Dear Diary, today is another sunny day with Lehia. Let me do a quick update on the training so far: I'm not having too much trouble with her attacks now even though I've realised that she's holding back.

We were both in the middle of a confrontation but I was pensive, my mind wandering elsewhere. I was still thinking about the scene at the merchant's the day before. If it goes on like this, I won't even have enough money to live on... not enough money to eat! 

— “Hey Lehia. Why is life so hard in your kingdom?”

She parried my last blow and stopped.

— “What do you mean?”

I sheathed my sword and she did the same.

— “I've been saving money since I was kicked out of the castle. But the amount I have is still mediocre, I can't afford anything!”

— “How much do you have so far?” she asked me, a little curiously.

I used my fingers to help me count.

— “About a hundred bronze pieces, I'd say.”

— “Ah, haha... I see…”

Her laugh was nervous and unnatural. I felt like she was hiding something from me.

— “What about you? How much do you earn with your job in the Royal Guard?”

She hesitated for a moment before revealing her salary. 

— “Two gold coins every month.” she mumbled as she fiddled with her fingers.

She was doing her best to hide her mischievous little smile. I meticulously analysed the information I just received. If I had that amount of money, the purchase possibilities would be unlimited... Wait a minute, why am I so calm? We're talking about two gold coins here!

— “What? Seriously? T-t-t-t-two gold coins!?”

But what was I thinking, you could see from miles away that she reeked of wealth! With her shining armour and her long blonde hair, she looks like someone who's living comfortably without any problems in her life! I've never seen the colour of a gold coin... I immediately moved closer to nudge her arm.

— “Hey Lehia, don't you think we could share? You know, we're kind of friends after all and friends help each other out!”

— “I'm going to stop you right there.” she said, raising her hand to my face. “First of all, it's my salary! I've been training since I was old enough to carry a sword to get this job. Secondly, I've already given you an armour so don't take too much advantage of my kindness.”

I clicked my tongue against my teeth.

— “Tsk, stingy…”

— “Me? Stingy?”

She was about to draw her weapon but stopped half way. Her eyes darted over my shoulder and I could see her smile freeze as her face began to turn red. I turned to see the cause of her reaction but she prevented me from doing so by pushing me into the nearest bush. I fell flat on my face against the branches and leaves. I was ready to confront her once I was up but I stopped immediately.

Something in her expression distracted me: she was radiant, her eyes were shining and her smile was different. I discreetly followed her gaze and discovered the person who had just monopolised all her attention. It was a young man with an outfit matching hers. Lehia was waiting for him impatiently, her arms crossed behind her back and her leg swinging back and forth. 

— “Hi Lehia.”

— “Oh, hey Viktor! What are you doing over here?”

To hide her embarrassment, our young Lehia giggled at the end of every sentence. This was very unnatural and made me wince. He approached her, smiling.

— “I was wondering where you were. I haven't seen you around the castle for a while.”

He stopped a few metres away to contemplate her better. She averted her eyes from the man standing in front of her. Am I even allowed to watch this? I feel like I shouldn't be looking but I can't help it. Because I've never seen Lehia with such an expression.

— “M-me? Haha! Well I really enjoy getting some fresh air and training here, being cooped up in the castle isn't my favourite thing.”

Viktor put his hand on her shoulder which made her flinch.

— “Next time let me know, we could train together.”

They continued chatting, he amused her and she seemed smitten. Naturally, eye contacts were made. She wasn't the same, because she loved that man. My heart sank a little at the thought. I was just a common spectator who had taken on the role of the stranger. I thought I knew her better but I was wrong. 

Once they finished their little exchange, he left Lehia starry-eyed. She kept staring at him until he was out of her sight. At last, I poked my head out of the bush.

— “You love him?”

She gasped at my words, I think she must have forgotten I was hiding here. Her scarlet face was already giving me an answer.

— “W-w-w-what!? Haha!  Stop talking nonsense!” she shouted at me, stammering.

I huffed, no one could believe her, it was almost ridiculous. I stood up and continued to observe her. She was trying so hard to hide her joy but to no avail: her rosy cheeks gave her away.

— “Yet you seemed to-”

She hit me hard on the shoulder to shut me up.

— “Hahaha ha! You can be so funny sometimes!”

Without further ado, she placed her hand on the pommel of her sword and looked at me with a determined expression.

— “Shall we resume training?”

Despite her good mood, I couldn't help thinking about what I'd just seen. I instinctively turned my head towards where Viktor had gone.

— “I think it’ll do for today. You should go back to the castle.”

She frowned slightly. My answer left her sceptical.

— “Really?”

I nodded and smiled at her. It didn't convince her but she listened anyway and decided to leave.

— “Alright, see you tomorrow then!”

