I laced my top, then looked at myself in the mirror for a moment. I had the first commissioned dress and it was…different. Softer fabrics, different design, and just something I wasn’t used to. The seamstress had made sure I could still move in it, but I didn’t like how much noise the skirt made as I walked. I preferred to be silent – something important in the forest, but it could be nice even here in the castle. I mentally stored away that information on fabrics, because I would probably avoid this fabric in the future.

However, I paused, looking at the slippers, then at the dress. Hmm. Maybe the solution wasn’t to ask a seamstress and cobbler to make special outfits for me. Maybe the solution was for me to learn how to make shoes and dresses and then I could make what I wanted, because I knew what was comfortable for me. Maybe it wouldn’t be the currently fashionable style, but people respected those wearing fashion from another country, right? Maybe it could be like that. I could wear my own style, something I invented, and they couldn’t really challenge it if it didn’t look like everyone else’s clothes, then.

Satisfied with this plan, I quickly brushed my hair so Genevieve wouldn’t complain and then headed out to meet her.

Today she had arranged for me to meet with some of the scholars to start my studies here. I was excited about this.

Olwen, however, rolled her eyes when I met up with them and again muttered something about catering to me, which made me curious. She seemed like she just wanted to find fault with me no matter what, because why would she have complaints about me learning more if her whole issue was me not being proper? It wasn’t a string I was willing to follow right now, but someday I’d like to find out why Olwen didn’t like me.

Genevieve, on the other hand, gave me a happy smile and asked me how I liked the new dress, initially pleased when I admitted it wasn’t as bad as I thought and then startled when I said I wanted to learn how to make dresses and shoes.

“You want to – to make them?” She seemed puzzled. “Do you not like the seamstress? Or the cobbler? We can talk to others.”

“It’s not that, it’s more that I want to just be able to create what I want myself.” She didn’t seem to understand, but that was fair. She’d grown up in a world where she had always had someone provide that for her. She probably hadn’t ever realized how convenient it was to be able to mend a hole or sew on a button herself instead of having to wait for someone else to do it.

“I know some basics, enough to mend what I need, but not to make new things. Since we’re talking about making a style unique to me or shoes that only I wear, why put the seamstress and cobbler through that, when I’m perfectly capable of making those myself – especially if it’s something that is designed for me specifically, for my wants and comfort? I’ll know what I like better than anyone.”

“I see.” Genevieve’s puzzled expression said she didn’t get it, but she went along with it anyway. “I suppose we can ask the seamstress if she’s willing to teach you. The cobbler, too. I can pay them for their time, of course.”

I didn’t much like having to rely on her money to get what I needed, but I doubted I could offer a barter that either the seamstress or cobbler would really want. I was used to living with minimal possessions, and money was rare. I hadn’t had much of a need for it before now, but if I wanted to live in Camelot and learn everything people here could tell me, money would be important.

Probably a bonus to being the king’s ward, then. I’d have money available that I wouldn’t normally.

We reached the library and I immediately diverted my attention to our surroundings. There were books, a lot of them. I had seen books before, of course, but I hadn’t been able to spend much time around them, and I was very excited to get to actually read these.

A well-dressed but stuffy looking man cleared his throat as we came in, then stepped forward, bowing to Genevieve. “My lady.” He glanced briefly at Olwen, nodding slightly to her, then his eyes went over me, but his expression seemed like he couldn’t quite decide what to think of me.

Ha! A bonus I hadn’t expected from Genevieve’s idea of giving me kind of my own style and shoes that people weren’t used to seeing. I knew there were rumors about me being a feral child, but now I was dressed in something that wasn’t peasant garb but also wasn’t entirely a noblewoman’s dress.

“Lucan, this is Merlynn, the king’s ward. I told you she wanted to study here. Merlynn, this is Lucan, he’s in charge of Arthur’s scholars and record-keeping. And the library, of course.”

I looked at him, partially curious, and partially expecting a protest from him.

Predictably, it came.

