The silver hair of their tail puffed as CC followed Alice’s lead, slamming the flat of their palms against the table. “Does Mad know you plan on leaving? Does he know you plan on breaking his heart again!?”

“CC!” March gasped.

“You belong here in Wonderland with us. Quit being so stupid.” CC screamed.

“Okay, whoa, please you two need to calm down.” March stood up, pausing to lend a passive hand.

“Shut up!” Both voices echoed in unison.

Sighing, March’s his ears dropped with the fall of his breath. “Listen, I know this is a lot to handle, but Alice is right. It might be better for all of us, especially Mad. I know it’s a lot to think over, but she’ll have to do what’s best for her CC.”

Tension heavy like sludge with slick tendrils reached and strangled the trio, the pressure of the conversation gripped their throats. Alice didn’t know what else to say. Frustrations filled with uncertainty pulled at her skin, prickling her fingertips up to her arms with pins and needles.

“Well, you two seem to have it all figured out then, don’t you?” CC retorted, breaking the silence. “So, you better leave sooner rather than later, right? I mean, even though you don’t know where to go. But it’s okay, you know, for Mad’s sake. Though, I guess you wouldn’t know Alice, that he was a mess after you left. But March should know better since we were left to pick up the pieces.”

“CC that’s enough!” March was stern.

“Oh, Fuck off CC! What about me? What about what’s best for me?” her eyes cast down over her supposed friend. The person who raised her. The person who had always protected her, now sat across from her berating her. Throwing one gut punch after another.

“Wow,” CC trilled, rolling the word, embedding it with heavy judgement. “Have you always been so selfish? I know I didn’t raise you to be that way. It must be how you grew up with the mortals you love so much.”

“Okay, okay listen you two both need to calm down please. Just cool down before saying something you both regret.” March soothed.

“Oh! Shut the fuck up March, this is your fault too.” Alice snapped; his presence evaporated the last drop of reserve she had left. “I don’t need to deal with this.” Alice pushed herself away from the table, the dizziness caught up with her as she stormed off. Regretfully reducing her dramatic exit to something rather comical; the weight of alcohol pulled on her legs. Uncoordinated, she stomped away.

The cool night air barely touched the searing flames of her cheeks stained a bright, beat crimson. She stumbled into the home, stopping herself from slamming it shut. She didn’t want to alert Mad, who was unaware of the fighting outside. A heavy sigh separated her lips as she rubbed her palms into her eyes. Giving them enough pressure to cause fireworks to cross her vision. The words CC had accosted her with bruised her mind. Especially the ones about Mad.

Of course it was hard for him. A mess. Pieces.

She knew he must have struggled. He was partly the reason she was so desperate to come back, but he was also the reason she left.

I have to pee. Alice thought to herself as everything rattled around in her mind. She was cornered like a rat, playing a game of cat and mouse between the three of them. Forced to decide when she didn’t even know what was or wasn’t possible. What’s best for her and what's best for everyone.

Why did she even come back to Wonderland after all this time? She paused, retracing her memory, darkness; nothing. She had gone to bed the night before like usual and woke up in Wonderland. Laying in the dew-soaked grass, her sweater torn, her shoe was missing, and dirt clung to her hair. Obviously, something happened to her between darkness and waking, but the memories were non-existent. 

Swiftly thrown into a wild reunion with Mad, she hadn’t even had a moment to process how she had gotten back in the first place. A surge of emotions crashed into her skull, the pounding of her heart and a new wave of nausea took effect. She ran over to the bathroom in an attempt to catch any vomit that may have spilled over.

As she approached the hallway, a glimmer of light shone through the crack of a door just barely left open. An occupied space she needed desperate access to. She went to knock but an ill-placed chill ran up her back, beckoning her to stop.

She held her fist to the door, frozen and against her better judgment she stood there, peaking at just the right angle to catch Mad’s reflection in the mirror. A sharp shudder pin pricked her skin. A sense of foreboding in the form of insects raced across her body. Rushing with the upheaval of her stomach she managed to swallow the sensation, forming a cold sweat that dripped down her back.

Standing in front of the mirror, Mad lifted himself from the sink. Topless, his warm beige skin, golden from the sun, glistened from the water he used to wipe off his sweat. His slender frame leaned over the sink as he filled the cup of his hands and splashed it across his face. Alice flushed as her eyes honed onto each bead that clung to his muscles. She had forgotten how beautiful she found his body to be. His shoulder blades jutted out just enough, his back was strong yet lean, and his waist tapered in at all the right angles. Strong, natural made muscles; sharp yet elegantly beautiful, accentuated by long, enchanted limbs.

