April 13th, 1912. (11:05 AM)

Nicholas had wandered Titanic’s endless halls, wondering aimlessly after his confrontation with Sebastian. His anger stewed deep inside. His ability to understand Sebastian’s point of view was shrouded by his emotions. Seeing the happy couples and families wandering the ship, he felt bitter.  The last few days, he had been thrown upside down by a conversation that lasted less than five minutes. Today had not started well with his inability to sleep due to his overthinking mind, and it had only gotten worse; deep down, he prayed nothing else happened, for he was not sure he could take it today.  Nicholas stepped onto the boat deck, welcoming the bracing sea air that swept across the vast open space. The boat deck offered the most beautiful expansive view of the Atlantic, and the brisk sea breeze seemed to sweep away the claustrophobia of his tangled emotions. 

As he walked, his eyes absorbed the vastness of the ocean and the sleek lines of the Titanic cutting through the waves. He marvelled at the engineering marvel he was aboard, wondering about the immense power needed to propel such a massive structure across the water. He wondered how many people worked to keep her lights on,  prepare the food, and make her move.  Someone had taken a grand palace and placed her into the vast ocean.  Even in his current state of mind, the wonder of Titanic still dominates his mind. The engines had not stopped their rhythmic hum since the day they left Ireland. He wondered momentarily how he would sleep on land again without the constant feeling of Titanic’s never-stopping engines, which helped her plough headlong further west. He had overheard talk of the Titanic being the largest moving object. If true,  he genuinely participated in a crossing that would go down In history. 

He walked toward the bridge, curiosity guiding his steps. The engineering feat of the Titanic fascinated him—how could something so massive glide so gracefully and swiftly through the water? Lost in these thoughts, he barely noticed the presence of another person until a voice cut through his daydream. "Beautiful, isn't she?" said the first officer, William Murdoch, who had approached silently. He stood looking out to sea, his eyes reflecting pride and reverence for the vessel. Nicholas was taken aback by the sudden appearance of such a high-ranking man. Derring his many walks, Nicholas had overheard talk of Murdoch. It was not much, but from what he gathered, he was a lovely man dedicated to his duty. Just like Sebastian was.  Nicholas turned, a bit startled. "Oh, yes, she's incredible. I was just wondering how something this large could even move."

Murdoch moved to join Nicholas at the railing; Nicholas's eyes were fixated on the bow, which was full of different bits of equipment. Nicholas thought he could see an anchor, but he had no idea. On the other hand, Murdoch's eyes fixated on the ocean, watching as the bow crested through the waves with ease. Murdoch removed his hat and held it in between his arms. Murdoch smiled, pleased to discuss the workings of the ship he was so proud to serve "It's "It's all down to her engines," he began, gesturing towards the stern where the engines lay far below them. "Titanic is powered by two reciprocating steam engines and a central turbine engine. The reciprocating engines drive the two outer propellers, and the turbine, which is powered by the exhaust steam from the reciprocating engines, drives the centre prope" ler." Murdoch stopped and turned to make sure Nicholas was following. Truthfully, Nicholas was doing his best to understand, though engineering terms did somewhat pass over his head. Nevertheless, he nodded along.

"And the boilers?" Nicholas asked, recalling bits and pieces of overheard conversations from other passengers. "Ah, the boilers. We have twenty-nine boilers in total, spread over six rooms. They heat water to create steam, which then powers the engines.  It takes a lot of coal and hardworking stokers to keep her moving at the speed she does." Murdoch said, his tone conveyed his respect for the engineering marvel the Titanic represented and the crew that laboured tirelessly below deck. "At full power, she can move at about 23 knots. That's quite fast for a ship of this size." Nicholas nodded, his previous awe of the Titanic deepening with his newfound understanding of her inner workings. "Say, Lad, what brings a young man like yourself to America?" Murdoch inquired as he placed his hat back on his head.  Nicholas hesitated; the question dragged him back into reality and away from his wonder of the Titanic. For the first time in three days, reality came knocking.  Life would go on beyond Titanic. 

"Well, my family moved to america a while ago; I am traveling to be with them. I'm considering studying law... but lately, I've been feeling uncertain about everything," Nicholas admitted. He had felt unsure about things, but this was a new level of uncertainty.  Truthfully, it scared him. Murdoch nodded, his expression understanding. "Aye, lad, It's natural to feel uncertain. Big changes bring big challenges. But they also bring opportunities. America is a land of possibilities. It can be overwhelming, but it's also a place to find your footing and make a mark." Nicholas nodded; his words created a soft blanket that eased his doubt. Murdoch continued, "When I first started at sea, I was uncertain, too. I didn't know if I could handle the responsibilities and the pressures. But each voyage taught me something new about the world and myself. You'll find that's also true for you," Murdoch's. Words were measured and aimed at providing comfort without dismissing the real anxieties Nicholas faced. Nicholas smiled, feeling better than he had before. 

Feeling a weight lifting from his shoulders, Nicholas smiled back. "I'll try to keep that in mind. It's just a bit daunting, thinking about all the 'what ifs.'" Murdoch clapped him gently on the shoulder. "It's all right to have 'what ifs.' Don't let them stop you from making the 'what can be' a reality. You're embarking on a great adventure, Lad. Embrace it." the words rung in Nicholas's mind: embrace it. His mind turned to Sebastian again, but he forced it out. He would not think about him after their argument in his cabin. He refused to think about him. He had made his thoughts very clear, and Nicholas would no longer get in the way of his job. Nicholas forced himself to focus on the current conversation.  Nicholas felt a weight lift off his shoulders as he listened to Murdoch's reassuring words. It was the encouragement he needed, a reminder that his quest was valid, that his journey was beginning. Nicholas glanced towards the bridge as another question formed in his mind.  "When do you think we will reach New York, sir?".Nicholas had not thought about their arrival for some time, but now it made its way to the forefront of his mind.

"We're due to arrive the morning of April 17th if the weather holds and all goes as planned," Murdoch replied, checking his pocket watch. "Thank you, Officer Murdoch. I hope the rest of our voyage is as smooth as today," Nicholas said, extending his hand. Murdoch shook it firmly, respectfully acknowledging the young man's struggles and aspirations. "I'm sure it will be. Take care, lad, and good luck in America." With a final nod, Nicholas turned and walked away, feeling more at peace than he had since boarding the ship. The conversation not only provided a distraction but also rekindled his excitement about the opportunities ahead in New York. As the wind tugged at his coat, Nicholas felt ready to face whatever challenges came next, his heart lighter and his path more transparent.