“My lady,” he turned to Genevieve, his tone a little patronizing, “perhaps a tutor would be better? I don’t think providing access to the king’s expensive and fragile books is best solution to helping the king’s ward learn,” he paused, “anything.”

Genevieve was so taken aback by this that she seemed lost for words, but I, fortunately, was not.

So, naturally, I piped up. “I don’t need help learning how to read and write, if that’s what you’re worried about. I know how to read and write, in several languages, actually. Genevieve suggested I could read here to learn more. But I do know how to properly handle books without damaging them and I think you’ll find I’m actually not a detriment to your studies – at most, I may want to debate with people, only if they’re willing, or have a few questions about things that aren’t clear from books. But it definitely won’t be teaching someone full-time.”

He blinked furiously, obviously not expecting me to have as extensive a vocabulary as I did, but he still didn’t seem convinced. “I don’t think this is the appropriate venue – ”

“Well that’s irrelevant, isn’t it?” I smiled sweetly at him, ignoring his shock at my interruption. “The problem isn’t the venue, the problem is that you don’t think I belong here. Why, I wonder? Because you’ve heard rumors that I grew up in a cottage in the woods, away from civilization, and therefore I must be a dirty, wild, completely uncivilized heathen, right? But even a couple minutes talking to me should dispose of that notion. I may be odd, but I am not uneducated. And you can’t genuinely deny it – I can prove it easily enough if you like.”

I noticed one of the other scholars, a younger looking man, peeking up at us over his book, kind of curious. He seemed almost amused at the way I was throwing Lucan off balance.

“Yes, an excellent idea!” Genevieve jumped it eagerly. “You’ll need to know what Merlynn knows to help her figure out what she should study to supplement her education, plus this can satisfy any reservations you have, right?”

Lucan, very reluctantly, gave in. It was clear he wasn’t happy about it, but he couldn’t really refuse Genevieve outright, which meant I had to assume he was going to try to trip me up with the toughest questions he could come up with.

Thirty minutes later, a very flustered Lucan had to admit defeat when I had solved all his mathematical questions, correctly identified the issues with his scientific theories – which he’d deliberately misstated – explained some rather in-depth philosophy questions succinctly, and even listed out some of the important elements in history.

I looked almost triumphantly at the sour old man who was upset at not being able to shake me. The younger scholar I’d noticed had been watching and seemed almost as delighted as Genevieve was as correct answer after correct answer made the older scholar frown all the more. In fact, even Olwen seemed pleasantly taken aback by my knowledge. It was only the grumpy old man who was upset.

“You grew up in the woods,” he muttered, sounding still unwilling to yield.

“I did,” I agreed readily, “but my mother did not. She grew up with scholars and received an education worthy of a royal. She passed along everything she knew to me. My education is extensive, far more than many scholars’ from what I understand, but it lacks in more recent events and new scientific and other developments.”

His face was still pinched together unhappily. “Well, this is not a school.”

Genevieve started frowning, but I briefly touched her forearm, still wanting to take this fight on for myself.

“What’s the real reason?” I asked, my eyes piercing his. I wasn’t going to let him squirm out of this, no matter how much he wanted to. “I’ve proven I’m not uneducated and I daresay there are things I know that your people here don’t know. There are likely things I could teach them in exchange for what I can learn from them. And I’m not asking your time. I’m asking access to the library and to those who are willing to talk to me.” Like the younger scholar who had forgotten he was pretending to be reading and was just listening to us outright. “You won’t have to have anything to do with me. So why does it bother you so much that I want to be in the library?”

He muttered something that my ears picked up on, but apparently the others didn’t. I raised an eyebrow, not entirely surprised, but wanting him to state this outright for the sake of the others.

“What’s that? We couldn’t quite hear. Isn’t it impolite to mumble in front of others – especially the future queen?”

Lucan flinched, a scowl coming across his sour face, but he did speak up this time, his glare fully focused on me. “Because it’s not a woman’s place.”

It was so silent in response that all that could be heard was the breathing of the people.

Genevieve was starting to look angry herself, and even Olwen was frowning – as was the younger scholar – but I wasn’t done yet.

