I thought that my suffering would end when it’s finally night and I could sleep in peace but oh, how wrong I had been. I had forgotten the fact that I am currently in a brothel and such place is more awake at night more than they are by day. I have never thought of my mother to be more shameless than she already was but she had proven to me how even more disgusting she really is when she took in a customer even with me here. Turns out this wasn’t a regular sleeping quarters, I should have known that by now since my mother is a whore. I got woken up late into the night when we heard knocking on the door as she ordered me to hid under the bed where she then tied me to one of its leg ordering me to stay put as she entertained a customer.

I had never had a night so dreadful than this at this birth. I could hear every sound they make as the bed creaks with their every move. My mother’s moaning and the man’s groaning, I was so repulsed by what I had witnessed that tears started falling from my eyes. This foul bitch, I wished to have slit her throat then. It felt like I was being pressured to escape from a war and a war it was. I didn’t mind being deaf and blind then, I could have been saved from such nightmare. It made me panic. I wanted to escape more than anything. I looked down at my hands where a cloth is tightly tied around it. I do not know what kind of knot she made but I gnaw on it as best as I could until I was finally able to release myself. I didn’t even noticed it had made my gum bleed but alas I was free! I quickly ran out of the door the moment I got up and fled. Even when I’ve met with my mother’s blaring eyes as she saw me escape.

The house was livelier as can be, the nosiest place in the village to the temple’s distraught. I hurried to escape to the nearest wall I could climb over but while doing so I got caught again.

“Oh my gods! You there, get down from there!”, a courtesan yelled when she saw me from her window. She knows I work here from the clothes I’m wearing. It seems that no matter how much I tried escaping today, I hadn’t succeeded even once.And  I know damn well whoever is purposely making me inconveniently caught and I hope that bastard would choke on his stupid veil.

I clicked my tongue and hoped I could climb over in time but my strength had failed me and the bitch already called some chore boys to drag me down. They then began on lecturing me and questioning things like whose brat I was and why was I trying to escape. I’m so pissed right now that I’d spit on their faces if I were their height.

“What’s with the commotion?”, an old voice came and it was the madame from across a terrace. The lady began ratting me out to her which garnered the attention of the other whores who weren’t entertaining. I simply stared at them. What are they going to do now?

“Oh it’s the pretty one, you poor thing. What are you doing out here?”. I was dumbfounded by her question for acting as if she was the most innocent old lady ever.

“Your shift must have been over hours ago”, the old hag chuckled in a seemingly loving voice as she puffed a smoke from her pipe and took my hand whilst conversing with the whore who caught me.

“You know being rowdy isn’t a good look for you, young’ne. So you better keep yourself in check if you want to get paid. And no bruises, it ruins beauty”, her tone changed but she still wore the smile as she led me somewhere. There was a threat in there as well.

I thought she would led me back to my mother’s room but instead I was taken somewhere different. “This is where the other children sleeps, from now on this your quarter as well”, she announced as she opened a door and gently pushed me in.

“As for the rest of you, why the hell are you still awake? You’ll slack off tomorrow when you don’t have enough sleep”,she suddenly glared at the other kids behind me and clicked her tongue before leaving.

“Tsk! More useless mouths to feed”, I heard her rumble.

An awkward silence followed as I turned to the others.

“Wow, you’re lucky you weren’t beat up”, one of them said but I ignored them and head straight to the cabinet where I know a spare futon is kept and laid it out on an empty space on the floor.

“The rumors are true. She really does have a soft spot for pretty people”, the only boy in the room commented.

“That’s because they sell more, genius”, a girl replied and throw a pillow at him. But what she said perked my interest.

“Excuse me but, how much more do they actually get paid?”,they all turned to me when I asked.

“Not sure. Hey, your mother’s pretty enough how much does she get paid? Mine’s only 7 silver coins”, the girl shrugged and looked over to the boy.

“Really it’s that low? My mom gets paid 3 times than yours then, about 10 silvers worth”

“Holy crap!”

“Imagine how much more worth that red head Auntie is, she’s the prettiest one here”

I was appalled to say the least. These children are discussing their mothers like some pieces at a meat shop, it’s normal conversation for them. And little did they know is that red head happens to be my mother, which got me thinking, she’s paid higher than the others---if not the highest paid courtesan here, then why the hell are we still dirt poor? With a salary higher than 10 silver coins, and who knows about the bonuses she gets from customers, I would have been able to live comfortably.

After some chatter the other children finally all agreed to sleep. They were wary of me so I didn’t bother being friendly after. Although there was still some loud music throughout the night I was finally able to sleep peacefully.

Two days had passed since then and I haven’t been with my mother. We exchanged glances and she would occasionally converse with me in the hallways but that was it. She was pleased of the fact that I couldn’t escape successfully that night. And while I am now here at her workplace, I’ve turned to observing her. My parents are strangers to me but I’d like to see what kind of person they are besides being shitty guardians. If there really is a gem hidden under all that rock.

But I have a job so I took whatever information I could. There’s nothing  unusual about her routine that I have found, yet. She’s simply living as she pleases to be. My mother never seemed to have gotten over being a teenager because to this age of hers today, she still acts like one. Most people are still shocked to find out that she has a kid even though she’s a prostitute. It’s that uncanny feeling one would get when they unconsciously don’t want a beauty to go against their expectations. And the gossip the kids have told were in fact true. She turned out to be the top prostitute here despite lacking talents. Not only that but she gets along with the madame the most, they often say she’s her favorite.