She put her hand on my shoulder and gave me a radiant smile before running towards Rosefield. I watched, amused, as she set off in the direction of Viktor. What an exhausting day. As I slid against my usual resting tree, I kept thinking about her. Was I really keeping her here? According to him, she spent most of her time here. I don't want to be a burden or even disturb her daily routine. I need to prove myself and show her that her work hasn't been in vain. I didn't want to be a heavyweight, I wanted to be someone she could count on. 

After that, I spent the rest of the day trying to summon magic but the result was still not glorious. Nothing I can produce can be used in a confrontation. What I do is still too weak. I need to improve, to become as strong as one of these knights so that I can prove myself to Lehia and to the king. I have a revenge to take.

*

This time it'll be the right one, I can do it! I had to show her what I could do. The sweat on my forehead dripping down my temple tasted bitter. Why? Why doesn't it work? My breath caught in my throat as I looked down at my trembling palms. I stared helplessly at the boar I was supposed to attack.

Nothing had changed, everything was exactly as usual. After all those weeks of training, I couldn't summon anything. It was impossible for me to reach this animal with magic.

Lehia watched me silently, still wearing that same friendly smile but I knew deep down that she was forcing herself. How can she continue behaving like that when all I ever do is fail? But soon, her mask will fall and be replaced by anxiety. She was as concerned as I was. Yet her teaching was not to be questioned, she had done nothing wrong. I was the problem.

I stretched out my arm again. Nothing, emptiness. I was at the end of my rope. My legs gave out and I collapsed to the ground. Everything was really going to end just like that, without being able to do something about it. I refused to believe it.

— “I'm going to make it…”

My fists clenched and tore the twigs of grass between my knuckles. I pounded against the ground in the hope that my frustration would subside. 

— “I want to prove them all wrong!”

I knocked again, this time tears accompanied my words.

— “Believe in me…”

Lehia approached slowly. She put her hand on my back and began to stroke it, trying to soothe me.

— “There's no point in forcing yourself.”

But I didn't want to listen.

— “I'm like any of you... I can do this…”

In a last effort, I got up and grabbed my weapon. My mind was flooded by all sorts of emotions. I couldn't unravel the veil obstructing my actions. Negative thoughts invaded my consciousness, memories I never wanted to see again. I don't want to go through all that again!

“You're useless, a disgrace to our family. I don't want to see you here anymore.”

It's not true… Everything you've told me is wrong! A red aura formed around my hand without me noticing. My blade was enveloped in a spectrum of the same colour. I held my sword firmly as I charged towards the animal, my speed increasing tenfold with every step I took. I was blinded by these painful memories, my father's cold words still echoing in my head as I charged. My blade cut it precisely and evenly, it was its belly that I’d hit. It collapsed to the ground, slowly bleeding to death. A reddish pool lined its body. My breathing was uneven, my gauntlets bloody and my blade was shaking. I looked back at her, who was completely stunned and dumbfounded by what just happened. She too found it hard to believe. Hesitating, she stepped forward and looked at the huge gash I had inflicted on the boar. Intense joy filled my mind. My big smile warmed my partner's heart.

— “I've done it! I've finally done it!”

— “You did it!”

She ran towards me at full speed and dived into my arms. The sudden extra weight threw me off balance and sent us falling. My head hit the ground but the pain was fleeting compared to the happiness I felt.

— “Are you all right?” I asked Lehia who was still standing above me.

Her big blue eyes were now just a few centimetres from mine.

— “I... I think I'm going to cry…”

Tears began to form around her eyes but she continued to smile. I laughed at her reaction, rested my head against the grass and looked up at the soothing blue sky. I was simply enjoying the moment.

— “We did it, we finally succeeded.”

— “I was so afraid you wouldn't make it. I thought my training was useless or that I was doing it the wrong way.”

— “Are you serious? Your training useless? I was your worst pupil, you're not the one to blame!”

Her laugh was contagious but she soon came to her senses. She calmed down then stood up, her hand grabbing mine to help me. Once we were both on our feet, her gauntlet began to light up. After spending so much time with her I quickly understood what it meant.

— “You have to go right?”

You could hear the disappointment in my voice. She too seemed reluctant to leave. Her gaze darted back and forth between me and her wrist.

— “The King requests my presence at the castle… I must get there.”

— “It’s no big deal, we'll see each other next time.”

She was about to retort but no words could come out of her mouth. Against her will, she dragged her feets to Rosefield.

We can't even celebrate together. But it's not her fault after all, we can always do it another time.

I looked out of the corner of my eye at the carcass strewn across the ground. Despite the morbidity of its dead body, my stomach gurgled when I saw it. At last I'm going to be able to eat a nice meaty meal tonight. I can use its fur too, I'll just have to go to the tailor and sell it. I hurried to cut it up methodically. 

Once I've finished all that, I'll go to Roselia to collect a bit of money from the sales! I can't wait to taste it, tonight will be one of the highlights of my adventure in Feris.