Lessons

Sitting alone in my room while listening to some anime characters talking wildly in Japanese about preparing to fight. Oh yes, I love the overdramatized excitement and emotion in their voices. It makes me want to power up, myself. Their speaking makes me strangely happy and reminds me of when we visit Jiji and Baba. Mom says that her parents only know a little English, so I always end up trying to teach them a word or two. This makes them happy. Most of the time, poor dad must wait for a translation from either mom or me.

Even with the volume up loud, the sound of the front door opening creaks past the sound of the characters powering up. With my ears, attention, and curiosity tweaked in that direction, I mute the television and try to listen for anything said. 

Mom’s cheery voice is muted by the walls, but I can tell that she is greeting the visitor. Another sunny voice, slightly higher in pitch than mother’s excitedly responds. I can’t quite make out what she says. Wait, was that my name? Then mom says it. I hear the two sets of footsteps coming down the hall toward my bedroom. 

Sitting up on the edge of my bed, I look towards the closed bedroom door. They turn the corner into the short hallway leading to my bedroom and Mom’s studio. Then they turn left and face my door. The suspense rockets up my spine.

Quiet knocking.

“Erika, sweetie. Are you awake?” The knob turns and the door slowly opens. 

With piqued curiosity, I reply, “Hi Mom!” 

“Erika dear, this is Ms. Sally. Remember how we’ve been talking about getting you teachers? Ms. Sally is going to see what you can do and then assign good teachers for you.”

Keeping a respectful posture, the curiosity is eaten away by a feeling that gnaws at my stomach. 

Ms. Sally’s more interesting voice chimes in, “Hello Erika, I am glad to finally get to meet you. Your mother tells me that you like to paint.”

I overheard mom and dad talking about this, getting a teacher to make me leave my room. No thanks, I’m just fine in here. I’m not taking another spill down those stairs. No way. Feeling the weight of her words press in, her voice is pleasant, but her presence here scares me. Unable to say anything in return, I smile and nod while hoping my face does not portray anything that would make mom upset with me. 

Mother says, “I will leave you two to get acquainted.” She leaves and goes across the hall to her studio, but still in earshot. 

Ms. Sally pipes up, “I see you are watching some anime. We have a teacher who could teach you to speak Japanese if you like.”

Still shying away, I don’t need help with that. I can already do that.

Continuing regardless of my shyness, “But first I need to see how well you can walk. Can you show me?”

Duh, of course I can walk. Just because I want to stay in my room doesn’t mean I can’t walk. Sliding from the bed and standing like normal, I look in her direction. “Where do you want me to go?” 

“That other door, the one I am not standing by.”

You want me to go to the bathroom? 

“...Walk to that door and then to me.”

 Replying, “Yes Ma'am,” while easily following the memorized path with no problems. 

I can tell by the elevated sound of her voice that she is authentically pleased, “Very good, can you get around the rest of the house that easily?”

Feeling less threatened by the stranger, “Yes Ma'am.” 

“Wonderful. What about outside of the house? Like when you go places with your parents.”

“Uhm, no…” Come to think of it. I never really have. Outside of the house, I went from a stroller to a wagon, or instead, holding their hands. But never have I walked alone. 

“I think that would be a wonderful first lesson for you. We will help you be more comfortable moving in unknown areas by teaching you how to use a cane.”

An uncontrollable force makes me shy away again, “A cane? Uhm… No… No thank you.”

Ms. Sally reassures, “Don’t be afraid. There is a lot to do in this world and we will help you learn the skills to take part. One step at a time. But first, we will get you that cane.”

When Ms. Sally returns the next day, she presents me with a cane. The handle is comfortable in my hand and the cane itself is long and narrow. There is a strange marshmallow-shaped bit at the end which makes me thirsty for cocoa.

Ms. Sally tells me that the tip rolls side to side. She then guides me through the sweeping motion to determine if the surface in front of me is stable, and to also detect obstacles. I’m to step forward with one foot and swipe the cane in the opposite direction. She tells me that with time and practice I will become much faster able to determine through the sound and feel of the vibrations which type of surface I am on. 

Even though I can navigate my bedroom with ease, Ms. Sally has me tour here first so that I can better learn the already familiar territory and how the objects in the room feel through the cane. Ms. Sally leaves for the day after she assigns my homework. “When I come tomorrow, I want you to have explored the rest of the house using the cane.”

After exploring to the end of the carpeted hallway and reaching the marble, the fear of the steps overwhelms me. After standing motionless with the cane in front of me, something inside urges me forward and subdues the fear enough to act.