.

"I don't think it's a good idea right now."

"And why not?" He crossed his arms.

"Because you're mad at me!"

He rolled his eyes and brushed past me and into the kitchen. "Fine, then we won't."

"Okay then." I followed him as he went straight for the cereal.

"But will you ever marry me?" He sharply turned to me like he was a lion and I was his prey.

I was taken aback and said, "Yes. Just not right now."

He poured his cereal into a bowl and said, "Look, I'll stop being mad at you if you apologize. Then can we get married tomorrow?"

"Why are you in such a rush to get married? We still have over a month." I said, following him with my eyes as he pulled a carton of milk out of the fridge.

"Because I thought about it last night, George. The only reason we didn't get married sooner was because I liked you, and I wanted to see if you felt the same way. And now that I see where you stand, and I see where I stand, I just want to get you your green card so we can move on. Act like none of this ever happened."

"I didn't mean it like that last night, Dre—"

He shook his head quickly, "I don't want to hear it. I'm just a simp, you said so yesterday."

"I was joking."

"Every joke has it's truth, George," He snapped, swirling his cereal around.

I huffed. Was there even a point in arguing?

"Fine. If we're just getting married to get my green card, then there really is no reason to wait, I guess."

"Exactly," He said, taking his bowl of cereal and leaving the room.

***
I didn't know how to tell Dream that I didn't hear a word he said about tying a tie. Usually he'd find it funny, but I didn't know about now. He would probably twist it to be yet another sign that I didn't love him. So I waited until he left the bedroom to pull up a Youtube video.

By the time I came down, Sapnap and Bad had already arrived, and they definitely went through more effort than Dream and I did. Dream didn't even take a shower. He had the white shirt he slept in on under his suit coat, and his tie was lopsided. He didn't even comb the small grass particles out of his hair, and when I came down, Bad was plucking them out.

"Dream, you have to look presentable. It's your wedding day!" He scolded.

"You're right, I'm sorry," Dream mumbled, not looking up from his phone.

"Hey, George! Lookin' snazzy," Sapnap grinned.

Bad looked over at me and his face glowed, "This is so exciting! It's your wedding day!"

Dream still didn't look up. Not even a glance.

"Yeah. Can we go?"

Sapnap raised an eyebrow and looked back and forth and me and Dream.

"When's the appointment?" Asked Bad.

"Three," Replied Dream. "We can leave now."

"Alright! So me and Sapnap will meet you there."
"Wait, I want Sapnap," Dream said, grabbing Sapnap by the arm and pulling him to his side. "You take George."

"Why?" Bad asked, cocking his head to the side. "Is everything okay?"
“Yeah, I just miss him."

Sapnap grinned from ear to ear, "I miss you, too! You don't want George with us?"

Dream shook his head, "No. I don't want him to third wheel."

"Oooh you hear that, Georgie?" Sapnap teased, turning to me. "He doesn't want you to be the third wheel. Yeah, now you know how it feels. Marinate in it."

"Alright, George you're with me," Bad said with a warmer smile than Sapnap. "Let's go."

We went our separate ways. Dream didn't even look at me nor did he say goodbye. When he went to say goodbye to Bad, he looked right over me.

"Hey, what's wrong with Dream?" Bad asked the moment we entered his car. "He's really quiet today."

I debated whether to tell him or not. On one hand, it was a very serious and personal argument that I wouldn't want out, but on the other, he was probably telling Sapnap about it right now.

"We had a fight a couple nights ago," I said. I kept my eyes out the window. If I was about to spill my guts out to this guy, I wasn't going to look him in the eye while doing it.
"Oh no! What about?"

"I don't really know. It was honestly crazy and it caught me off guard. He was telling me about the wedding and then he got mad at me and accused me of not wanting to marry him anymore."

"Do you not want to?" We followed Dream's car out the caldesac.

"No, I do. If I really didn't want to marry him, I would be on a plane back home right now."
"So why does he think you don't want to?"

"I guess I haven't been doing a good job at showing it."

"Oh, you're just a more closed-off person, George."

I glanced over at him. His eyes were on the road. "What?"

"Well you're just not as emotional as Dream is. I know you still want to marry him. It's all in the way you look at him."

"I—" I sputtered and sat up in the seat. "What do you mean the way I look at him?"

"You look at him in a very endearing way. It's honestly kind of cute. I know you care about him, but maybe he doesn't. Just tell him. He'll feel so much better."

"I don't... nevermind.
“No, listen, George. If Dream is asking if you still want to marry him, he clearly has a reason to believe you don't want to. Just tell him you do, okay?"
"I did!"

