Natsu’s legs felt like they were made of rubber as he made his way through the gardens, going deeper in, his footsteps quiet in the darkness. He knew these pathways like the back of his hand. He hadn’t just explored them with Toji and the rest of the family, he’d done so on his own time as well. The Helmans weren’t around all the time, gone for long stretches of time, so he had to find other ways to occupy himself during his downtime. Exploring the gardens was one way to do so. 

He wound his way around one hedge wall, down a curving path that led to an open courtyard with a fountain in the middle. It was overgrown and crumbling, forgotten and abandoned. It was the perfect place to be alone.

He swallowed as he looked around, his eyes catching every shadow and shapeless figure in the dark. “Toji?” he called out softly, hesitantly. He took a few steps further in, keeping his eyes moving. It may be a secluded area but that didn’t mean he could let his guard down. “Toji?” he called again, a little louder. “Are you here?”

He huddled in his hoodie, the night air chill against his exposed skin, the breeze lifting his hair off his forehead. It was still early summer, so the nights weren’t as warm quite yet. Not that it had ever mattered in the past…Toji’s body was warm enough.

“Toj—”

A hand reached out and pulled him toward the hedge wall and around to the dark path behind it. Before Natsu could even think to breathe, Toji’s hands were holding his face, his lips pressing hard against his own. Natsu’s arms wrapped around his neck as he stood on tiptoe, returning the kiss with as much fervor as Toji gave.

Toji’s arms went around his waist, holding Natsu tight against him, reeling with barely suppressed joy at the feel of his body in his arms once again, the taste of his mouth, the press of his tongue, the heat of his breath as he kissed Natsu, long and passionately. He felt like he had been starving for months and Natsu was the meal that would save his life. He breathed him in, devoured him as he moved his mouth down the curve of his neck, pulling back Natsu’s hoodie to expose his shoulder where he nipped at the soft flesh.

Natsu’s head fell back with a soft moan, his arousal straining against his jeans. He could feel Toji hard against him and he wanted to reach into the waistband of Toji’s jeans and grip him tightly in his hand. Before he could, Toji clasped his hand, entwining their fingers together at their sides as his kisses slowed, his arm wrapped tightly around Natsu, his face buried in his neck.

They stood that way for several long moments, Natsu’s tears coursing silently down his face.

“I missed you,” Toji whispered into his skin, fighting against the swell of his own tears. “I missed you so fucking much, Natsu.”

Natsu’s skin prickled at the tickle of Toji’s breath. He tightened his grip around Toji’s neck. “I missed you, too,” he replied, his voice cracking.

Toji held him tighter, not wanting to let him go. It had been way too long and having to hold himself back from grabbing Natsu to him the entire day had been an exercise in discipline and patience. At dinner, especially, he felt real physical pain from the effort he needed to restrain himself.

“You could have called,” Toji said, only half-joking. There was no way either of them could contact each other. Hero had made sure of that.

“No, I couldn’t and you know that.” Natsu sniffed back more tears as Toji loosened his grip enough to finally look him in the eye, his blue and red gaze floating over his features. He wiped away Natsu’s tears, kissing his eyes one at a time. “Why didn’t you acknowledge me in the garden?” he asked, trying hard to stop his chin from trembling.

Toji shook his head. “I wanted to, I really did.” He swallowed. “Natsu, you have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting to have you in my arms. If I had said anything to you, I would have put us both at risk by doing something incredibly reckless.”

“Like what?”

“Kissing you in front of everyone, for a start.”

Natsu blushed. “Well, yeah, there’s that,” he said. “Still hurt a little, though. I mean, I get it, everything about us has to be a secret, but that doesn’t mean we’re not friends outside of this.”

“I know,” Toji said, rubbing the back of his neck. He leaned against the wall, pulling Natsu to him. He sighed and ran a finger through Natsu’s hair and around his ear. His expression tensed. “They’re starting to suspect something.”

Natsu tensed. “How? We’ve been careful for years.”

“They know, or at least they believe I have a crush on you. I play the game, argue and deny, blush and all that shit, but I can’t seem to convince them otherwise.”

Natsu shrugged. “So you have a crush on me, so what? If that’s what they want to believe, let them. Eventually they’ll move on and find something else to harass you about.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Toji said. “Though it may get harder to hide if I decide to bring you out with me over the summer.”

Natsu gave him a look. “I’ve hung out with you guys plenty of times. What makes this time different?”

Toji averted his gaze. “It just is.”

Natsu stepped back a little, his hands sliding down to Toji’s chest. “Is this about Ava?”

Toji froze. “No.”

“Toji—”

“Natsu, if you care about me at all, you won’t bring it up again, okay?”

Natsu swallowed. He nodded, gripping the front of Toji’s shirt. Benefit to being a god, inability to feel the cold.

“This year has been absolute shit, Natsu. I know I hurt her, and I’m still sorry I did. But what she did…” He closed his eyes, fighting the resentment and the hurt he had been holding on to for so long. He didn’t want to talk about it. It was over…he was here… “Natsu, none of it was your fault. Not one bit of it.”

“I never implied that it was.” Natsu drew closer, kissing the hollow at the base of Toji’s throat. He both loved and hated how much taller Toji was than him. At around five-foot-five, he still had to stand on tiptoe to kiss Toji, to embrace him. However, what he loved was that Toji could pick him up and hold him against a wall if he wanted to.

Toji shivered, his hands going under Natsu’s hoodie and shirt. “Can we never talk about her again, please? Especially when you do that?”

“Do what?” Natsu murmured against his throat, the tip of his tongue tracing a line up to his chin before kissing it. 

“Get me horny in the middle of my backyard,” Toji breathed, his voice hoarse. 

“I’ve been waiting eleven months to have my way with you,” Natsu growled, biting his ear. “Are you really going to deny me right now? You said yourself you’ve been aching for me, right?”

Toji groaned, his head falling to Natsu’s shoulder as his fingers traced grooves down his back, Natsu moaning in response. 

“Please,” Natsu begged. “I want you so badly, Toji. Please take me.”

Toji’s hands wrapped around Natsu’s slender body, his thumbs finding his nipples. “Before I do,” he said, nipping at his earlobe. “Did you keep your promise?”

“Yes,” Natsu breathed, his body beginning to grow hot under Toji’s touch. 

“There hasn’t been anyone else?” His hand curled back around, going down the back of Natsu’s pants, his fingers sliding along the crease to Natsu’s most sensitive areas.

Natsu shook his head. “No one.”

“Say it,” Toji commanded, his middle finger rotating around Natsu’s hole, making his knees weak with desire.

“I’m yours,” Natsu whimpered. “I belong just to you.” He cried out as Toji’s finger went inside him, moving slowly in and out.

“Good,” Toji whispered, his teeth going to Natsu’s throat. “How thick should I make the barrier, hm?”

Natsu pressed himself hard against Toji, his leg lifting against Toji’s thigh as he ground himself against him.

Toji chuckled devilishly. “That thick, huh? If you say so.”