Chapter 7

Oh, I realized. This is a test. She was testing to see how determined I truly was. I fell silent.

“I hear you may be able to find blossoms blooming outside the castle gates, even in this weather. But it’s too dangerous for a small child like you to venture outside alone.” Chloe held the pipe between her teeth, puffing out mouthfuls of white smoke. “There could be wild animals or stray monsters,” she said, lowering her voice as if she were trying to frighten me. “You’d have to go out on those dark roads all alone if you wanted to find a blossom.”

Her face disappeared behind the cloud of white smoke once more. I couldn’t see her expression, but I could guess what she was going to say next. I wasn’t sure what had made her change her mind, but Chloe had decided to give me a chance. “One mistake and your search for the flower will be over. You’d be dead, and no one would ever know. Knowing this, are you still willing to get me a flower? If so, I’d prefer a red one.”

“As long as you don’t mind unpruned flowers, I’m up for it.” I had no reason to turn down this opportunity. As I answered, the white fog disappeared from before her lips, and I could see that they were stretched into a satisfied grin. She seemed pleased with my answer, but the boy clearly was not.

“Mother! You can’t possibly be serious. You’re sending this kid out there all alone at this hour?” It was strange to hear the boy trying to change her mind so frantically. I had endless experience with hatred, but none with concern. Without really meaning to, I found myself looking up at him. Noticing my stare, he cleared his throat uncomfortably, turning his attention back to talking Chloe out of her request. “Please give her a different mission. She looks so fragile... This mission could leave her badly injured. The forest isn’t safe these days.”

“I don’t remember asking for your opinion. It’s Daphne’s choice to make.” Chloe silenced the boy immediately.

The boy’s expression crumpled with dejection and he glared down at me, as though asking if I was really going to do this. I nodded. He immediately shouted in objection, “But she’s only five or six!”

“I’m seven, and I ran all the way here just fine.” My answer was both firm and stubborn. He turned his scowl on Chloe with a look of disbelief. She merely shrugged.

“It’s already going to be easier than usual to pass the castle gate since Daphne set the orphanage on fire and seems so determined. I see no problem.” Chloe ruffled the boy’s hair roughly before glancing at me. “I advise you to make haste, since I don’t like to be kept waiting. Be here by sunrise.”

Having delivered her final condition, Chloe disappeared in another puff of smoke. It was an incredible sight, but I had no time to stand by and stare. I knew I had to hurry, so I began my journey to the castle gate. When an opportunity comes knocking you have to seize it! My mind was set and ready, but I stopped mid-step to stare up at the boy. “I don’t know where the castle gate is. Could you possibly walk me there?”

He gaped, lost for words, but finally sighed and answered, “Before we worry about that, you need shoes. Wait a moment. I’ll take you to the gate.”

* * *

Lenox, the green-haired boy, was kind to me in a way that no one else had ever been.

“Daphne, was it? I’m Lenox Benedito.”

He had stopped me from rushing outside, bringing me a pair of small shoes. They might have been the smallest pair he could find, but they were still too big for me.

Lenox looked at me with pity in his eyes. Being looked at without any disgust was, quite frankly, an awkward experience. What a peculiar boy. Maybe he’s just a very empathetic person. My fingertips tingled in the face of his unfamiliar kindness. It was strange to be treated as a child rather than the daughter of the despised former duchess.

Lenox watched me put the shoes on with a complicated expression before holding something else out for me. “It’s cold out. You’ll get sick if you go around like that.” He wrapped a small robe around me, still seemingly unsatisfied. “It’s not much, but that’s all I have. Bear with it for now.” For now. Did that mean he planned to find me something else later? I nodded, unable to answer verbally.

“It’s quite a distance to the castle gate. It’d be better if we held hands.” His hand was shaking like mine had been not long ago, but I didn’t want to refuse his offer. Lenox took my hand in his and walked me to the castle gate, careful to walk slowly enough that I could keep up. “It’s very dangerous on the other side of the gate. It’s okay to give up and come back if you’re scared.”

“But then I won’t have a flower.”

“It’s really dangerous outside, though. Much more so than you can even imagine.”