She continued to stare, lost in his body, fixating on the bits of his spine just budding across his skin. A unique aspect to his anatomy that made him different from mortal men. Small, dark little lumps, of other-worldly tissue. Jelly-like bumps no larger than a coin. She remembered running her fingers over them after they were intimate long ago; pieces of his body that he would turn away from, distract her with his own touches.

She wanted to turn away, shame scolded her brain. A pervert, no-better-than-a man. She couldn’t be caught, not by him. She wouldn’t live it down for the rest of her life. Caught, lusting over his body, Mad would tease her relentlessly. Yet, she hesitated. Something was off, a glimmer of something she didn’t want to recognize caught her eye. The soft light bounded off the lamp, reflecting in the mirror, causing something to sparkle as Mad picked it up off the basin. Her curiosity held her still. Catching her breath, she leaned in ever so slightly, conscious to keep her feet still, preventing the floorboards from screaming her presence.

Alice watched as he lifted the metal object in front of his face. His eyes stilled, observing the liquid inside as it danced and shimmered in the light provided by the vanity. He gingerly held an old-fashioned injection needle; the liquid within was transparent, with a hint of sickly green. Alice clasped her hands over her mouth as she pieced the scene together.

Mad used the end of his belt, creating a tourniquet to wrap around his arm. He held it tight between gritting teeth. Slowly, he jabbed the needle into his forearm and pushed that sickly green into his veins. She watched as he threw his head back with a deep moan. Washed with concern that he was pained; she was tempted to move towards him. But the expression in his reflection showed pure—unimaginable bliss.

She recognized that expression. That face. That euphoria of escape.

A loud piercing whistle from the tea kettle screamed its brew ready, shattering the silence, causing her to jump from her skin. Mad looked over but she had already turned and escaped.

Alice rushed from the house, fleeing with silent urgency.

Drugs, of all thing’s drugs. She couldn’t imagine why Mad would-be using drugs! Is it the same as back home? Like tea, was it perhaps different? She wasn’t sure, but that expression looked the same, that she recognized. Her mind was reeling, a mess over the discovery, she needed answers, and she needed them quickly.

March and CC were deep in conversation with one another, the words Alice could not decipher; they no longer mattered. She slammed her hands down onto the table between the two, a harsh whisper pressed her lips, “What’s going on with Mad?!”

The two looked at her perplexed.

“I just saw him shooting up. Is he on drugs?! Has he always been?!” Whispering, hiding her voice from Mad, she breathed her concerns, making her voice hoarse, worried Mad would come bouncing out and overhear her discovery. She lowered her voice, taking it as far as it could go, practically voiceless, the anger silencing her breath.

“Yes,” CC muttered in unison with March who nervously answered the opposite, “No.”

“Which one is it!?” Alice yelled. Lowering her voice again, “Look, I know what shooting up looks like. Tell. Me. The. Truth. Does he need help? Should we be doing something?”

March held his tongue, and CC was at a loss for an explanation. March relented with a sigh, “Yes, but look, it’s medicine. He needs it.”

“It’s nothing to worry about. Please, just don’t bring it up. He doesn’t like talking about it.” CC finally found the words.

Alice’s expression screamed, twisted lips pinched her nose, “He’s self-conscious about it? If it’s just medicine, why would he be?” Alice threw her arms up, catching her fingers in her hair, rustling it in frustration as her brain traveled a mile a minute. “That did not look like someone just taking medicine. Please I’m not dumb and naive anymore. Has he always been using?”

“Please stop. You don’t understand.”  CC began to protest, doing their best to calm down the irate woman.

“Don’t you dare. I understand completely. Oh god, it all makes sense now. His erratic behavior, his whole personality, the spontaneity. Has he always been using? He’s in there getting high, and I’ve never noticed.”  Alice paused briefly just enough to catch her breath between thoughts. “We can’t let this go on; I’m not going to lose another person to drugs.”

“Okay, please. You need to calm down.” March took a turn trying to reassure the panicked girl, “Why is this affecting you so much?”

“Why isn’t it affecting you!? Why are you two enabling this? Are drugs not a thing here? Are there no side effects that will hurt him?” Alice calmed just enough to consider an alternative.

