Chapter 6

Have I ever raised my voice like this before? I wondered. It was the first time I’d ever shouted at someone so loudly. Being out of breath was the price I paid for my sudden outburst, leaving me huffing and puffing.

Covering his ears, the boy seemed surprised to be on the receiving end of someone’s screams. His astonishment made him seem like a tiny animal of prey in stark contrast to his threatening stance from only moments ago. Maybe this was why I didn’t feel all that frightened of him even though he was a complete stranger. But since I was still catching my breath, I was hardly the picture of a strong predator either.

“Please let me see her!” As I began to shout once more, a woman with a thin shawl draped around her shoulders suddenly appeared behind me without a sound. Her eyes searched for whoever was responsible for all the noise. The annoyance on her face was clear as day as she chewed on a pipe.

“What is this racket? I don’t see anyone,” she said.

“I’m down here!”

Either the woman was pretending not to see me, or she hadn’t bothered to look down. I let out a sharp cry of frustration. Her eyes found me, and she was quiet for a long moment. With sharp, judging eyes, the woman studied me from head to toe. Eventually she blew out a cloud of smoke, still staring at me as if I were a fascinating anomaly. “I can see that you’re nothing but a little girl dressed in rags. What business do you have with me?”

“Please take me under your wing. If you do, I can give you something you need!”

“Charity isn’t really my thing, little girl.” Another gust of smoke billowed out from between the woman’s lips.

I grew anxious, unable to read her expression which was obscured by the white smoke. I opened my bag, revealing the stack of documents, and waved a fistful of the papers at her. “I heard the director say that these were never to end up in your hands, so I brought them to you. Aren’t you the least bit interested?” If you need these papers, then take me in. Give me shelter and the things I need to prepare myself so I can further twist this story to my own liking. I looked up at her in desperation, but the strange fog still hung around her and I couldn’t see her face clearly.

The woman reached out with her hand. If I were less shaken I would have made her promise to take me in before entrusting the papers to her, but I was frantic and had no time to consider this. My hands were sweaty from anxiety, and I wiped them dry on my clothes before shoving the bag full of documents closer to the woman so she could examine them. I heard the boy groan next to me as I waited with bated breath for her to respond.

She took a handful of the documents and began to flip through them at a leisurely pace, as unimpressed as she had been when observing me. Her lips were pressed together silently, only to part when she arrived at the last page. “I don’t know where you heard that I wanted these, but is this rubbish really why you’re here?” She asked me in an incredulous tone, then laughed quietly. “A kid from the slum could have procured this for me. Or rather, employing kids from the slum to do the job would have gotten me all this much faster, had I so desired.”

“What?” This can’t be. The main characters made such a big deal out of sneaking those papers out safely. I thought she would be thrilled to have them. I could not understand why she was so unimpressed. It felt like I’d been running a race only to trip over something that had been carefully positioned to paint me a fool. I couldn’t control the muscles in my face. What do I do? I stood there, frozen and completely dispirited, biting my lip hard as my eyes darted around in confusion.

The woman said, “Your hair is quite a peculiar shade.”

I didn’t know what to say. She’s talking about my purple hair. I froze and peered up at her, understanding what she was getting at. Her eyes formed crescents as she smiled through the cloud of smoke, and I thought I could see her sneering at me—or more precisely, at a very particular person’s daughter.

“That shade is not common around here. Maybe it is in our neighboring country, but pale purple? Anyone would know just by looking at you that you’re her daughter.”

“I...” It felt like someone had wrapped their hands around my throat and was squeezing. I thought I had come to a place of refuge, but it turned out that it was exactly the same here as it was in any other place. I found it hard to breathe all of a sudden. But at the same time, fury swept through me. What have I ever done that was so wrong? What did my mother do that was so wrong to deserve being hated like this? They know nothing about me!

I felt my fingernails digging into my palms as I balled my hands into fists. With no idea how to express my anger, I felt sorrow wash over me. I struggled not to burst into tears in front of total strangers. I forced down my sorrow, using the pain in my palms to refocus, then turned my shimmering eyes to the woman. The smoke continued to cover her face like a veil. “Is it because I’m the former duchess’s daughter? Is that why you’re trying to kick me out?”

“Taking you in might cause complications for my business. I know you came here to make a deal with me, but my business is not a charity. So leave while I’m still asking nicely.” You don’t belong here. She turned away as if to disappear as quietly as she had come.

“Then where do I belong?” The woman froze mid-turn as questions tumbled from my lips. “In the orphanage where people bully and abuse me? With my father who denies that I’m his daughter, who has never checked on me once? Or is it with my mother who just passed away?”

She remained silent.