I had only one answer to that. “I’ve been in constant danger all my life. It wasn’t easy to get this far. So if the road forward is a little dangerous, that changes nothing for me.” I was touched by his warm concern, but I couldn’t know for sure if he was being sincere. “So, you don’t need to pretend you’re worried about me.” I thought of Yuriane as I spat these words at him coldly, bowing my head to avoid his eyes.

We exchanged no words after that.

* * *

There were no guards at the castle gate, just as the voice had reported. Such a fuss over a little fire. How would they react if something truly bad happened in the capital?

“The guards are clearly not very good at their jobs.” It seemed as though Lenox was thinking the same thing as I was. I wiggled my hand in his. It felt strange to share the same thoughts as another person. “Make sure you return safely.”

We passed through the castle gate. The forest was dark except for the pool of lamplight at the gate. The orphanage was by now entirely engulfed in flames, but the forest was blanketed in darkness. I flinched as we were plunged into inky blackness, and Lenox looked down at me with concern.

“It’s too scary for you. We should just go back,” he said.

“No. I don’t want to.” Whether he was truly worried or not, I couldn’t afford the luxury of giving up. I had nowhere else to go.

Lenox frowned but did not try to change my mind again. “Just follow the known path and you should be fine, I hope.” I nodded as he pointed into the darkness. I marched into the forest as Lenox watched me from behind.

It felt as if the gaping blackness was trying to swallow me whole, and my footsteps slowed. It’s so dark. Maybe because of the cold, there wasn’t a single sound—not even a cricket. The moonlight was shining down softly on me. Only my quiet footsteps and the sound of the dancing grass disturbed the silence of the forest. Goosebumps crawled up and down my arms, and it felt like I was the only person alive out here. Okay, so I’m a little scared. But I had to keep my wits about me so I could find a blossom as fast as possible.

Fortunately the road was well-kempt, and the gentle moonlight made it easier to keep moving. My head was constantly turning back and forth, trying to spot a gleam of red in the dark. Flowers? It’s a miracle that the grass is even growing out here. I wrapped myself tightly in the robe, trying to forget about how cold it was. That was when I heard a noise.

The forest was utterly silent with the exception of my footsteps, so the slightest noise reached my ears loud and clear. I heard something growling. A beast cried out, and then I heard sniffing. Swallowing nervously, I slowly turned my head in the direction I had heard the growl. The noise was drawing closer from somewhere within the darkness. I knew instantly that I would be dead as soon as the beast appeared from out of the dry thickets.

Fleeing the road, I ran straight into the thickets on the opposite side without a moment’s hesitation. I thought I heard the beast’s cry, but I didn’t think to look back as I ran for my life. I didn’t know how far my scrawny little legs would carry me, but I knew that stopping would mean death.

Unsure of how far I had run at this point, my lungs were screaming for air and my legs were shaking in protest. As soon as I realized how tired I was, my already-mangled ankle gave way and I fell to the ground. Falling caused a lot of noise, but fortunately I could see that nothing was pursuing me. I looked around trying to determine where I was, but all I could see was darkness. As I tried to hoist myself up, my legs refused to listen to me.

Even the moon had disappeared. Sitting in complete darkness, reality dawned on me. I can see nothing but darkness. Not so much as a ray of moonlight was able to penetrate the thick gloom of the forest. It seemed as though the world had truly abandoned me. Above all, I despised how dark it was. I don’t like these hues of darkness. They remind me of that man who can’t stand me. I hate them.

The darkness’s cold breath drifted around me, feeling as though it was ready to slash at me. My brain was screaming, telling me to get up and move, but my feet refused to comply. Move, for goodness’s sake. Move! Didn’t you run away because you wanted to live?

I knew it was too late to turn things around. I don’t think I can hold it in anymore. Tears filled my eyes—great, fat droplets, ready to spill over and hit the ground. My hopes drifted away, and the reality of my situation became very clear—the biting wind, the deathly quiet forest, the deep blackness surrounding me, and the fact that I was lost. I’m frightened. The darkness was going to swallow me whole, clearing the way for someone else’s happily-ever-after. The fact that the story judged my mere existence as a stain on its fated happy ending frightened me.

I might have thought I was already dead if it weren’t for my throbbing ankle. Bowing my head, I felt the last of my hope slipping away. I was sinking down into a bottomless pit of despair. With hope gone, abandoning the mission began to seem like a good idea.

But just then, I saw something swaying before my eyes.