Roland’s POV

“I need you to burn these,” I said as I placed the black trash bag on the floor of Andrew’s office. Andrew only stared at me with a confused look in his eye. 

“Burn what exactly,” he asked as he looked at the bag. He went to open it but I batted his hand away. It had taken an act of god to actually get the clothes in the bag without touching them in any way and I wasn’t about to do it again just so he could look at them.

“My clothes.”

“Why do you need me to burn your clothes?”

“Because they are dirty and Kit isn’t here to do it for me and you said you would help with all the things Kit would normally do and can’t now since he had to leave.”

“Right,” he said with a frown, still looking confused. “Let’s back up for a second. What happened to these clothes that would warrant them being burned rather than just being thrown out or washed and worn again?” I couldn’t help the groan that left my mouth.

“Kit wouldn’t have asked useless questions.”

“I don’t feel like this is a useless question. You’ve never asked to burn clothes in the past so this is a little concerning.”

“Well, this has never happened before but now that it has I need them gone.”

“Right but what happened? If it’s something we could avoid in the future to save your other clothes I would like to find those options.”

“They got dirty,” I said with a duh tone, not understanding why he couldn’t fathom the words coming out of my mouth. How hard was it to just take the bag and throw them in a fire?

“Okay, we’re going in circles,” he said with a sigh. “How did they get dirty? And what makes them so dirty that you can’t just wash them? I know you don’t like dirt and germs but you haven’t had a problem with washing clothes in the past so what’s going on? Did Kit usually do the washing and now you feel like you can’t or is this a new thing entirely that’s happening? I need you to help me understand.”

I stared at him for a moment. I knew if I told him what really happened he would pressure me into telling him who did it so he could deal with it but I also knew that confronting a bully never helps. Either they make it worse for getting them in trouble or someone else takes their place. Nothing ever really changes.

But if I didn’t tell him, he might refuse and send me back to the cabin which meant I would have to try and find a way to throw them into the campfire when no one was looking and just claim it was an accident. I would probably get questioned about why they were in a trash bag though and Andrew would just end up asking why I did it and that would lead us back to the first option.

“Someone threw a napkin at me. It was dirty and full of germs and the germs got on these clothes and now they need to be burned to kill all the germs and bacteria.” His mouth fell open as he tried to come up with a response.

“Who threw a napkin at you? When did this happen?”

“I don’t know who did it. Yesterday.”

“Why did you come talk to me or Mary when it happened? You could have pointed them out to us and we could have done something about it.”

“I had to get clean first,” I said with an eye roll. “Then I kind of panicked. I’m telling you now,” I defended weakly when I saw the disapproval in his eyes.

“Would you have told me if you didn’t need me to burn them?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s just a napkin. It didn’t hurt, I just didn’t like it. There’s no reason to get anyone in trouble over a napkin.”

“If it negatively affected you the person who threw it needs to know that it isn’t okay. Even if it didn’t affect you, that shouldn’t have happened. People shouldn’t be throwing things. It’s uncalled for.”

“This is a camp full of criminals. I’m sure worse things have happened. This is just normal teenage boy things.”

“It might be normal but that doesn’t mean it should be happening. Not when everyone is supposed to be working towards getting away from bad habits and working on being a better person. Their therapist needs to know about this so they can work on it. It might just be a napkin today but what if in a few months, it becomes a soda can or knife?”

“Our knives are pretty dull so I think it would be okay,” I said with a shrug. 

“That’s not the point,” he said with a deep sigh. I looked at the floor, not being able to hold his gaze. I shouldn’t have told him. All I’ve done is make him upset with me.

I looked down at the stupid bag on the floor and picked it up. 

“What are you doing,” Andrew asked as he took a step closer. I took a step back.

“I’ll handle this,” I said with a shrug. “I know how to make a fire. I can do this.”

“Roland, no,” he said with another sigh as he took another step. I took another step back. “I will take care of the fire, just put the bag down.”

“You’re upset,” I said as I placed the bag back down on the floor.

“Yes, I am.”

“With me.”