“Well, no, not entirely. He knows the risks, and he needs this to just get by. Alice please, you can’t let him know you know. It’ll destroy him.” CC answered, patience waning. Alice’s anger began to fuel their own.

“What are the risks? Maybe this is a good thing that I found out. Maybe he’s ready for a reality check.” Alice pushed off the table and paced, taking the hangnails to her lips and peeling them between her teeth. She couldn’t help but picture her parents, what she went through every time they shot up. Her mind was lost in those memories. The image of finding her mom dead on the bed, needle still in her arm. Rationally, she knew Wonderland was different. Mad couldn’t die, not here, not in Wonderland, not like this. But she knew this wasn’t good for him. The other two’s reaction all but confirmed that. She paused and looked over at March, two and two connecting finally.

“March, did that night—?” Alice began, and a look of panic washed across his face confirmed the pieces Alice had just puzzled together.

“I’ve come back bearing snacks, gifts and tea everyone!” Mad kicked open the front door and sang his excitement as he balanced a plate of various foods on a precarious stack of teacups on a tray.

“I got it!” March exclaimed and ran over to help Mad with his balancing act, escaping the heated moment.

“Mad, we need to talk!” Alice screamed but it went unheard as Mad and March struggled with the tray. CC grabbed her forearm preventing her from moving forward. Their hand was cold with sweat as it gripped her fiery skin.

“Please, not right now. I’m begging you. It’s been many eclipses since I’ve seen him this happy. We can talk later please. I promise I’ll tell you everything.” CC looked up at Alice, their eyes clouded with tears. A pleading expression plastered across their face.

“Why should I believe you right now? The way you’ve been bitching at me all night, how do I trust you?” Alice said, feeling the weight of her anger slough itself from her skin. CC held tight; their hands were shaking. It wasn’t like her friend who was ruthless and mean to look so anxious and worried. Maybe Alice was the one overreacting after all?

“Okay, okay I know I’m not being a great friend right now, but please trust March at least. Please. For Mad’s sake.” CC pleaded.

“Fine,” Alice paused and sat back down at the table. “But I still want to know what’s going on with him.”

Mad approached the table, holding a more manageable load of items, March followed from behind with the rest. “Here you go,” Mad said with a smile. “And just for you, extra sweet the way you like it. I also didn’t brew it as strong; it might be more used to what you have back home.”

Alice took the cup from his hand and smiled. She looked deeply into his eyes; suspicion now evident in her gaze. They were glossed and glazed, like marble. They glistened and reflective, the vibrant green illuminated ever more by the magical lights that cast their rays.

A familiar, nostalgic glow, a gaze so full of love. They were as they’ve always been.

“Hey, Sugar Cube!” Mad grabbed a hold of Alice’s shoulders in excitement.

Alice watched him, recognizing that he was acting the same as she remembered. Chaotic, loose, and energetic. Was this the real him, or was this the drugs? Without fully knowing what he was on, she didn’t know.

He began pouring from the tea kettle into four different cups. The tea spilled out over the rims but did not fall over onto the floor. The tea bubbled up and shook as it took form over the set and formed the shape of an elephant, its head was the tea kettle, its feet were the cups, its body made of amber liquid. The tea shaped animal began to dance and jump over the table. The liquid splashed but always returned to the form like it was pulled in by gravity.

“It’s a Tea-lephant!” Mad announced opening his arms open wide at the spectacle. “Grab a cup and it’ll give you some tea!” He grabbed an extra cup and held it up to gather the drink. He instead got splashed in the face from the faux trunk made of that warm amber liquid.

March, CC and Alice all laughed as they got up to interact with the strange new creature. They all hooted and cheered, but a pit still rested heavily in Alice’s stomach; she couldn’t help but worry. She’d never seen him act ill, or sick, or like he was in any pain at all. She didn’t know what March and CC meant that he needed it. With these new revelations, it felt as if everything she knew about Mad felt fake. Did she ever even know him? She had spent so much of her life with him, but she didn’t know him at all. 

She wanted to get to the bottom of it. But tonight wasn’t the night. “Elephan-tea is a better name for it.” Alice noted as the tea creature stood on its back feet, arms, and trunk in the air, spitting tea up like a water fountain.

“Oh, that’s much better!” Mad exclaimed with excitement and continued to cheer for the tea.