"The message clearly didn't go through."

I sighed, "I don't really want to talk about it, Bad."

He hesitated for a moment and even turned to look at me for a brief moment, "Alright. Hopefully you two work things out. What kind of music do you like?"

***

Dream looked more put together after the drive than he did before. He stood tall with Sapnap by his side. Sapnap had to have known what happened. He had a grave look on his face whenever he looked at me. It was as if I killed his brother despite him standing right next to him. Bad tried remaining positive. He was the only one with a bright smile on his face as he led me over to Dream's car to greet them.

"Alright! Ready to go in?" He asked.

Sapnap's eyes flickered over to Dream before nodding, "Yup, let's go."

This was far from the kind of wedding day I was expecting. I didn't think about my wedding day much before Dream offered to marry me. But I always thought of it as the happiest day of my life. One that would overwhelm me with complete and utter joy whenever I thought about it. That was how everybody else described their wedding days. My parents retell their wedding day story every year on their anniversary, and they always had bright beaming grins on their faces as they told it.
But today was nothing but solemn. It was more like going into a funeral rather than a wedding. Not even Bad and his sunshine heart could save the rain clouds hovering above our heads.

Dream was basically a parasite connected to Sapnap as we entered the courthouse. He clung to him like his life depended on it, and he didn't let go until he had to sit next to me in front of the officiant before us.

The room was small, and we were all cramped together. Me and Dream had to sit in leather seats right up against the polished wooden table. Sapnap and Bad were sat behind us in black plastic chairs.

This lady's desk was cluttered with knick-knacks and small items. She had all her pens and pencils in a mug with kittens playing with yarn painted on it. Her papers were all stacked neatly to the side with a stapler holding it down. Aside from that, she had small collectable figurines scattered throughout her desk and a glass cup full of marbles in the corner.

"So you two are getting married?" She asked us, sorting through a folder and pulling out a few sheets of paper.

I tore my eyes from her desk and up to her dark brown eyes. "Yes."

"We're eloping," Dream added.

"Okay. And who are your witnesses?"
“Our best friends Sapnap and Bad."

She nodded. "So you guys are under the K-1 Visa, correct?"

We both nodded.
"And you understand everything? Dream will still have to aid for George until he gets his citizenship, George will have to wait a few months before he can start working, all that good stuff?"

"Yup," Dream said, popping the p.

"Alright, do you guys have anything you'd like to say to each other? Vows or anything?"

I looked to Dream, and he looked back at me. It was a cold stare. One that I had never felt from him before, and it gave me frostbite.

"No." He turned back to the officiant and shook his head. "We'll just be signing the papers, thank you."

"Oh, alright then." She handed me our wedding license along with pens. Without hesitation, I signed my name. And just like that, we were married.

I handed the paper to Dream to see him chewing on the pen cap. He stared down at the paper before taking it, and that was pretty much it. He hadn't even uncapped his pen.

"Dream, sign it," Sapnap mumbled from behind him.

He didn't move.

"I'm going to need you to sign the paper to legalize your marriage, sir," The officiant said.

He spat the pen cap out before handing back the license. "No, I can't." He let out a long exhale before rising from his seat.

"What?" I asked, but he was already out the door. The three of us remaining looked at each other before turning back to the officiant. She gave us a warm, reassuring smile. Although I didn't feel much assurance. I'd take the warmth, though.

"Cold feet? It happens a lot, don't worry."

"I'm so sorry," I quickly apologized.

"Don't worry about it. You two can get married another day."

"Well, what if he comes back?" Bad asked.

"You'd have to get him back right now if you want to get married today."

"I'll go talk to him," Sapnap volunteered, rising from his seat and leaving the room.

"Can I come with him?" I asked.

"All of you can."

Bad and I shot out of our seats and chased after Sapnap. He seemed to know exactly where Dream was. He walked with authority and direction. And he brought us to Dream's car to which he was right. Dream was inside blasting music.

"Dream!" Sapnap shouted, knocking on his car window.

Dream turned down the music and rolled down the window. "What?"

"What happened in there?" I asked.

"You happened," He snapped.

I resisted the strong urge to roll my eyes and let out a rather long groan. "Oh, Dream, can we not talk about this in a courthouse parking lot?"

"Fine. Get in." He reached over and opened the passenger seat door. "We can talk about it in here."

I walked around the car and sat down beside him. He rolled up the window and turned off the music.

"Alright, tell me again what happened?" I said.