"When they clear the roads, Papa and I can come get you. Papa's work was closed again today, he just got a call from the office. What should I make for dinner tonight? I know Sana-chan likes chicken the most. A chicken dish? Papa is sad that baseball season is over. You know how he likes to watch baseball with Sana-chan. I wish the pre-season would start already so they can watch baseball again."

"Wait a minute, go back to dinner plans. Can you make katsudon? I promised Sana. I can't believe I almost forgot!" I smacked my forehead in surprise. How could I have forgotten to ask my mom to make the katsudon I'd promised? Where was my mind?

"Mmm. Maybe oyako katsudon? I will have to go to the grocery store to get ingredients once the roads are cleared. Hmm. I can get other groceries, too. We need to replenish after the storm. Naoko and her family are staying with us for the duration of the storm, so I can help with the boys. You know how they eat. Goodness, they've been so rowdy. Papa has been having so much fun with them. Shinji almost broke the lamp in the living room. I told them not to play baseball in the house, but Papa was having too much fun. Good thing it was a rubber ball and not a real one! It's so early, but they're already outside playing in the snow. I wish Papa could see the boys more often, he has so much fun with them, but he works so hard. Always overtime these days, but that's what comes with being the boss."

I had to admit, hearing my mom go on and on as usual was comforting. I so wished we could be there at home with them. Sana would enjoy watching them play baseball in the house, even if he was laying on the couch watching them. I'd just be happy that he was happy, warm and safe at my parents' home. 

"You know." My mom paused for a second, and my eyebrow raised. It was unlike her. "You know. You two can stay with us as long as you want to. There is no pressure to go home. This is your family home, Te-chan. This is your home. Sana-chan is family now, too. This is his home, too. We've really loved having you two with us since New Year's. We're happy that you two are here. Papa loves having Sana-chan as a companion to talk to, and I like cooking with Sana-chan. He gives me such good tips! I love the recipe for hummingbird cake he taught me. I'd never heard of it before, and now it's Papa's favorite."

"Oh, mom..." my hand pressed to my heart. 

"Don't worry, Te-chan."

"Okay."

"You're not alone. Naoko and I were talking about that last night. We were making daifuku for the boys. Naoko was worried that you might be worried that you're imposing on us. You are not imposing on us! Please don't think that. You're not alone, either. We want to help. We're always here for family. We want to make sure you two are okay."

My eyes were blurry. I blinked it away. I knew this conversation must be hard for her. She never liked to talk about uncomfortable things. Sana had remarked that my mom and I were very similar, always talking a mile a minute without a pause for breath, and always about a positive subject. He said we seemed to have the same personality. I hadn't noticed, but now I did all the time. So, I knew now that what my mom was saying was very hard. 

"Thank you, mom."

"Absolutely. Ah, you know? Should I make a cake for tonight, too? I'm sure Naoko and everybody will be staying for dinner. I know the boys take any opportunity for sweets. What kind of cake do you think Sana-chan would like to eat? I know he liked the Christmas cake we had very much. Something with strawberries, then?"

I looked over at Sana's sleeping face. He was smiling a little bit. What was he dreaming about? So cute. 

"Yeah, a cake would be good. Hmm. I know if Sana was awake, he'd have all kinds of strawberry cake recipes to tell you about. I don't know very many. I know he made me a lemon cake with strawberry frosting once. There were poppy seeds in the cake. The strawberry frosting was so light, not overly sweet, more tangy like a strawberry rather than the sweetness. The whole cake wasn't too sweet, really. Just more the fruit taste, like the slight sourness of the lemon. Ah." My hand was to my cheek, because my mouth was filling with saliva, just thinking about that cake. I wished he could make it again. I shook my head a little, trying to remove the thought. He'd be able to cook again when he was ready. I didn't want to think things like that. 

"I can try to make it! When Sana is awake be sure to ask him to call me. I'd love to have the recipe. He always has such good ideas."

There was a slight movement in the corner of my eye. Before I could turn my head, I heard it.

Cough, cough, cough.

My eyes widened, and I felt my eyebrows crease. Sana's eyes weren't even open, and he was coughing so hard all of a sudden. My hand automatically went to his forehead. 

"Mom, I have to go, Sana is coughing," I said quickly. 

"Ok. Bye bye."

I hung up and turned my complete attention to Sana. Was he awake? Or was he...

His eyes opened and he curled up a bit, his body heaved and he started coughing even harder. 

"Oh, oh, oh," I whispered, patting his forehead a little. I whipped around to the table behind me and grabbed his purse. He needed his inhaler immediately. I found the inhaler, and opened it in only a few seconds. I was getting good at this. 

