Astrid opened the door to my room to reveal a solid wall. They had turned it into a prison. Panicking, I stepped inside to see that the second window had also been cemented over.

“Why did you do that?”

“For your safety and those around you.” Astrid leaned against the doorframe.

It was hard to breathe for some reason. “I didn’t mean to break it.”

“You don’t mean to do a lot of things, but we decided to remove them.”

“There’s no fucking point—” I pulled at my hair. My hands were vibrating again. “Why! I didn’t mean to.”

“You’re throwing a fit about this?” she scoffed. “You’re not a child anymore, Eiko. What we did is for your own safety. You’re unpredictable, and with your powers growing, it had to be done.”

“Shut up,” I breathed.

“You will not talk to me in that way,” she stated.

“Shut up. Everyone just shut up!” The tattoos ignited as I ran to the wall and slammed my fists into where the window used to be. The thick stones were blasted out of the way as golden dust filtered through the air.

“Holy shit,” breathed Astrid, clasping her mouth. “Damnit, Eiko!” She hit the panic button.

I knelt in front of the hole. I was four stories above the ground, but I felt the wind on my skin for the first time in years. It was almost like being outside.

“What’s happening?!” Hellana ran to Astrid’s side. “Was there an earthquake? Did they drop a—” Her breath caught. “Oh, Eiko.”

She walked toward me.

“Stay back!” ordered Astrid.

Hellana knocked her hand away and came to kneel by me. “Are you hurt?”

I shook my head and peered outside. The sky was dark; overall, it looked like a gloomy day, but it also seemed so peaceful.

“Eiko?”

She touched my hand, and I jerked it away. Hellana sat up straight before turning to look outside with me. “It smells like rain.”

“What does rain smell like?”

She laughed. “Like this, but if you don’t know what it smells like when it’s not going to rain, it's hard to compare.”

I felt at peace. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. “I can hear birds. That’s the sound of birds, right?”

She nodded. “They’re starting to build their nests in the trees.”

“It’s nice outside.”

Hellana took a deep breath. “I do enjoy sitting in the gardens. When the flowers bloom, I can bring you one.”

“A real one?”

She laughed. “There’s no point in giving you a fake one.”

I blinked a couple of times, trying to take it in.

Astrid moved so she was behind me. “Eiko, we need to go.”

I sat silent for a moment. “Can I have a window?”

“We’ll put them back in.”

I smiled at the thought. “It would be nice if they could open.”

“Fresh air is good for the soul,” added Hellana.

Astrid turned to her. “Leave now. Before I ban you from this room.”

Hellana stood. “You’re in charge of him. Not me. As a high-level healer, I’m the only one who can withstand his magic.”

Astrid peered down his nose. “He heals quickly, so we may not need you.”

Shaking her head, Hellana left.

“Eiko, let’s go.” She tapped my shoulder.

“Do you promise to put them back?”

“Yep,” she said, annoyed. “You’d blow another hole in the wall if we didn’t.”

***

The knock on the door told me who was behind it.

Hellana entered, carrying my lunch. “Hey, I met the maid in the hall. I told her I’d bring this to you.”

I remained where I was, sprawled across the floor on my stomach. She placed it on my desk and came to sit by me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Astrid had to redo my tattoos,” I replied, facing the wall.

“Ouch.” She carefully moved my hair off my back. “Does your skin still hurt?” Her finger brushed against the marks like a soothing cream. “You have new ones.”

“I broke the bands.”

“Good riddance,” she replied. “They were barbaric. The whole world is fighting to prove which ideologies are the least barbaric, but we still use such horrible devices on people.”

“I’m a weapon.”

“You’re still human, Eiko. They like to forget that being asters doesn’t turn us into mindless robots. We have thoughts and feelings just like the normal population.”

I lay there quietly as she traced my tattoos.

“I’m sorry about the books. I didn’t think it would hurt anything to bring you some.” She moved to my legs. “Astrid chewed me out for it, and my advisor let me have it as well. They would have transferred me, but no one else can do my job.”

“Why? I’ve had other healers.”

She shifted her weight. “Astrid always came with them. Your energy could kill one of them. I’m a little harder to get rid of.” She grinned at me.

I lifted my head. “You’re like me?”

She nodded. “Rare, yes. My abilities are high-level, so my body can withstand being around you. The other healers said they’d feel drained whenever they treated you because your energy is so defensive. I can feel it. It’s constantly battling to protect you.”