“Never at you,” he said with a small smile that was too forced to have full effect. “I’m upset that someone did this to you. I’m upset that you don’t see the problem.”

“So you are upset with me then.”

“I’m upset with the people who taught you that this is just normal behavior, whoever that may be.” I nodded but I didn’t believe him. “I’ll take care of the clothes but next time something like this happens I want you to come tell me or Mary. Bullying, in any sense of the word, is not tolerated here. I will not have anyone at this camp feel less than anyone else here, staff or camper.” I nod again just to make him feel better. “You said you panicked after it happened. I know this isn’t our normal session day but I would like to talk to you about this. What happened after the guy threw the napkin?”

“I threw up. Like a lot. Then I took a shower for a long time to get clean because I couldn’t really burn myself to get the germs off. Then I cried a lot and wanted Kit but Kit wasn’t here so I cried more.” Andrew’s frown deepened. “Then I went to bed. I’m not going into the cafeteria anymore.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to. I’m sorry for suggesting it. How do you feel now that you’re clean?”

“I don’t feel clean. I don’t think I’ll feel clean for a while but I’m better now. I haven’t thrown up anymore so that’s good.”

“That is good,” Andrew confirmed with a sad smile. “Is there anything I can do to help you right now?”

“Burn the clothes.” He sighed again.

“Anything else?”

“No. I’m okay now.” He didn’t believe me.


Kit’s POV

A knock at the door was the only reason I left my bed when I did.

I groaned to myself as I forced myself to leave the warmth and comfort of my pillows. I knew my hair probably looked crazy but I didn’t care enough as I opened the door to reveal Andrew standing there. He had the wide smile that he always wore but it looked a little more amused when he saw how I currently looked. 

"Rough night,” he asked, looking at my crumpled night clothes. 

“Rough nights,” I corrected as I opened the door wider to let him in. “Dinner shifts make better tips and this place doesn’t close until 10. I’m lucky to be in bed by midnight. I used to be fine with staying up that late but Roland and his reasonable sleep habits have ruined me.” He only laughed as he sat on the couch. 

I knew what today was for the second he asked for a good time to come over. I had been through enough home visits to know a check-in when I saw one coming. I had stayed up late cleaning the apartment top to bottom to the point where no speck of dust was out of place. I wasn’t getting moved from this place. 

“Other than the late nights, how has it been going for you? We haven’t really been able to talk since I dropped you off a few weeks ago.”

“It’s been pretty good. The job is fine, the apartment is nice. Having my friends around again has been amazing. We go skating almost every day, and hang out literally all the time.”

“I’m glad to hear that. So the adjusting is going well then?”

“I’d say so. I mean it’s hard to tell this early on, you know? Still in a bit of shock that it’s actually happening. That I’m not still in camp or rehab or a shitty foster home. I keep thinking one day I’ll wake up and my case worker will be at my door saying this was a mistake and I have to go back.”

“A lot of people feel that way after leaving camp,” Andrew said with a nod. “It’s completely normal but I will reassure you that it will not happen. You made it out and now you get to enjoy life.” I smiled at that because I had made it out. I had dug myself into such a deep hole and I had crawled out of it.

“Have you had time to think about a career path? I know it’s still early but I like to keep these things fresh on the mind.”

“I haven’t had time to think about anything other than work,” I said honestly. “I’ve been taking any available shift just to help us get on our feet. We got pots and pans last week so we’re able to save money with food now so hopefully I’ll be able to slow down now.”

“What all is left on your list?”

“I’d like to get a better phone,” I said honestly as I played with the shitty flip phone in my hand. “The only reason I bought this one so soon and didn’t save up for a better one was because I wanted to be able to call Roland right away but this thing sucks. The battery life is terrible.” Andrew’s small turned into a small frown at the mention of my boyfriend. “What’s that face for?”

“What face?”

“The face that you’re currently making. The face that you made when I bought up Roland.” His frown deepened. “That face right there.” He sighed.

“I don’t want to make you worry.”

“Well, I’m going to worry now just because you said that so you might as well just tell me.”