“Do you think I should just drop dead as well? Are you going to just sneer at me and turn away, just like everyone else did when my mother passed? Do you think I deserve the same, tragic end? Why? Because I am my mother’s daughter?”

The woman did not respond. Unable to stop the words from pouring out, I realized that I didn’t want to be silent. “I don’t want to die. I want to live.” Just wanting someone to listen to me for once, I felt hollow as I confessed my desire to survive. Maybe I was lashing out like this because I knew I had no chance now that she had turned me away.

When I was done, there was silence, which was only broken by a small voice suddenly coming out of nowhere. “Ahem. Can you hear me, Mother? I need to inform you of a disturbance.” The silence was broken by the lively voice of a man.

“What is it?”

Strangely, the man’s voice seemed to be coming directly from her. As I concentrated, I realized the voice was actually coming from somewhere within all the fog. “A fire has broken out at the orphanage. It seems to be quite big because the guards are running around like headless chickens, worried that the small mountain behind the orphanage might catch fire as well. The guards assigned to the castle gate are running about like fools as well.”

“A fire at the orphanage?” With those words, the white smoke surrounding her face melted away all at once. Her eyes glinted with interest, attentive as they pinned me in place, accompanied by the boy’s bewildered stare. They were clearly asking me with their eyes what had happened.

I answered them casually as if it were nothing to worry about. “I started the fire. I didn’t want anyone to know that I’d run away.”

“You set the fire?”

“I locked my door to make it look like I died in there. If I go back, they’ll know that it was my doing, and I’ll be beaten to death.” The boy’s face was a picture of shock as I explained calmly. I sighed. He was so easily surprised.

“Beaten to death?” the woman asked me, after glancing at the boy. It was the first genuine question she’d asked me, but I wasn’t exactly happy about it.

“I was told that I’d be taken somewhere tomorrow because I’m too headstrong. They said that I’d lose my stubborn ways after a painful lesson. The director said the place would be swarming with people who hated my mother.”

“He was talking about the slum.”

“What does my mother have to do with the slum?”

The woman didn’t bother answering my question yet again. I wasn’t sure if she was keeping her silence to protect me or because she just did not care to clue me in like everyone else. The hope that I’d been holding on to seemed to shatter with a loud, sharp sound. I think I really might cry. My eyes throbbed, but I knew tears wouldn’t solve anything. All crying would do was exhaust me. Slapping myself in the face hard, I gazed up at the woman. It was my choice to come here, and I would only leave when I decided I was ready to go. No one was allowed to just kick me out.

Plucking up the last of my courage, I addressed her as bravely as I could. “I came to see you because I thought you might help me since you hate the director.” I pushed down the feeling of dejection brewing in my stomach as I continued. “I came here because I overheard the director talking about you. But I take it that the reality is you can’t help me.”

You want me dead, too. Everyone wants me dead, as if that’s the only option for me, as if it’s my destiny. My eyes felt hot when I forced them open. I knew I looked like I was on the verge of tears even though that had passed by now. Still, I didn’t want to avoid her eyes. The honest truth was that I wanted her to change her mind. I knew I had nowhere left to go if they closed their doors on me, and that I might freeze to death before anyone even got the chance to beat me. I wanted to avoid death at all costs.

“Hm.”

I must have reached her on some level because for the first time that night the woman seemed conflicted and torn. Her eyes glistened with curiosity, and her lips were stretched in an amused smile.

“First of all, I suppose introductions are in order. My name is Chloe Benedito. What’s yours?”

“I’m Daphne.”

“All right, Daphne. So what exactly is it that you want?”

“I want to live,” I said, my voice trembling. I sounded shaken, but my answer was filled with sincerity and determination. Chloe seemed to be impressed by my resolve as her eyes curved with her smile, reminding me of a fox.

“You should try not to jump straight to the point. You must observe the proper steps if you want to become better acquainted with someone.” Chloe tapped a finger against her cheek, looking relaxed. She spent a few moments contemplating something and then grinned. “It’s unfortunate that you’ve already blurted out your story, but I happen to take manners very seriously. It would be lovely if you could bring me a flower—a little gift to say hello, if you will.”

“A flower?” What is she talking about? “Are you saying those documents are not enough?”

My eyes were wide with confusion, but she continued as if what she was asking was absolutely ordinary. “They’re sufficient, but not satisfying. Merchants are greedy, you see.”

Does she really want something else from me? Or is she just refusing in a polite, roundabout way? “I don’t think I’ll be able to find flowers in this weather.”

Chloe nodded in obvious agreement. “Well, you’ll have to try your best, won’t you? You didn’t expect me to be satisfied with an ordinary gift, did you?”