-What do you say, deal?- Said Vampire mommy.

The thugs smirked at me creepily, clapping and howling dirty jokes. 

As an answer, I grabbed a pan in my hands like a weapon. “The same one I was about to cook my burgers with” I thought painfully. The thugs weren’t impressed at all, they catcalled me even more. One of them asked if I wanted to be spanked with it. My courage melted like snow under the sun and I started hyperventilating. 

The bony hand of L pressed gently on my shoulder, trying to reassure me. -You’re causing distress to my patients.- She said. I had no idea that we suddenly became her patients. -I know that you probably all have unresolved trauma, but that’s not an excuse to be so…Rapey. Why don’t we do a little kindness meditation together and consider the idea that we are all worthy of compassion and respect?- “Kill me, just kill me already.” If I wasn’t so busy panicking I would have facepalmed once more. 

-You don’t understand your position, so let me enlighten you.- The drug dealer told us with a silky voice. - We’re The Tombs and and we are the wrong people to fuck with. You owe us money and we decide what we’ll take as payment. Give us the girl now or I‘m afraid my lads will lose their gentlemanly tempers.- The thugs cheered and handled their weapons more threateningly.

My hands, still holding the pan, started to shake. Weirdly enough, V and L were still completely calm. I suspected those two had issues to process the full extent of our current situation.

-We’re pacifist nowadays, ma’am- L said with a gentle but resolute voice. -But we need to set boundaries with you and that it will not be a pacifist process, I’m afraid.-

V was exasperated, like he was a lazy kid asked to do his homework. -Do we really have to do this, L? Maybe we could just jump out of the window and go home.- “What?! We are on the 5th floor!” 

-Unfortunately we cannot do that, V- Explained L, patiently. -We should be accountable for dragging Hana and her cute, adorable studio-apartment in this unpleasant situation.- I couldn’t believe she was referring to my apartment like a person and, most of all, that she found it cute and adorable.

The whip cracked again. -I don’t like to be ignored, you weirdos.- the drug dealer said, Annoyed. -What can you do? We’re a dozen, you're just three. Or does the granny hide secret weapons under her robes?- 

-You won’t hit me a third time.- warned V, touching the second lash on his cheek. He put hands in his pockets again and kept his chilled posture, just his perfect stillness made me notice that he was on alert. He had the friendliest smile ever, but his voice was deadly serious, so low that I barely heard it. -Ok, Lady Vamp, last warning. You, and your pathetic creeps, should gently, respectfully, kindly, fuck off.- I gulped and reconsidered the option of jumping out of the window. 

Then, it happened so quickly.

I thought the Vampire lady was about to crack the whip again, but, at that instant, V quickly grabbed the brain burgers on the table and tossed them in her face. 

-NOT MY BURGERS!- I cried, but it was too late.

-L, the Drinker!- V called, ignoring me. L pulled out a katana from under her robes and threw it at V, who drew the blade in the blink of an eye. “She really has a secret weapon under her robes.” I thought stupidly.

A gushing of black blood spilled on the ceiling and the walls. 

The drug dealer started screaming, watching in shock at the stump that was her hand just a moment ago. Unable to look away, I stared at her cut hand on the floor, still holding the whip, next to what remained of my brain burgers.

-I told you you won’t hit me a third time.- Said V. It had all the ingredients to be a badass moment, but there wasn’t a trace of triumph in his voice, just infinite sadness, like he was hating that moment to the core.