The last 2 days had been peaceful despite the load of work I had to do but at least it got my mind of things from constant worry. Although I do wonder if my tent was holding up alright after last night’s heavy rain. My scrapbook had better not been wet.

“Luna!”, I froze in my steps when I heard my mother’s voice and took a deep breath before turning to face her.

“It’s Lupa”, I corrected, clenching unto the tray I’m holding.

“Oh, you’re gonna love this news! The madame wants you to be the one serving our most distinguished guests!”, she announced excitedly and every other whore and chore kids who heard her gave us a nasty look.

“Thank you, mother”, that was all I had to say as I placed the tray on the table.

“There’s not much to do today so let’s go home and check on your father. We need to do our laundry too”, she giggled and fret as she tied the bag of laundry on my back. It’s not too heavy but it smells bad.

“Oh gosh, fix your hair”, she mumbled and  tuck some strand of hair behind my ear and took my hand as we walked.

I haven’t fully figured out the security system to this place yet but thanks to her taking me home, I finally did. Although there are no guards but there are plenty of whistle blowers in this place and the front gate is not reachable enough for my height, nor could I open it on my own because it’s heavy.

On our way out, she was greeted by many friends and men, mostly men. She seemed to be beloved around this area with tourists but not as much with the rest of the village folks. I’ve heard rumors that she has slept with every man here and only once with my father. Well, they don’t know how ‘loving’ they are when it’s only the two of them get together.

“So, how’s working a server girl? Not too bad right? You’re even helping me out now, I’m so proud of you”, she answered her own questions and met with her own expectation.

“Though, it’s not a fitting place for a child to be”, I haphazardly complained.

“Why not if it’s for helping your family? Back when I was young it was only me and my grandfather and I had to help this way too. Because of it I got to buy him medicine so if it wasn’t for my hard work I would’ve been left an orphan. It is the same for you as well, sweety. Mommy is only looking out for you”, she smiled at me but I found it disturbing how I could not comprehend her reasoning.

Clearly she had sold herself out way too young.

“How old were you when you first served a man?”

“Hmm…It’s been so long but I think it was back when I was 8”, it made me halt on my track. Her answer sent shivers down my spine and a tingle in my throat as if my saliva had been backed up. I’m reminded of the gross old men again.

“Did it hurt?”

“Of course it did, I was nervous as heck. But it only hurt the first time, you’ll grow into it.”, she simply laughed it off which made me raise an eyebrow. I do not care if you’re a bad parent but no child should have ever needed to experience that.

“You were simply a child, mother. What about all the threats that came with it?”

“There was nothing to be concerned of the first few years. I didn’t need to worry about getting pregnant until I first regulated”, she claimed which I found profoundly disgusting.

“Are you going to make me do that too?”, I tightened my grip on the bag. My mother sighed as I looked up at her and she squatted down to properly level with me.

“What other way is there? Besides you’re gonna grow up to look exactly like me anyway, if I were you I wouldn’t waste those looks. You’ll grow your voluptuous breasts like mine and use it against unsuspecting men then you’ll be set for life!”, she laughed as if victorious while perking up her chest. You didn’t really answer my question, you just gave up ridiculous excuses.

“Of course you don’t  need to do all that now, as of the moment, worry more on getting in good graces with the madame. She’ll pay you more than a silver coin if you do”, she pat my head and stood back up.

Sigh.This woman has a screw loose. How could she come up with such reasons as if they were the sanest logical approach? I do not understand her. Luckily she’s not an important character and isn’t under any god’s control otherwise I would be doomed to reason with her existence.

“We’re gonna have a nice family dinner tonight together with your father. Isn’t that exciting? I hope he’s home”, she squeezed my hand joyfully as she looked down on me. It was only then had I realized that we were now near our house already.

“Oh and it’s best not to mention your work with him. You know how he doesn’t approve of this”, she smiled as she fixed her hair. Come to think of it, this is probably the longest conversation I had with her and now I know I well never be able to come to terms with her. Her logic works differently.

“I agree with him”, I mumbled enough for her to hear. She looked at me and I stared back at her as I gave her a warm smile.

“I would rather die than become a whore”

I don’t know if it’s because of what I said or the way I smiled but my mother’s expression suddenly froze and instantly…

*SMACK!*

I was met with a hard slap across my face. It felt like the joints in my neck were stretched to the wrong angle.

“You ungrateful bitch”, I could hear her huff under her rough tone, her demeanour turning cold. And when I faced her, my nose had already bled. She looked down at me with fierce eyes and roughly wiped the blood off my nose with her thumb.

“I’m going to pretend like I didn’t just hear you insult your own mother but the next time you do, everyone’s going to find your lifeless body in that river”, she pointed to its direction.

“Now, finish that laundry and be back before sunset. And if you run away again, I’ll have your father break your leg this time.”, she threatened as she shoved me aside before walking towards the door.

I held unto my nose as I watched her fix dress, her hair, and sigh deeply before entering the house.

“Honey, I’m home!”, she called out and I heard my father gleefully respond to her arrival as he greeted her with a hug whilst lifting her up in the air.

They looked like a happy couple. Well, they are a happy couple. Just not happy parents. Oh, what must I do? My father wants me dead and be reborn as an honorable soldier while my mother wants me to become a whore for quick money. Like hell, I’d stick around long enough to find out which one I’d turned out to be.

I wiped the blood off my nose and walked away towards the hill. Before I do my chore, I figured I’d check on my tent first. Everything of  importance to me is there so I must make sure that it is safe.