“I’m finally back.”
No response. Of course, I live alone.
Entering my house, everything remains in their place, exactly as how I left it to be; A rolled carpet, unsorted books, and dishes lying about in the sink. This feels like someone was crashing into my place, but no, these are entirely my doing. Believe me when I said I’m actually more well-kept than this. It’s just, I have way too many things to do preventing me from doing my routines.
“Maybe it’s the perfect time to do spring cleaning.”
Or rather, a complete makeover. Some of these books are everywhere because I lack one shelf. The department store visit wasn’t very helpful since all they had were assembled ones, but didn’t have the size and length I wanted. Master once told me to get the DIY ones, and it’s much cheaper since I’ll be the one assembling it. Still, that’s not the only problem. I think my television is going to break soon with all the static noises and screen I’ve been getting. Poor thing must have been angry because I haven’t been using it for months.
They say a person's mental state is reflected from the way their house is decorated.
"Don't worry. They say all of your problems will be solved once you hit the thirty years threshold."
But, Master seems to be in his thirties and he can be very stressed sometimes. Maybe because he's a different breed, or because he doesn't dream of grand things, unlike myself. Leaving this bustling city and spend the rest of my days in peace and quiet, away from prying eyes or any potential conflicts is nothing but a pipe dream to me. But, until then, there are mistakes to mend.
That's right, and the mistake was for existing.
As much as I dislike my family for disregarding my existence, it was the same place my mother grew, the same place I was raised. I wanted to do one final thing for them, and what better parting gift for them than a change of character? A change of attitude, a change so significant they can't help but admiring and feel guilty for throwing me away. Although I'm a Defiled myself, and therefore morally unsuitable to be referred to as one of Makos' pupils, I find the psychological game flair far suitable, befitting of an Eurus origin.
Those who know the Richter Clan probably recognize me as the 'troublesome runaway princess', and my reputation does damage to their name. It was gratifying to know that much I can damage them, but they won't shut up about it, even after my departure from the Richter residence in Ostmark.
In other words, with or without using my mother as an excuse, it remains a task that ought to be fulfilled one day.
“I’m surprised I could dream this much, with me being a Defiled and all….” By the floor, books of all sizes are scattered across the room, as though someone had been rigorously researching a way to invoke a dangerous ritual. Among the items on the ground, one picture frame in particular captures my attention.
It was the last time I had a photo with my parents prior to their sudden deaths by an airplane crash. I was eight years old at that time, having no clue as to why they were buried. Weeks later, I started sobbing from their loss. The cruelest part of their passing was that even until the end, their graves were still met with lowly stares from my family.
Theresa Richter, was once renowned as the Directress for Eurus, but more famous for her controversial marriage. It wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Can you blame two people for falling in love even if the other is shunned from being a descendant to one of the most violent groups ever exist?
What happened between Defiled and Tellusens should stay in the past, and yet, the past always finds a way to catch up with the present, bringing ruin for the future. Those who don't inherit the same wish as their ancestors usually end up in a life or death predicament. Even though we're on the same boat, I got slightly luckier because there are individuals willing to help me. Also, it isn't as if all Tellusens are wary of Defiled. Only the unruly ones, but that doesn't stop most of Tellusens from associating it with the current peace loving Defiled.
It's an odd relationship, really. You appreciate each other's existence today, and violence would escalate the next day. Tellusens and Defiled didn't hate each other without a reason. The world was destroyed once because of Defiled. Progenitors of that time were only doing their duties to regain balance back to the world. Unfortunately, mistakes of bygone era becomes a permanent brand to us, as it become our mistakes in the present too.
My intention is to convince the Richter Clan that my existence, my father by extension, is not as foul as what they seem to think. However, the road to that goal is like walking barefoot on eggshells while a gale of wind pushes you backwards to a chasm waiting to consume me whole. It's impossible. Still, I want to try.
To accomplish that, I need a better job, or maybe a once in a lifetime chance that could turn my life upside down.
"But first, sleep time."
Even though the clock’s hand is exactly at nine in the night, my body feels like it’s crumbling. Normally, I could stay awake until midnight, in fact, not having to sleep at all. But, after forcing myself by not sleeping for two days straight, maybe it’s finally the time for me to get the rest I deserved.
My eyelids gradually turn heavy as I think of today’s events, and as my consciousness fades to black, I hope for a somewhat miraculous tomorrow.
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