Startled by his words, Keegan raises her eyebrows ever so slightly. 

Mistaking her expression as expectant, Kai gulps, his eyes flitting around nervously before he takes a breath and steadies his gaze on her. 

Kai again wondered if he should be on his knees before her. 

“I acted like a fool, and was rude to you.”

When he is met with silence, he rambles on, his palms clammy against his knees.

“It was just a new place and I was expecting Lucian to pull me out like he normally does, so I didn’t believe you when you said he doesn’t exist.”

Realizing she hadn’t given him any reaction, she nods finally. 

“I…” He starts again, becoming more and more nervous at the mild response.

“So I wanted to apologize and ask you some things about where I am and… what I should be expecting.”

The hidden meaning behind his words made her heart ache. 

‘Are you my new master?’ 

This was what he was trying to ask. Keegan was well aware of what Kai had been through in his world. A traumatic story bound in an illusionary bow. 

“You can do whatever your heart desires.” Keegan starts after a few moments of silence, tilting her head in confusion, wondering how to set his nerves at ease. It had been years since she comforted anyone, so she may have forgotten to, but she wished she remembered all the same. 

Her gaze fell on his sunken cheeks, the bags under his eyes. She cursed herself for not considering the kind of reassurance he would need in order to adjust successfully and made a mental note to consult Marcus later.

When Kai heard her response, his beautiful face bunched together in a frown, as if the answer was too vague.

She picked up her cup of tea, trying to ignore the elaborate treats that were brought in for them. They would most definitely upset his stomach. She should have been more specific on what kind of snacks to bring in. 

‘These won’t do. He needs something softer on his stomach.’ She thought, vowing to order more frequent small meals for Kai to consume comfortably. 

“Let me ask you something, Sir Kai.” She said, her eyes downcast as she placed her cup back down with a muted clink. 

“You did not barge in on me. I barged in on you. Stealing you from your home. Robbing you of the places that are familiar to you.”

Kai was grasping his hands together, his heart pounding so erratically it was making him nauseous. The knuckles on each hand were turning white with the pressure of his fingers. 

“An apology is not something I expect to hear from you.” 

Her eyes seemed to soften for a moment as she continued, her voice pleasant if not a little husky.

“The Duchy is prepared to support you in your endeavors, whatever they may be. I can grant you land within my territory, make you a noble, sponsor your academic interest. My debt that I owe you is much more than that, however this is all I can give.”

“So you see, Sir Kai, it is I who should be apologizing to you.” 

Her clear gray eyes settle on Kai’s sunset hues and do not stray.

“You can live life anew here. Whatever you wish- except taking your life or any other self mutilation.”

She raises a finger, wagging it slightly before setting her hand in her lap.

“So what is it that you would like to do?” Keegan finally asks Kai, hoping that this would be the start of a constructive conversation. 

Keegan knew that Kai would be able to use a type of magic when he wields his sword, called Spirit, but she was not completely sure what timeline Kai was pulled from, as he was often hurt. If she revealed to him that he would wield it, but this world’s magic was not capable of manifesting his ability, his confidence would crumble when the time came. And if she revealed too much of his life that he has yet to live, he may lose the courage to live at all. 

Keegan had left the book there not for him to read, but more so for his reality to sink in. 

‘Not that he would be living the same life here’ She reminds herself. 

There was just too much she didn’t know about her own ability, and therefore, the only foundation she could build for him was with what she already possessed: wealth, privilege and influence.

And for her favorite character, she would do whatever it takes to make sure he was settled and happily living. Anything would be better than the dreary existence Kai’s life was. 

After several moments, sweat trickled down Kai’s face.

‘Uh-oh’ Keegan thought ‘Perhaps this was too strong a subject to approach’

Before she could speak up, Kai opens his mouth to speak. 

“I- I don’t know.” he finally says, his face flushing.

‘I really should be on my knees!’ his inner thoughts overrun everything else before he reclaims a semblance of calm, just in time to catch her response. 

Keegan nods. It’s the equivalent of a slave being granted their freedom overnight with nowhere to return to. In fact, this is exactly the situation Kai found himself in. 

She could not fathom all the thoughts going through his mind, as she watched his eyes flit around the table, thinking. 

“You can take your time. Your answer does not sway my support in the slightest, even if you were to tell me you wanted to laze about for the rest of your life.” 

She said this, extending her hand to cover his, but stopped short. His gaze was watching her hand expectantly, and she realized her subconscious act of comfort can be viewed as invasive in the eyes of a person who did not have the choice to decline such advances.

She retracted her hand, instead, verbally approached him as she would a small deer.

“Did you have any more questions for me?” Trying to change the subject, she mostly wanted the haunted look on his face to dissipate. Her chest stung with worry seeing it.

Noticing her question register on his face, she waits patiently for him to respond. 

“I… How long am I allowed to stay here?” Kai’s heart is in his throat, threatening to burst out in a fountain of bile or blood, he couldn’t tell. The freedom he was being offered was one he had heard before, but he could see no malice in her eyes as she spoke. No promise for misery. No price to pay. 

