Boy, was it cold. I was chilled straight down to my bones. I felt them clatter.

"So, what would happen if I got eaten?"

There was a lot of thinking silence but all the creature ended up saying was, "Depends."

Ugh. I groaned. Of course this would be another teeth pulling session. However, demon took mercy on my frayed patience and elaborated, "If you desire specific information, be specific. To divulge even an abbreviated version would take longer than you've left in your lifespan."

Huffed, considering that. I guess I did essentially ask mommy about afterlife – just this time it was an ancient demon who actually had the answers. But clearly, I wasn't keen to know individual paths of each of my subatomic particles after they get scattered away from this meat suit... Or was that a subtle threat? Like I wouldn't live to see tomorrow. It was hard to say what went on in that hood of his... if that's where creature's brain was at all. And that's where all our differences stemmed from, I suppose. The alien thing must have struggled to comprehend humans too. I decided to put effort into being more thoughtful.

I tried to specify as requested but realised that I couldn't. It was more or less the same phrase in different words. "If an average monster... bit my face off? Presumably with the rest of the head and or body."

"There is no average," monster rumbled out.

Ugh.

Patience, patience. "What are my options?"

"Your face will be consumed by me," demon's reverberation had more life to it this time. Yes, yes. I was thrilled about this too.

"And if not?"

"Unlikely," the arrogant asshat flexed once again and I rolled my eyes. Sunnovabitch, it's why we're having this entire conversation. Or is he onto me and trying to annoy me into quitting? Oh no buddy, that's not how you win this competition!

"And if that does happen?" I insisted, secretly hoping the creature wasn't as childish as me, for he had far more patience. Several lifespans worth.

"That is a long list," I was informed.

Asking for top three was probably out of question. It was unlikely anybody done polls for monsters' daily gossip magazines. "Start listing," I narrowed my eyes, looking forward to my next pitfall.

"Some just need the minerals and would leave rest of your organic matter in a formless puddle. Others are after entire thing, which they'd use indiscriminately to grow. Certain types just absorb the muscle. Or sinew. Or nerve. Or just brain structure. There are kinds that just take over the body and other humans can't tell the difference. Leeches..."

Yes, we all know about those now, don't we? I glared and cut him off, "So when you eat me I'll become that sort of puppet?"

"No," monster informed me very informatively and I grit my teeth. Patience, patience. Did I really want to know details of that anyway? The bits that I was aware of already weren't promising.

Since being subtle wasn't really going to work here, I just flashed the monster my entire hand, "So, how do I tell apart the things which would decimate chances of my consciousness's continued existence in a nightmarish horror beyond my comprehension after the body's tragically untimely death?"

"You cannot."

I rolled my eyes and wanted to accuse the crafty creature of lying, but sighed and in my infinite forbearance looked back onto the facts. If the monsters changed on a whim, perhaps it was impossible to know.

"Can you tell?"

"Most of the time."

"Ohhh, you've been wrong before?" I took a stab at that infinite pride the devil seemed to be sporting.

"Naturally," he'd responded without missing a beat and providing me with no ammo. How dull.

I guess that leaves burning myself alive, then. In my deep musings I found myself looking at the ceaselessly burbling stream. Still couldn't feet my feet.

"How did you even find me? I even walked through the damn water."

"Was that supposed to mask you somehow?" monster thrummed in a rush as though amused. This grand getaway affair must have looked so pitiful to him that he wasn't even mad. Which stung more than caused despair at this time. "Water spread your smell all over the area. Your feet were cut up too."

Yeah, definitely stinging. Guess the next time I'll know!

Though I was starting to suspect I was in a pit too deep to climb out of. The arrogant monster certainly thought so – there was no other reason to give me all the answers otherwise. I couldn't even call him stingy with those anymore. I just needed to ask right.

"How come sometimes there's... this dread? Even if I can't see the monster. But... not always? And other times they're perfectly terrifying, but not... in that way."

Demon seemed to know what I meant to say, even if I didn't, "We do not belong here. You know it, even if you don't understand it. The grander the discrepancy, the worse your aversion gets."

If merely standing next to a shard of that mirror does this, what would stepping onto the other side do? There go my plans for inter-dimensional travelling! Well, I suppose not my plans, but some organisations still tried to cross over... and invade them back? I didn't know what the goal there was. I'm sure they haven't thought that far either, as is often the case. After all, we had our hands pretty full here in mortal plane.

Jokes aside, that was just one more reason in long line of justifications to stay far away from all this wriggling alien mess.

I narrowed my eyes at suspiciously two-legged and two-handed specimen to wonder, "Is that why you're human-shaped? To be all logical and cuddly? Just for us? You shouldn't have." I made fun of it and even splashed with bitterness, but even I knew there were far worse silhouettes I could be hounded by. If this was an overgrown rat with multiple mouths I probably wouldn't be just sitting here, chatting.

"Yes," the monster said and I huffed indignantly at his lack of embarrassment. Have some shame, dammit!

"Well, it's not working. I don't feel the cuddliness. Must be the horns," I shook my head, criticizing the choices of fashion again. Demon didn't care. I pushed on, "Does that mean you're terrified of us? Being entirely in an alien, incomprehensible world."

"No. Mouths bypass that," he rumbled pointedly and I was delighted to find out they had a less creepy function.

"Ohh. So, they acclimatise you?"

"In a way," the air reverberated quietly.

Some unpleasant emotion tickled me and angry irritation broke out, "So... But... Why is it only humans?" I've had little basis for that accusation, but seeing Priest was enough information for my indignant self. "Can't you possess a bear or something?" I suppose I was being hypocritical again, throwing poor animals under the bus rather than no-good assholes who most likely deserved it anyway. People were trash. But as trashy as I was, I still did not desire spending rest of my (his?) life reflecting upon the fact.

"It obviously isn't just your people. If you've assumed so, that's a fallacy on your end."

Low growl kept rolling off, "Original form means little to me. There's just so many of you," hungry child drooling at the buffet said. The tone was frankly disgusting.

So it was as simple as convenience. There had been billions of us. Truly a brimming factory farm, ripe for the reaping. But something wasn't adding up. This creature was old, that much was clear. It literally scoffed at my remaining years.