“Because a woman’s place is to learn to take care of her household and raise her children?” I asked. “Women are expected to be pretty ornaments on the arms of their husbands, yet also to know how to handle finances, make money stretch as far as possible, understand the differences between good and bad grains and how to not get cheated at the market, and, well, raise children. You completely ignore that many women have learned far more than even their husbands have about a great deal many of things. Maybe not formal learning, but do you know how to make bread and other foods for your family, several times a day, while also keeping your house clean, managing your washing so that you never run out of clean clothes, and going to the market to get what your family needs? Do you know how to recognize when someone has used wrong fabrics on a garment, or is cheating you on the weight of oil, or is lying about the freshness of the fish?” I snorted a bit. “Women are capable of far more than some men realize. They are expected to run households without men ever understanding all the details that entails. Not to mention, women are just as capable of understanding politics, science, mathematics, chemistry – all of that. My mother and I are proof of that, and I doubt we are the only women scholars in existence. Look at Genevieve – she might not be a formal scholar, but she’s had to learn almost everything Arthur has, in order to support him and be able to step up in the event he is incapacitated or killed. Have you forgotten that? That some queens run their countries on their own? You can’t seriously think they don’t have a grasp of economics and politics? You instead imagine they rely solely on a man’s advice? Why not tell one that and see how much scorn they offer you in return. I imagine Queen Medb would laugh at you at best – she runs the kingdom, not her king.

“Women are capable of anything a man is capable of mentally. Don’t assume otherwise. Do you really think that managing a household doesn’t entail some knowledge of economics and mathematics? That keeping household members entertained and taken care of doesn’t involve some amount of diplomacy and understanding of how people think? That taking care of small injuries and wounds doesn’t involve some knowledge of medicine? That cooking and preparing drinks doesn’t involve science and chemistry to ensure things are cooked efficiently, without exploding anything, and taste good when complete? There is a lot of knowledge of a variety of subjects that women learn without ever being formally taught – just imagine what they could do if they were formally taught!

“And let’s not forget the other part – raising children. What, a woman has no value outside of having children? I doubt most women would appreciate that sentiment. They aren’t people unless they are mothers? They are worthless if they have no children? You think women who don’t have or don’t want children are somehow a burden on society – even if they are nurses, bakers, servants, or in general have a career and support themselves? How are they worthless if they are helping others? If they are providing for themselves? And for those who do have children, why, if you think so little of women, would you even want a woman to raise that child, especially if the child is a boy? Wouldn’t you be afraid she wouldn’t be able to properly teach him how to be a decent person? Sure, he might have tutors to handle formal schooling, but teachers only deal with the child for a few hours a day. They can’t teach the child how to respect others, how to work hard, how to in general contribute to society and be a decent person. That responsibility, my misogynistic friend, is laid at the mother’s door. And yet you look down on women who are somehow capable of learning information about several different areas of knowledge, managing to keep their families alive and taken care of, and teaching their children on top of that.” This time, I didn’t bother to hide my own scorn. “That idea is one of ignorance and archaic practices that have no place in a world that is attempting to better itself. If you desire to live in a world where ignorance and bigotry thrive, then by all means, take that stance. But don’t claim to be a true scholar if you are incapable of seeing the fallacies in your own beliefs.”

Silence again, before Genevieve abruptly gave a curt nod. “Merlynn stated everything I could, far better than I could, really. But,” she smiled a little too much at him, “don’t think I’ll forget this. I will speak to Arthur about this, in fact. I don’t think we have a place in Camelot, or definitely not here in the heart of learning in Camelot, for a man who thinks this way about women. If you hope to keep your position, I highly suggest rethinking your stance.”

She turned and motioned me and Olwen to come with her, sweeping out regally, only to pause in the door and look back at Lucan. “By the way, Lucan, Merlynn’s access to the library is not a request. I am informing you that she has access and you are not in any way to hinder that. Is that clear?”

She waited until he gave her a very sullen “yes, my lady” before exiting with me and Olwen.