He took the inhaler from me and puffed it twice. His eyes closed as he did. I breathed a silent sigh of relief. He handed the inhaler back to me, giving me a smile of thanks.

But. He coughed a little with his mouth closed, and he was coughing again, still. 

"Uh oh," he squeaked. Said in English. He said it so often, I'd memorized what it meant. He often said it when he was cooking, and that memory made me want to smile. 

"Do you want another puff?" 

"I don't know. I must have-" he coughed again. "-I must have been having an attack when I was-" he coughed harder, and my eyebrow crease deepened, my body jumped, my hand going towards him, trying to help him. "-when I was sleeping." He covered his mouth and curled again, coughing so deeply, his whole body just...

"We can get you a nebulizing treatment! We're at the hospital already. Oh, thank goodness. We can do that."

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I'd better-" he made a sound like he was hacking up a lung. I jumped up off my chair and reached for the nurse calling button, but thought better of it. I ran to the door instead. With him coughing that hard, his heart... I whipped open the door quick as lightning.

A nurse was in the hallway, and she looked up from her clipboard with an alarmed face. 

"My boyfriend needs a nebulizing treatment right away, he's got a weak heart. He's coughing so much, I think-"

"We'll get that right away."

"Thank you so much."

I closed the door and went back to Sana. He was still curled up, almost under the blanket. But he needed to breathe. I know sometimes when he started coughing like this, he tried to cover his mouth so he wouldn't give me some kind of infectious disease if he had one. But he needed to breathe. He wasn't sick like that. But he was always thinking about me, even when he was in danger. My lip poked out involuntarily at this, and that was a facial expression which I knew Sana usually couldn't get enough of, because he thought it was unbearably cute.

So, I used it to my advantage. "Sana-a," I called to him. I pulled the blanket away. "Don't cover yourself, you need to breathe. I'll be fine." I patted his back, trying to help him cough.

"But-" he couldn't get anything but that out, just so doubled over.

"No 'but'. This is a hospital! If I got sick they'd take care of me!" I started laughing at the ridiculousness of it, somehow. 

And somehow, amidst the coughing, he started giggling. Oh, what a wonderful sound! I saw the corners of his mouth go up as he coughed, too. So, I continued.

"Can you imagine if I were to get sick now? They'd put our hospital beds together, I bet. What a sight we'd be, right? Just the two of us. My mom would come and scold us like we were children."

"Y- yeah." He giggled, but then his whole body tensed and he let out the worst cough yet. 

"Don't worry, they're bringing the nebulizer treatment soon." My hand rubbed his back, staying there, soothing him. I'm sure coughing like that hurt. I sighed silently. He was in so much distress, he didn't need to be in pain, too. 

He nodded, because that's all he could do. My mind went to his heart. It must be pounding so hard in his chest. My worry level went to ten.  "It's going to be ok. They'll be here soon." I wished I could do more. If we were at home, we'd have his nebulizer right in our room and he'd be being treated now. I learned how to do it. But, it was better we were in the hospital. They could check his heart, make sure it was okay.

The door opened, and a nurse came in. A young girl, with pixie style hair. We hadn't seen her before. They must have changed shifts this morning already. 

"I've got it. It's going to be okay. Can you sit up? Do you need help?" She was screwing the medicine into the bottom of the machine as she walked. 

Without having to say a word, I uncurled Sana and lifted him into a sitting position. His bed wasn't propped, so I went and sat on his bed, holding him, my arm around his waist, pressing him to me. His head laid on my shoulder. He seemed heavy on my body. He must have felt weak from the coughing. I was glad I could hold him like this. His eyes closed. He must have been so spent from all that already. These days, it was just a chore to walk from our bed to our bathroom for him. I couldn't imagine how tiring all this coughing must be.

The nurse put the end of the tube into Sana's mouth, and he started to breathe in the vapor. I felt every breath against my body, and I squeezed his side in love. A small smile curled the edges of his mouth.

The nurse was finishing washing her hands. "You'll be okay now. Call me if you need anything else. It's kind of quiet today, strange when there's a storm, but the hallway is quiet today."

"Okay, we will. Thank you so much." I bowed slightly, as much as I dared in this position.

She bowed, gave an assuring smile, and left. 

I looked at Sana. He seemed much more peaceful now. His eyes were still closed, like he was sleeping. I squeezed him to me again, trying to catch that smile. And there it was again, that tiny curling of his mouth. 

I sighed silently in relief. And then I remembered.

"Ah, Sana-chan. My darling. My mom is making katsudon tonight." I kissed his head gently, slowly. 

He sighed deeply, a smile on the edges of his lips now, a big one. The edges of his eyes upturned slightly. I found myself smiling, too. I kissed him again, and pressed my cheek to his head, my favorite pose.