***This is a Preview***

“Excuse my mother, she’s English,” I said, the moment River walked through my front door.

It was as if the words themselves summoned her because suddenly, she was standing in the hall with us.

“And who is this dishy young man?” Mum asked. She was staring at River, then at me. Her face looked like she was trying to solve a particularly difficult mathematical equation.

“Mum, this is River. River, my mother; Jane,” I said, trying to maneuver us towards the stairs.

“Nice to meet you, Ma’am,” River said, flashing mum his smile.

“And he’s polite too,” Mum said, dramatically putting a hand on her chest.

“Ok, enough. River is here for... tutoring,” I said, remembering his need for secrecy at the last moment.

“Hmmm,” Mum said, trying not to laugh. “Well, don't work him too hard, Kit.”

I stared at her in fury, grabbed River’s hand without thinking, and marched up the stairs. Only when we were in my room, did I realize that I was still holding on to him.

I dropped his hand and said, “Sorry, I just needed to get away from her.”

“Does your mother know that you’re gay, Kit?” River asked, completely out of the blue.

“Yes. Although sometimes I wish I didn’t tell her because she’s constantly pointing out guys she likes for me.”

“Does she now think that you and I are...?” River asked with a completely serious face.

“What?! No! Of course not! She’s my mother but she must realize that you’re completely...” What the fuck was I about to say? Out of my league? Didn’t that mean he would first have to be playing the same sport?

“Straight?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, that’s totally what I was going to say,” I blabbered.

He stared at me and looked like he was going to add something but changed his mind. Instead, he opened his backpack and put the snacks on my desk. Then, he handed me the copy of Next Door and said, “Page thirty-three.”

Huh?

I dropped the magazine on my bed and asked him, “Where’s your guitar?”

He scratched the back of his head and said, “I was kinda hoping that you’d let me use yours. I don’t want anyone to know that I’m doing this.”

“Dude, seriously. What’s with all the cloak and dagger?” I finally asked.

“I’ll tell you when I know for sure you can keep a secret,” he replied, mysteriously. “But I have the feeling that you would understand my situation better than most.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I asked, “What song do you want to play?”

“It’s a Shawn Mendes song, ‘Stitches’. Do you know it?”

“Hmmm, that’s doable with some serious practice but the instrumental version is a bit bland,” I said, already thinking about alternatives.

“I’m gonna sing with it,” he said, brightly.

“You sing?” I asked in surprise.

“I can carry a tune,” he replied, scrolling through his phone. He opened a karaoke version of the song and...

My mouth must surely have been hanging open. What the fuck?! He sang it almost as well as Shawn himself.

“What do think? Should I pick a different song?” he asked, looking self-conscious.

My first session with River went well but he was very anxious to get to the playing part. I took him through the bare basics and had him do a part of the intro just to keep him motivated.

He left very happy and even called goodbye to my mum. Luckily, she didn’t hear him from her herb garden.

It was only when I dropped myself onto my bed and opened my magazine that I remembered the page number he’d mentioned.

Holy shit, it was a double-page spread on PJP! He looked amazing in that signature Vero coat. Had River looked through this and recognized him?

I instinctively pulled out my phone to text him. That’s when I realized that I was about to gossip with River about a guy, just like I would with Hadley.

Fuck! That was close. What was my problem? Why was I feeling so at ease around him that I thought I could do that?

Was I starting to develop a crush on him? But that didn’t make any sense! Shouldn’t all of my inner systems be telling me that he was unattainable?

Or was that precisely the reason why? Was I deliberately choosing a guy far beyond my reach just to get disappointed and perpetuate the lack of male presence in my life?

My dad had walked out on my mum when I was still a toddler. She decided to stay in the US because she had the perfect job with benefits that included daycare for me.

When I was twelve, my grandmother died and her dad begged her to come back to London. Once again, she decided to stay because the US was the only home I knew.

