Nikki settled onto the grass, the cool blades poked at his back and legs, but he didn’t mind, the moon cast a gentle glow down across the park, but one that was not nearly as bright as the lamp nearby, the two lights cascaded across the spot like two opposites fighting for dominance, warm and cool light coming together at clashing odds.
Insu joined him a minute later, sitting on the grass right beside him so that there wasn’t even a blade of grass between their hips, a nervous energy evident in his movements. His philosophy book lay forgotten beside him, his gaze flitting nervously between Nikki and the ground.
Nikki shivered with excitement.
Nikki turned and looked up, gazing at the stars, his mind raced with a million thoughts, each one more chaotic than the last. He couldn’t shake the feeling of anticipation that hung in the air, a sense of nervousness that pulsed beneath his skin like a current.
The silence between them was palpable, each moment stretching on endlessly as they both struggled to find the right words to say. Nikki felt a knot form in his stomach, his heart pounding in his chest as he tried to quell the rising tide of anxiety that threatened to overwhelm him.
But despite the uncertainty that filled the air, there was also a sense of excitement, a spark of anticipation that danced just beneath the surface. Nikki couldn’t deny the flutter of anticipation that filled his chest as he waited for Insu to speak.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Insu cleared his throat, breaking the heavy silence that hung between them. “Nikki,” he began, his voice tentative but filled with determination. “I’ve been thinking…”
Nikki turned to him, his heart pounding in his chest as he waited for Insu to continue. He couldn’t help but feel a surge of nervous energy coursing through his veins, his stomach churning with anticipation.
But Insu stopped, almost stuck.
‘Stuck, hmm… I suppose I will break the ice then.’
Nikki leaned back and looked back up at the sky, a smile on his face. “Insu, do you ever think about love from a scientific standpoint?”
Insu chuckled, and Nikki turned away from the sky to meet his date’s gaze. “Always, What’s on your mind?”
Nikki gazed at him and smirked. “See now, this might be too heavy for a first date. But I’ve been contemplating if love is just a neural symphony in our brains, a cascade of chemicals creating the illusion of something profound. The end of the synapses, if you will.”
“Pain, torture. Why does it have to be such a convoluted feeling that has a heavy control over us? Things like love. Fate… Hope, any of those take a pick. Whichever one suits your fancy. Why are these happy emotions the hardest ones to feel? Why is it that being stagnant and dull is so much easier to settle into?” Nikki said.
“This is what I have been working on for my thesis.”
“Maybe it’s because our hearts are so easily damaged that to protect ourselves, we never want to give in,” Insu said.
Nikki scoffed. “No.”
“Love is a lie we tell ourselves. I don’t think falling in love, fate, or hope has anything to do with the heart at all. I think our emotions are processed through our brains.”
Insu chuckled dismissively.
“No no, really, I mean it, love is processed through our brains.”
Insu chuckled. “That seems illogical to me.”
“Hmm, okay, can you think about it for a minute? Entertain this train of thought.”
Insu smirked but nodded, encouraging Nikki to continue.
“Okay, so the center of our very being is not our heart. I believe that our synapses tell us how to feel. I think we confuse the body’s response to our synapses as site zero. But in reality, it’s our brains that are the muscles controlling our feelings. See, everything runs through our brains. That’s why without it, we are nothing. Even if our hearts keep beating. If our brain is lost, then so are we, we become like an empty shell. I think because the brain uses logic, it wants to believe in those emotions, but it knows better. Only a fool believes in love. Only a fool believes in hope.” Nikki said.
“So what do you think?” he asked Insu.
Insu thought for a moment while the silence stretched on. Finally, he spoke.
“But if that is how it is. Then how are so many people able to find love? Or believe in hope and fate? How can they have moments of destiny? How can there be moments like this one?” Insu asked. He reached out a hand and stroked the top of Nikki’s hand with his thumb. Then he moved his hand onto his back.
Nikki felt his fingers press into the divot of his back, slowly caressing him until he reached his tailbone. His hand slipped lower as he leaned in. Nikki felt Insu’s warm breath slip across his shoulder and down his low-collared shirt.
He shuddered with delight.
“How can we explain the connection between super different people at all, then?” He whispered.
Nikki gulped. “See, this is why I should never have swiped left on a philosophy major’s profile for a date. I should have known that science and philosophy don’t mix.” Nikki said while licking his lips.
Insu smirked. “I dunno; I think it would mix pretty well.” He whispered as his fingers reached down and pinched Nikki’s waist.
Nikki’s body shivered under Insu’s light and experienced touch. The trees above them bounced and shook as the wind cut through the park they were sitting in.
Insu grinned. “You believe in science, right?”
Nikki nodded his ascent.
“Then, in science, you test and double-check your hypothesis before concluding, right?”
Nikki nodded again.
“Then do you want to test the science out with me?” Insu asked; he dipped his head down low and lightly kissed the nape of Nikki’s neck.
Nikki gulped; he looked around them at the park.
“Here? Now? Out in the open?” He whispered.
Insu smirked, and Nikki thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest.
His brain controls the hard wiring of his body’s blood flow. He reminded himself. It’s just something you can control logically.
“Not here, no.” He said; he grabbed Nikki’s hand and pulled him up from the bench they had been sitting on. And he walked ahead, slowly leading Nikki forward. Nikki stared down at their hands and smiled.
Logically, he wants to do things logically. He reminded himself.
Insu finally stopped pulling him, and Nikki blinked, looking up to see what or who had made Insu stop.
“A car?” Nikki said slowly.
Insu hit the button on his keys, the car alarm was canceled, and the doors unlocked. “Your car?” Nikki asked.
‘Does he want to go home after playing with me for only an hour in the park? It’s only ten thirty. Does he really want to end the night this early… I thought we would be doing karaoke or going to a bar. But this early. And he said what he said.’
Nikki nodded and got into the car obediently. Maybe he was going to take him to a specific spot to show him what he meant.
Insu got in a second later. Nikki was pulling the seat belt on when Insu’s hand caught him and stopped him. Nikki looked up.
Insu’s hand fell onto Nikki’s leg and slowly traveled up higher.
“Science right?” Insu said slowly.
Nikki licked his lips. His brain finally wrapped around what Insu was getting at. He suddenly felt supper embarrassed they had gotten into such a good debate earlier that he had been feeling pretty fantastic. There was nothing like a good debate to heat up the body and the mind.
“Did you like fighting with me so much that you lost not just your train of derivative thought? But that you can’t think past the words said?” Insu asked. Nikki opened his mouth, but then stopped and closed it again.
“I am science smart, I can do astrophysical equations right now. But if you ask me to think with my…” He looked down at his pants. “Then I tend to get a little jumbled.”
Insu chuckled and reached down into the waistband of his pants. “Then let’s get a little jumbled while we conduct a few closed-circuit tests. You need to research, after all.” Insu purred.
Nikki threw back his head with a groan. He nodded. “Yes, let’s research.” He agreed.
Insu’s mouth closed over his and kissed him deeply and wildly as his hands roamed into places that were normally closed off to others.
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