Memory Lane
Oct. 13th

- Audio Transcript -

I awoke at home from a strange dream. I dragged myself off the bed, recorder still strapped to my thigh from the night prior. Finishing a half-full can of Lemon Spritz, I gave Daisy a call.

Daisy:
Dryce! How are you?

Dryce:
Not bad. Do you remember mom's house?

Daisy:
How could I forget? It was a mansion.

Dryce:
I had a weird dream. It started out like... we were on the second or third floor, and there was a balcony. From there I could see this immaculate backyard, with walkways and stone gardens and a big fountain. Me and some other kids were playing with instruments, some string like a guitar, and some brass. But some of the brass ones were missing a mouthpiece. I tried to make the sound by going BRRR BRRR into it, one of them was too loud and the others didn't work at all.

Daisy:
Mhmm... yeah, that was the band room. You used to hang out there a lot cause you liked how everything sounded. Our cousins would come over and play for you.

Dryce:
Well, after that, the room was flooded with more family. People I barely recognized, and scores of them. They were going through the attic, looking for lost "treasures"... belongings they'd left or that nobody wanted anymore. I felt awkward around them, so I tried to leave, but they wanted me to stay.

Daisy:
We have a LOT of relatives, on both sides. Nearly all of them were just as wealthy as our parents, or at least they wanted to be. I remember trying to escape family time myself, they never wanted anyone to leave cause it "insulted" them if you weren't interested in hanging out.

Dryce:
Well, then I sort of looked for a friend and I found Darryll on the front lawn, but he wasn't really himself. He was smashing an old TV with a baseball bat, and nobody was saying anything.

Daisy:
Okay, weird.

Dryce:
So I left the place. It had a massive front lawn with trees and another fountain, and walkway. Around the block, I met these girls-

Daisy:
(Teasing.) Oh yeah.

Dryce:
A-and... one of them was really pretty, with brown hair and blue eyes...

Daisy:
Blue eyes, eh?

Dryce:
Shut up!!

[Daisy laughs]

Daisy:
So she's ALMOST as hot as me. Go on.

Dryce:
Well I kind of just stopped walking and she smiled at me and I smiled at her... and the next thing I know we were kissing on a bed in the basement.

Daisy:
Ooooooooohhhh!

Dryce:
Yeah, well, it was nice! It was awesome. She was amazing and it felt like love.

Daisy:
Ah, you're gonna melt my heart. My little one, finding dream love with his dream girl.

Dryce:
OKAY, well anyway, there was another bed next to us and this other guy and his blond girlfriend were just kind of... laying there.

Daisy:
That is so kinky!

Dryce:
No, it wasn't like that!

I frowned at her (through the phone, if I could manage it) and waited to be able to continue my story. I knew she was just kidding around, though.

Daisy:
(Sighing.) Alright, keep it coming.

Dryce:
Well he was complaining about us being "perverse" and "noisy" and "gross". All while he was just sitting there. I told him... "You can move, if you'd like, to one of the many couches in every room of this massive house, until we're done. And when we are, you can come back and get your rest."

Daisy:
Oh damn, that is a sick burn. There really was a couch in like, every freaking room. It was ridiculous.

Dryce:
So instead of moving this guy just gets indignant about it, like he CAN'T move. So I just keep going with this girl. Then-

Daisy:
I'm gonna stop you right there – I did the same thing pretty much when I was just a little older than you. Except it was my first time, y'know, doin' the horizontal tango.

Dryce:
Gross.

Daisy:
Look at you, you little hypocrite! It's not gross, it's awesome. It was the best time I ever had at that house and I had to sneak it because-

Dryce:
Because mom was yelling down the stairs?

Daisy:
Oh, absoLUTEly. My girlfriend was terrified of her, and so was I. So was everyone.

Dryce:
Girlfriend? I didn't know you liked girls.

Daisy:
I liked both. Girls were special, I dunno what it is. Boys were okay, but men are better. Older girls are the best but women freak me out. They're just off the track somehow.

Dryce:
Older girls?

Daisy:
Yeah, like they're adults but they still act kind of like a teenager but with more maturity. Once they tip over into full on corporate womanhood, they go crazy and you can never reach their frozen hearts with warmth ever again. It's like professionalism replaces their soul with a motherboard.

Dryce:
Maybe cause they're mothers?

Daisy:
Eh... that's a fair point. I guess I wouldn't know. So, mom was yelling like always?

Dryce:
Yeah, just being really verbally abusive. I think she said something like "You guys are being disruptive!" and I yelled right back "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S DISRUPTIVE!"

Daisy:
Hooooh, she would NOT have liked THAT. You would have caught so much shit. And probably hands, too.