For some reason this made him quiver like a leaf.

“As long as you want.” Her voice was clear, her eyes soft, with what looked like worry to him. 

“W- When do I need to give you answers on what I want to do?” 

Maybe as soon as he gave her those answers, he would be kicked out. 

She shrugged.

“Whenever you want. Next year, five years, ten years, never. Like I said, you can laze around all you want, or spend the rest of your life looking for it. I’ll support you.” She said, her tone deep and comforting.

For a moment, all that could be heard was the sound of rustling as Keegan crossed one of her legs, adjusting her sitting position. Kai seemed to have forgotten to breathe, when a sort of recognition crossed over his face.

There has to be something she wants in return, some sort of compensation, he thinks to himself, at a loss. He was confused why a stranger would offer him so much for nothing in return. 

“The price… what is the price for letting me stay? The job I’ll be doing?”

Keegan looks at Kai, observing his tense body, the sweat glistening on his face and feels her heart ache in response. Her favorite character, no matter how many times she read the book, was abused and used throughout the entire story. But she loved that book so much because he kept going despite it. His determination to see a brighter day is most likely how she herself lasted this long inside her own reality.

But seeing this poor man’s reactions in real time, smelling the salt from his sweat, watching his clenched hands in person was such a heart rending scene. 

His constant attempts at locating a loophole told Keegan how much belief he had in his current situation, but she didn’t mind. In fact she would take pride in setting him at ease, seeing his cheeks fill out, the bags disappear from under his eyes.

She smiled at him as gently as she could.

“There is no price, no job you need to fulfill while you’re here. The only thing I want for you is your happiness, safety, security. For you to learn how to live again.” She said these words slowly, willing them to sink in. 

“Happiness….” he repeats.

Did he know happiness? Yes, of course he did. It was in freshly baked bread the lovely women of the market gifted him, the smell of grass as he traveled through it, a cool breeze across his face when he was working, the sounds of friendly banter when he visited the pubs. How long had it been since he experienced any of that? He couldn’t remember. 

“Does this mean I’ll never see my friends again? My home?” 

Kai watches Keegan’s face crumple painfully ever so slightly. That in itself was his answer. 

“The magic with which I brought you here is not well documented.” She finally says. 

“All the cases that our family has, there is no record of sending anything or anyone back to where they came from.” Her own answer made her mouth taste bitter. In her selfishness, she wanted to provide for Kai so well that he wouldn’t want to go back home. In fact, she wanted him to forget it entirely. It hadn’t crossed her mind that he would want to go back to the place that treated him so badly. 

“Do you truly want to go back home?” she asked earnestly, her composure slipping slightly. 

Seeing her usually cool demeanor, it was easy for Kai to forget that this woman in front of him knew his entire life. In fact, it was sitting on the nightstand in his room untouched. 

With a chill down his spine, Kai was beginning to understand the kind of life he would be facing from now on. He wasn’t a stranger to being introduced into a new environment without warning. It was the fact that he could search this entire world and not find a familiar face that set his heart in ice. 

‘There is absolutely no one that knows me. That would say they’re my friend. That would call me by my name.’

His vision, fixated on the untouched cup in front of him, began to blur. 

“Sir Kai?” Keegan’s voice was barely audible. She was afraid that the breath of her words would be enough to bowl him over and sweep him out the open window, what with the look on his face.

‘Lonely’ she thinks to herself. ‘What I would do to see him smile.’

When he had asked her about her intentions, she had thought briefly to share the desire of seeing him smile. But knowing Kai, he would have forced himself to smile whenever he saw her, and what she wanted to see was his genuine smile. Not a payment or obligation, but a byproduct of a happy life, observed in comfort.

Kai meets her gaze, his breath shaky.

“It seems the only answer I have is that I don’t know.” His teeth began to chatter, much to his embarrassment. 

“There’s no wrong answer, only a direction that I wish to be led in, so that I may help you as much as I can.” She says, trying to catch his gaze, but he won’t look at her. 

Realizing that this is probably the end of their conversation, she attempts to steer him in a new direction.

“I heard the lilac in the gardens have started to bloom. Whenever I have things I want to think about, a walk will usually help me.” She says, hoping to encourage him outside, instead of cooped up in his room. 

“Yes… yes, maybe I’ll do that. Please excuse me.” Kai says, looking a bit dazed. 

‘That was a heavy topic’ she agrees silently, watching him get up from his seat and leave without another word. 

She exhales, the tightness in her chest loosening a bit. 

With a new determination, she calls for Marcus.

“Yes, Your Grace?” the butler asks, expectant. 

“Please fetch a quill and some paper. Tell Terry that we’ll be making a donation and to prepare as such.” Marcus bows, preparing to fulfill his mistress’s request.

“Oh! And please share these with the staff.” She gestures to the untouched goods that were brought in upon Kai’s unexpected visit. Picking up a honey candy for her throat, she gets up and heads out the door to talk to the chef. 

“Yes, Your Grace.” Marcus says, smiling at her as he leaves to fetch the rolling cart.