He paused for a minute as he weighed his options before he hung his head and sighed. 

“He’s not doing well.”

“I figured that by the random call I got a few days ago,” I said with a shrug. “But he sounded relatively fine over the phone. We knew it was going to take some time for him to adjust.”

“It’s not just the adjusting. There was an incident yesterday.” My heart stopped.

“He tried to leave?”

“No!” Andrew said a bit too quickly. “No, nothing like that yet. We have a close eye on him and nothing he has done points to him doing that any time soon. Apparently a napkin was thrown at him.”

“A napkin?”

“It was dirty.”

“Ah,” I said, slowly starting to understand more.

“Mary and I pulled camera footage and we found the boy who did it. He’s going to get extra counseling to help him understand why he did it and why it’s not okay but the damage is already done.”

“What happened?”

“According to Roland, he threw up and I quote ‘a lot’. He face where the napkin had touched him was rubbed completely raw and is still red. He asked me to burn the clothes he was wearing.”

“That’s not good,” I said slowly. “He’s touched germs before and this didn’t happen. I mean he washed his hands for a really long time and scrubbed them pretty hard but he never threw up or asked me to burn his clothes.”

“I don’t know what made this time so bad. Maybe it was this combined with you leaving; it was just a double-stress situation or it could be where it hit him or how dirty the napkin was. I honestly have no clue and he was getting upset when I started to ask questions so I stopped. But we knew he had a germ problem so I’m not as concerned about that as long as we can keep it from happening again. I’m more concerned with the fact that he made it seem like this was normal or okay. Any time I tried to ask about who did it or for him to come talk to us if it happened again he just shrugged it off.”

“He did the same thing when those guys were pushing him around when I first got to camp. I asked him about it and he just said ratting out a bully doesn’t fix the problem. I think he’s just so used to it. I mean growing up in the foster homes that had along with assholes at school, you get used to getting treated a certain way. To him, this is normal even if he doesn’t like it.”

“But that means he will not tell us the next time it happens unless he needs our help. The only reason he told me about this is so I could burn his clothes. We can’t help if we don’t know it’s happening. I tried telling him that we have a no-tolerance policy about bullying but he didn’t seem to care.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“It’s because he’s heard it all before. Every school has a no-tolerance policy but that doesn’t change anything. Kids still bully each other and if the bully happens to be a good athlete the school doesn’t do anything. Actions are going to speak louder than words. He’s not going to believe you if you give him no reason to.” Andrew nodded but still frowned. “I’ll talk to him. Next time he calls I’ll try to get him on your side but I don’t think it will help much. They started leaving him alone when he was around me so maybe that will help.”

“Mary and I can’t just stick beside him every second of the day. He needs to have some independence. Besides, I don’t think he likes us as much as he likes you.”

“It’ll just take time. He didn’t like me at first either.”

“He’s starting to isolate,” Andrew said sadly. “He only comes out of the cabin when he has a car or to spend an hour outside like I recommended. He needs to get a friend.”

“I’ve been trying on the friend thing and I just don’t see it happening. I think the only way he’s going to make friends is if you get him another cabin mate so he is forced to hang out with them and even that he’s going to hate.”

“Camp is still pretty empty right now so we can’t use that as an excuse right now but Mary and I are already considering it. We’re waiting for someone with a temperament like his; quiet, doesn’t like people, seeing if maybe that will help. The next timid kid we find is going to be introduced to him just to see if we can nudge him in the right direction.”

“He’s going to see through that, you know that right?”

“I know but I’m hoping it won’t matter.”

“It’s going to matter but it might work.”

“I just don’t know what else to try at this point,” Andrew said with a sigh. “I’m going to reach out to a friend of mine. A couple actually. I know someone who specializes in abuse and autism, maybe they will help give me some ideas.”

“Just don’t give up on him. He needs people right now. You might not see it but he trusts you. He wouldn’t have given you those clothes if he didn’t.”

“I’m not giving up,” Andrew said with a smile. “I could give up on him even if I wanted to. He’s a good kid.” I smiled back at him.

“He really is.”