Dryce:
Did she hit us?

Daisy:
All the time. She stopped spanking me only because I started lying to her. It was survival. She still slapped us around for stuff, like eating when it wasn't dinner time or going outside without permission. Or not "acting right" when people were around. Basically anything. Sometimes I wonder if she was just using us as punching bags whenever she was stressed out. You were too young to get hit seriously, but she found ways to make you miserable.

Dryce:
Like?

Daisy:
She would STOMP, STOMP, STOMP on the floors until you cried. And she'd put you out on the back porch when there was a thunderstorm, in a car seat, until thunder struck, with nothing but a little plastic umbrella. KRA-KOOOOWWW!! And you'd bawl your EYES out because you were TERRIFIED. I started sneaking you in after that because I knew she was just trying to torture a toddler at that point. She slapped me as hard as she could when she found out.

Dryce:
Oh.

Daisy:
But, like I said. You had to lie. I'd put you back after that, sparing you from the thunder but leaving you out so she'd think you weren't being moved. Eventually I think she decided you weren't afraid of loud noises and that you'd "learned your lesson".

Dryce:
She sounds... terrible.

Daisy:
She was. Becker Becken was an uncompromising, abusive, child-hating narcissist. She and our whole family was just as entitled, spoiled, and ridiculous as a caricature of a detached rich person. It was like a yuppie circus, all day, every day.

Dryce:
I don't... remember moving out.

Daisy:
Well, that's the thing. I moved us out when I was twenty-one. We've been living away from her ever since.

Dryce:
I've never asked this before, but what about our dad?

Daisy:
Your dad, I've never met the guy. I think he was like, a black-Italian dude. Mom only dated him twice, but he caught her going through his stuff and broke it off. You've got mixed heritage, buddy!

Dryce
(Surprised.) I... wow! Okay. I... didn't know that. That's genuinely surprising. What was he li-

Daisy
My dad, he was this black-haired chubby biker. Called himself "The Big Guy". He fucked off when I was seven. Got on his motorbike and never came back. Said he was "making an investment". I think mom kicked him out, said he was going to too many strip clubs.

Dryce:
Our parents suck.

Daisy:
Correction... our parents SUCKED.

The news of my infant-age torture brings awash a feeling of comprehension. I'm surprised, but somehow it already makes sense.

Dryce:
Was she mean to everyone?

Daisy:
No, she sucked up to all of the adults. She cared a lot what they thought about her, but only the superficial stuff she could fix in the bathroom. Never anything real that was under the surface. She was mostly just mean to kids. Especially little ones.

Dryce:
(Wincing at himself.) She sounds like some kind of, uh... vampire.

Daisy:
You could say that. Pretty much anyone who lives off the suffering of another is a vampire.

Dryce:
Uh... yeah, you could say that.

Daisy:
Yeah. Anyway, I've gotta get going to work. I'll see you later. Hugs and kisses!

She hung up. For her to say "hugs and kisses" was unusual, because she was notoriously distant when it came to touch. I didn't mind it. I wondered for a moment what made me a vampire. Whose suffering I lived off of. Who suffers when you eat nothing but plants?

Failed Attempts
8:00

I was really set-off by the dream I'd had, and talking it out didn't make me feel any better. So when I found Lian Mu eating alone at a bench, I decided I was going to do what she said I should have: kiss her back. It was a disaster. I sat down next to her, and waited for her to finish her food. Then I went in as soon as she was done, and she burped on my face. Then she asked me what the hell I was thinking, and I tried to explain I was just "going for it" like she said I should. She shook her head and decided I obviously had some kind of romantic disability, or a sexual handicap. Dick aspergers?
I reminded her that we were "like, twelve".
She said "you know what I mean! Your brain doesn't work right or something, I'm sorry I even tried with you."
It made my stomach fall through the ground. Suddenly, I was the cat in the garage who couldn't see straight or walk right. Suddenly, I was at risk of being put down. Then she put her hair up, and put a hat on. It shocked me, because when she did, she looked exactly like one of the boys on my team.
I said, "Oh, wow. All that aside, you look just like Meng from my baseball team."
She stared at me, and just started laughing. "Holy shit," she cried, "you really ARE retarded. I AM Meng, dipshit. That's just what the guys call me. You really couldn't tell who I was?!"
I stared at her, at him. At Lian Mu, at Meng. Oh my fucking GOD. I really AM retarded. I always paint myself as this hyper-intelligent misunderstood genius, but I think the truth is that I'm just too complicated to see how stupid I really am. I just started crying.
She shook her head, her face soft with pity – but not sympathy. "I can't feel bad for you, I'm sorry. I don't have that kind of time."