Mum would occasionally go out on a date but the guys never stuck. She claimed that her Aunt Sasha had too many boyfriends after her divorce and it had made her cousins’ lives very unstable.

I concluded that it would be best to put some mental distance between River and myself. I would say “hi” in the hallway, teach him the guitar like a professional and leave it at that.

Besides, I had ignored Hadley way too much. I should fix that straight away!

[Hey.

[Hey, stranger.

[How’s the boyfriend?

[Not funny!

[Why did you two have lunch the other day?

[More importantly, why didn’t you tell me?

[River asked for a favor.

[I can’t talk about it.

[Can’t talk about it?!

[Am I going to have to tickle it out of you?

I thought about it for a moment and realized that Hadley would keep chasing me for an answer until I gave her one.

On the other hand, River said that he would eventually tell me why he wanted lessons if I proved I could keep a secret.

Best friend versus curiosity...

[He asked for help with an English assignment.

[He doesn’t want anyone to know.

[Why the hell is RY asking you for help?

[Fuck if I know.

[But how can I say no to that face?

[True!😏

[So, when are you going to introduce us?

[Goodnight, Hadley!

After our fifth lesson, River caught me completely off guard by asking, “Do you want to come along to Meridith Steele’s party tonight?”

“What?! You know Meridith?”

“My dad was invited but he can’t make it,” he said avoiding eye contact. “I know you like celebrities, so the invite is a thank you for...”

“Are you trying to convince me? Of course, I’ll come!” I said, jumping around like a loon. “Meredith frickin’ Steele! This is insane!”

I was so overcome with excitement that I grabbed River in a massive hug until I realized what I was doing... Again! Surprisingly, when I tried to pull away, he held on for a moment longer.

“I don’t get many hugs,” he said quietly. “My parents aren’t very... huggy.”

“Do you want another one?” I asked, against my better judgment. I still couldn’t believe that he’d just invited me to a party that was surely going to be full of famous faces from all over.

“Yes, please,” he replied.

It felt amazing to be held in those strong arms. But what was I doing to myself? Hadn’t I vowed to put some distance between us?

That’s when something amazing occurred to me. Could River and I just be friends that sometimes hugged and spent time together? Like I did with Hadley? That would be perfect!

“What time shall I pick you up?” River asked, checking his phone.

“Doesn’t that depend on when the party starts?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Meredith rented a villa on the beach. Guests will be coming and going all day,” River answered, grabbing his backpack.

“Then I leave it up to you,” I said, grinning from ear to ear.

“Great! I’ll be back here at eight.”

***

I entered the enormous room like a kid on his first trip to Disneyland. My mind couldn’t keep track of all the well-known people I was seeing around me.

That was Blayne Grover; the actor who played the lead in “The Warlock’s Son” TV show.

And Calvin Furst; CEO of AcuTech, what was he doing here?

“River, I can’t breathe,” I said from pure overwhelm.

“Are you OK?” he asked, looking concerned for a moment. When he saw my look of euphoria, he laughed and grabbed champagne from a passing tray.

“Let’s try to look like we belong,” he said, conspiratorially.

Three glasses of champagne later and I was talking loudly to a dude in his fifties about how his generation had trouble understanding modern teen life. When I was done ranting, he said that my opinion was truly refreshing.

Then he told me that he was the creator of “My High Life”; Netflix’s latest dark comedy set in a private school. I wanted to sink into the ground but luckily, River returned from the bathroom to save me.

“Come, there is someone I’d like you to meet,” he said, guiding me through the ever-growing crowd.

He took me upstairs and nodded at two bodyguards. They let us past without question and in the far corner I saw...

Holy fuck, was River taking me to see Meredith herself? I was suddenly very grateful for the alcohol in my system or my heart would’ve beat out of my chest. She was talking to someone with their back to me.

“Kit, I’d like you to meet Meridith Steele and Jean Pierre Rogier; Crown Prince of Anchy.”

Holy! Fucking! Shit!

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