LUCAS

Binks was kind of adorable.

They had been emailing all week, and still, there was so much to learn around every corner. Each time Binks opened up felt like a small victory, and Lucas hadn’t even thought about his own complicated mess of feelings since the first GSA meeting.

So, the emailing was helping him out, too.

Being curious about Binks’s identity was a much-needed distraction, and questions swirled in Lucas’ head at each passing moment.

He wished Binks could’ve attended the GSA meeting. Maybe he’d feel more comfortable and supported. But Binks said it was too risky to be in the GSA, that his dad was homophobic, and if he found out, he could get in trouble, which Lucas found absolutely ridiculous, by the way.

The queer community has made so much progress in the past decade. It irked him that parents could be so… unaccepting. He was lucky with his own family. They were very accepting. They had even added an extensive LGBTQ section to Sawyer’s Reading Nook after Lucas came out and declared themselves a safe space for LGBTQ youth.

Lucas had told all of this to Binks, even invited the boy to come to the café, but Binks had, of course, refused.

One day, though, he would get Binks to open up.

To: charcharbinks@gmail.com

From: luckyinlove666@gmail.com

Subject: Cafe

Binks,

Are you sure you don’t want to come to check out our place? We’re having this book signing by a local queer author, and I think you should come. You’d like it! It’s a low-key event, and you don’t even have to know the author to come. He’s going to talk about his latest book, which is a trans love story! It’s going to be great; I hope you come.

Respectfully Yours,

Lucky

To: luckyinlove666@gmail.com

From: charcharbinks@gmail.com

Re: Cafe

Lucky,

I can’t. But thank you for inviting me. I do appreciate it, even if I always say no.

Respectfully Yours,

Binks

To: charcharbinks@gmail.com

From: luckyinlove666@gmail.com

Re: Cafe

Binks,

Okay. Just think about it. You are allowed to change your mind.

Respectfully Yours,

Lucky

Lucas’ shoulders slumped at yet another failed attempt to woo Binks into coming to the café. The two of them talked and talked, but Lucas still couldn’t get Binks to reveal himself. Or give any helpful information. He had hoped that Binks would be more carefree as they got closer, but Lucas had never met someone more… uptight.

He sighed and poked at the remains of his dinner, his parents exchanging a look over the table.

It was his mother, Evelyn, who broke the silence first. Well, not true silence because the twins were screaming and tossing peas at each other, but that was silent for their house. His mother cleared her throat. “Lucky… You’ve been looking at your phone an awfully long time.”

“And sighing,” Stewart added helpfully.

Lucas’ head snapped up. He blushed and looked away, unable to meet the hazel of his mother’s eyes. “Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Dad. I–I have this friend who is going through a tough time, and I don’t know how to help him.”

His parents exchanged looks again. His mother nodded, responding to some secret, wordless conversation his parents had, and turned back to Lucas. “What kind of rough time?”

Lucas bit his lip, unsure of how much information to give. But it wasn’t like his parents knew Binks, and it wasn’t like Lucas knew Binks, so it was probably okay. “Well, he’s… He’s in the closet, I guess. And from what I’ve heard, his father isn’t exactly… accepting. He’s scared to come out, and I’ve been trying to guide him.”

Another shared look. “And what is your friend’s name?” His father jumped in. “Perhaps he could come to the store? We have that signing coming up. It would be good for him to get a feeling of community.”

Lucas pursed his lips. “I, um, I invited him. But he said no. Too risky.”

“And his name?”

“I…” Lucas paused, unsure of how to continue. “He goes by Binks.”

“Binks?” His mother furrowed her brow. “That’s… unusual. Is it short for something?”

Lucas shrugged, wanting to move on from the topic quickly. “I don’t know. Haven’t asked.” He lied.

“Okay, well, Binks is welcome here anytime. And, of course, in the store. You make sure to tell him that.” His dad returned to his food, and Lucas was relieved that the conversation died.

“I will, Dad. Thanks.”

It wasn’t until Lucas was safe in his bedroom that he emailed Binks again. It wasn’t like his parents would look over his shoulder or anything, but part of him felt like he would have more luck convincing Binks to find community himself without the help of the peanut gallery.

To: charcharbinks@gmail.com

From: luckyinlove666@gmail.com

Subject: Welcome

Binks,

I know you don’t want to show yourself to me, and that’s ok, but I wanted you to know that my parents said you’re welcome in the store any time. You don’t even have to tell us it’s you; just come check it out.

Respectfully Yours,

Lucky

To: luckyinlove666@gmail.com

From: charcharbinks@gmail.com

Re: Welcome

Lucky,

You told your parents about me? Do they know I’m gay? Do they know I like you? Why did you tell them?

Respectfully Yours,

Binks

Lucas practically kicked himself. He should have known better. He should have asked where the lines were. Binks trusted him with his crush—his sexuality, his secret. And there Lucas was, blabbing away about it to anyone who would listen. His breath caught in his throat, and he hoped that he hadn’t just scared Binks away as he hastily typed out a reply.

To: charcharbinks@gmail.com

From: luckyinlove666@gmail.com

Re: Welcome

Binks,

I did, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you weren’t okay with telling people even if I kept you anonymous. They know you’re gay, but not that you like me. Which, by the way, still? I thought I would have scared you off by now.

I’m sorry I told them, but I would have kept you anonymous even if I did know who you were. So, don’t worry, your secret is safe.

Respectfully Yours,

Lucky

To: luckyinlove666@gmail.com

From: charcharbinks@gmail.com

Re: Welcome

Lucky,

Please don’t tell anyone else. I can’t risk it getting out… you know it’s dangerous for me.

And yes, Lucas, I still like you. You can’t scare me off that easily.

But does anyone else know?

Respectfully Yours,

Binks

Lucas’ shoulders relaxed as he read the email. Yes, Lucas, I still like you. It should have made Lucas feel weird—after all, it wasn’t like they were dating. They were friends. And yet, those words brought a smile to Lucas’ face.

Binks would forgive him.

He wasn’t going to lose the relationship.

To: charcharbinks@gmail.com

From: luckyinlove666@gmail.com

Re: Welcome

Binks,

My friends know I’m emailing someone, but they don’t know much beyond that. I don’t think they saw your emails to the club either. You’re safe with me, Binks. I promise. I know it’s dangerous for you, but I don’t know why. You mentioned your dad, but you never talk about him. Why is that?

Respectfully Yours,

Lucky

To: luckyinlove666@gmail.com

From: charcharbinks@gmail.com

Re: Welcome

Lucky,

Thank you for telling me. I don’t want there to be secrets between us…well, besides the obvious.

And there’s a reason I don’t talk about my dad. I don’t want to burden you with that. So, don’t worry, okay?

Respectfully Yours,

Binks

That didn’t sound good. Lucas frowned, reading the email again and again as he tried to figure out a reply. There was so much mystery surrounding Binks’s father—and Lucas was starting to worry that there was more going on than your average, run-of-the-mill homophobia. But he had already pushed his luck enough by telling his parents about the emails, so he couldn’t risk prying anymore.

To: charcharbinks@gmail.com

From: luckyinlove666@gmail.com

Re: Welcome

Binks,

Okay, I won’t pry. But will you come to the store?

Respectfully Yours,

Lucky

To: luckyinlove666@gmail.com

From: charcharbinks@gmail.com

Re: Welcome

Lucky,

I’ll think about it.

Respectfully Yours,

Binks