“Onabis die easily.” I placed my hands under my head. “That’s why.”

“I think there’s more to it. War—it’s hard to watch, and they don’t prepare us for that here.”

“Have you been?”

“Yes.” She took a deep breath. “Can you turn over?”

I did so.

“I worked at a hospital close to the battlegrounds,” said Hellana, “but my mental health started to decline recently. I couldn’t watch the destruction anymore. I was healing soldiers only to send them back to be injured or even killed. The guilt was getting to me”—she took a deep breath— “so they sent me here to help with you.”

“They want me to kill people. The general—” I peered up at the ceiling.

“He’s a cruel man.” Hellana shook her head. “General Mayer’s job is to find children like us and raise them to be assets for the army. That’s what we are to him—property.” She touched my lower abdomen.

I moved her hand. “That one is fine.”

“What does it do?”

“Nothing. I feel better.” I went to my desk.

Hellana moved to the bed and looked out the window. “Do they open?”

I nodded. “There’s a barrier. Astrid said I have one chance. They’ll be removed again if I mess up.

“Well, then.” She stood and opened the window all the way. Walking past me, she did the same to the other one. “I think we need some fresh air.”

This girl confused me. She may have a similar energy to mine, but I could still kill her. That was what asters like me were created to do.

“Why do you care so much?” I asked, twirling a pencil on my desk. “No one else does.”

“About you?”

I watched the pencil spin along the paper.

Hellana shrugged as the wind rustled her hair. “I’ve been surrounded by people who only want to hurt others because they are different. They were raised to hate anyone from the other territories, as was I. My parents are the same. My brother couldn’t wait to go and fight for Northern Pagora. I was thrilled to find out I had healing magic.” She examined her hands. “I was going to help my country.”

“I wanted to serve our government and spread our ideas across the whole world. That was what I was taught in school, so I turned myself in as an aster to be a resource for the nation.” She grew very still. “Northern Pagora is the greatest nation. We have to spread our freedoms and way of life so everyone could be as happy as us.” She smiled sadly at the floor. “That’s what they told me when I was being trained. Until I got there.”

Walking to the window, she folded her arms. “After a battle, I’d be sent out to find soldiers who were still alive. I could sense their life energy. I stopped at one, covered in so much blood that I didn’t notice it was the wrong uniform. I wanted to help her. But the soldier who went with me said no. She’s a Westerner, and he shot her.” She wiped her face. “Kill her because she had on the wrong uniform. I found my voice that day.”

Closing her eyes, she smiled. “I was going to protect those who were different.” She turned to me.

My gaze snapped down. “You said before that you turned yourself in because they would have punished your family.”

Hellana let out a deep breath. “No one wants to be here. Most were taken away from their families by force. I’ve learned to play along. You won’t tell anyone, right?”

I shook my head. “We’ve all been lied to,” I whispered. “I believed it”—I bowed my head—“until I experienced what it meant to be an aster.”

She smiled sadly to herself. “We are different. They are different. Everyone is different, so why are we so afraid of it?”

I shrugged and scribbled swirls with the pencil.

“The first day we met, it was clear I was afraid of you, but you were also afraid of me.”

With a scoff, I dropped my head into my hand.

She laughed. “You have a kind soul, Eiko. I tell that to everyone who speaks badly of you. Yes, you are different from the rest of us, but that’s why I want to protect you. I don’t know if that answers your questions. Maybe I’m simply trying to make up for being a horrible healer.”

“You’re good.”

Hellana’s mouth fell open. “Say again?”

“You’re—you’re better than the others,” I muttered. “A little bit.” I lay my head on my desk. “I want to be alone now.”

She chuckled to herself. “Alright, alright. I’m still working on getting your picture books back. Astrid saw how the windows calmed you down, so I’m trying to convince these people that a few pictures might also help.”

Sucking in my lips, I kept my face hidden from her.

“You might need to put on a few more clothes if you’re going to leave the windows open.”

“It’s always hot.” I tucked my arms under the desk and hugged my stomach.

“I’m just suggesting a shirt from time to time.” She opened the door. “Bye, Eiko.”

The door clicked shut, and the locks slid into place. I slumped into my seat, wringing my hands together. I hoped I never had to go to war. I’d be the cause behind all of those soldiers being hurt. I’d be the one killing them.