A Simple walk was all Nicholas needed to calm his mind after the nightmarish night he had gone through. The enlightening conversation with Dr. McLenchy had helped calm the storm that had raged inside his mind. Now, however, after a night of barely any sleep, Nicholas was starting to feel extremely tired even as the sun neared the completion of its assent into the clear blue morning sky. He could stay up longer and get breakfast or continue his stroll around the deck, but he knew that fighting the sleep that hung over him would lead to a headache, and that was the last thing he wanted. He yawned as he slowly made his way back to his cabin. As Nicholas returned to his cabin, the walk back through the cool, crisp air helped clear his mind even though worries still lingered. The gentle sway of the ship provided a comforting rhythm as he returned to his cabin. Now alone in the cabin, he collapsed onto the bunk, his body exhausted but his mind actively turning over the conversation with Dr. McLenchy. It was comforting to know that what he felt had historical precedence, that it was nothing new under the sun and, perhaps, not something to be feared.

Laid there, he felt his eyes grow heavy. An hour or two would surely not hurt before going to breakfast. His mind returned to the conversations he had been through over the last few days. How Warm and inviting Sebastian had been, how friendly and amusing Conner had come across and how the doctor had managed to sway his nerves.  There was some comfort in knowing that this struggle was not new or unique to him. He wondered as he lay there just how many people had been in the situation he was in now and how many of them had suppressed their feelings. Of course, it would be the more straightforward thing to do, but Nicholas was growing tired of hiding himself. Titanic had unlocked doors for Nicholas that could now never be closed. 

Lulled by the rhythmic rocking of the ship, Nicholas drifted into a brief, uneasy sleep, his dreams a tangled weave of past conversations and hopeful futures. Dreams swirled around him like waves, carrying images of distant people and conversations that seemed just out of reach. When Nicholas awoke, the ship's gentle rocking felt more like a cradle than a cage, and his thoughts immediately turned to Sebastian. The memories of last night were now more apparent in his mind than before. He had to know how Sebastian felt and if he was okay. He had seemed fine when he bid goodbye to him last night, but Nicholas knew from personal experience that it was easy to put a façade on to mask your true feelings. He just had to hope that was not the case with Sebastian; if it was, he was unsure how to deal with it. 

Lost in his thoughts, the sudden knock at his cabin door made him jump, his heart racing. For a moment, he remained frozen, staring at the door as if it might open on its own to reveal whoever stood outside. Maybe it was his cabin mate; perhaps he forgot his key. There were a million and one people it could be, but sitting here would not give him the answer.  Gathering his wits, he stood up and walked over to the door; he took a deep breath before opening it.  The door opened to reveal Sebastian standing there with a tentative smile. "Good morning, Mr Goodwin. I hope I'm not intruding," he said. Relief washed over Nicholas at the sight of him, mixed with a surge of affection and nervousness. Yet something was off; Sebastian seemed to have returned to the formal self he was when they had first met. It was slightly off-putting, and Nicholas couldn't help but feel a twinge of confusion and concern. 

Nicholas stood awkwardly at his cabin door, watching Sebastian prepare to enter. He felt a twinge of confusion over Sebastian's formal demeanour. It was starkly different from the more intimate interaction they had last time. It left Nicholas uneasy, wondering if he had done the wrong and if the kiss was the wrong choice. He sighed and stepped aside to let Sebastian enter. As Sebastian stepped inside, his focus was entirely on the heater. He knelt, efficiently checking the connections and making adjustments with practised ease. Nicholas watched him work, the silence hanging heavily between them, punctuated only by the clinking of Sebastian's tools. His cabin mate had requested a steward to check it, for it seemed not to give out heat. That would explain to Nicholas why the room had felt colder recently. Not everything was working on Titanic as expected, though it was the ship's first voyage, so hiccups were expected.

"There was a loose wire in the heating element," Sebastian explained without looking up. "It's fixed now. Shouldn't give you any more trouble." His voice was devoid of its usual warmth, all business. At first, Nicholas was taken aback by how quickly Sebastian had fixed the heater. He wondered if there was anything these stewards could not do, but that wonder was soon replaced by annoyance. He understood it was Sebastian's job to be formal, but here, right now, they were alone, yet he seemed distant, even more than the first time they had met. It was like he was facing a brick wall before him. Sebastian stood up and dusted himself off; he looked at Nicholas and seemed ready to say something before moving to the door. Nichols looked at him in shock; Sebastian's coldness completely and utterly overtook him.  As Sebastian made to leave, something inside Nicholas snapped. The formal distance, the cold professionalism—it was too much. He stepped in front of the door, blocking Sebastian's exit. He had no idea if this was powered by confidence, anger or both. 

Sebastian stopped and looked into Nicholas's eyes; his warm twinkle was gone. Through gritted teeth, Sebastian responded. "Is there something else I can do for you, Mr Goodwin?" The response was like a dagger to the heart, like the last few days had never happened. Sebastian was nothing but a stranger to him; he was someone you would say hi to in passing, not someone you knew well.  "Why are you acting like nothing happened? We didn't share something meaningful?" Nicholas asked; the emotion in his voice was evident no matter how much he wanted to suppress it.  Sebastian's gaze shifted nervously around the room, tension building in the enclosed space. "Nicholas, I can't risk my job. I love this work; it's all I've ever known. I need to protect it at all costs." Sebastian's words cut through him like a knife as Nicholas attempted to make sense of it; he understood wanting to protect his job, but doing it this way? "And that means ignoring me completely? Pretending I don't exist?" Nicholas snapped back, his hurt surfacing. His anger was bubbling to the top.

Sebastian paused, his expression conflicted. After a moment, he sighed a deep, weary sound. "Nicholas, I'm not ignoring you," he began, his voice firm yet strained. "I have to protect my job. What we have... what we might have... it can't get in the way of that. I can't afford to lose my position here. You will get off this ship in New York and go on to live your own life. I won't be anyone's ship fling," the words stung like a thousand tiny stings stinging all at once. His understanding was replaced by anger; even if the words sounded logical, they ripped at his heart. Nicholas looked at him, but Sebastian avoided his gaze.  "And what about me? You haven't even given any thought to the future." Nicholas asked, his voice raw. "Where does that leave us?" There was a moment of silence as Sebastian shook his head, unable to meet Nicholas's gaze. "I don't know," he admitted softly. "But I need to protect my livelihood."

The words hit Nicholas like a wave, cold and stinging. He felt his breath catch in his throat, his heart pounding against his chest. He stepped back, his hand slipping from the door handle, his mind reeling. The gulf between them seemed more comprehensive than ever, filled with Sebastian's fears and the harsh demands of their reality. "I'm sorry, Nicholas. I truly am," Sebastian said, his voice softer now but still resolute. He stepped through the door, leaving Nicholas alone in his cabin. The door clicked shut, and Nicholas leaned against it, feeling a profound sense of isolation. The room felt colder despite the now-working heater. He slid down to the floor, his legs giving way under the weight of his emotions—betrayal, understanding, anger, and heartache mingling together. He wondered what he would do now as he took his head into his arms, praying the deck would swallow him whole. Isolation. The ship, once a symbol of new beginnings and adventure, now seemed nothing more than a gilded cage, its corridors echoing with the loneliness of his conflicted heart. `Needing solace, Nicholas wrapped himself in his coat and left the cabin, wandering through the ship, seeking a quiet corner to collect his thoughts. The Titanic's grandeur seemed a hollow backdrop now as he wrestled with his emotions, wondering if there was any way forward from here.