When I looked into the mirror this morning, I felt my SAN points dropping.

People have called me many things, including tomboy and possessing no womanly qualities, but I'm all but ugly. Alright, it may be true that I have disheveled short hair like a boy's and my body is on the athletic muscular side since I'm a member of the track and field club, and that my interests have been aligned with those of boys ever since my grade school days, and I'm only reading shounen manga, and I get overly excited during hot-blooded tokusatsu shows and events, even though I'm already in my second year of high school...

Now that I listed everything one after another, I feel depressed. But... BUT! I'm not ugly! In fact, several people already confessed to me during middle and high school (even though they were all, without exception, my cute female kouhai), so I could even be considered handsome.

... the fact that I can only use an adjective almost exclusively used to refer to the male half of the population to describe myself, rather than say "beautiful", somehow hurts more than it should have.

I sigh and the gurgling noise that comes out instead shakes me awake from my self-loathing inner monologue. I look into the mirror again and nearly scream at the thing that looks back. It's something that would be blurred out by mosaic when shown on TV, but even that would be an understatement. It's something every Ultra Warrior would be fighting with all their heart to banish from Earth.

Actually, why is this mirror framed in gold? I don't remember my bathroom having something this gaudy. Did my dad bring a souvenir from one of his business trips again? In fact, this doesn't look like my bathroom at all! Everything looks really expensive all of a sudden. The floor and wall tiles are of beautiful black marble with white veins. The bathtub changed into a cast stand-alone tub made of solid bronze, with fittings of gold. How did this happen overnight? (Averting my eyes from the main problem complete!)

Now that I think about it, I don't seem to remember last night too well. I came back from an inter-high contest - of course, I placed first, who do you think I am? - and was completely exhausted, so I had dinner, took a bath and... hm? I don't remember going to bed, but I woke up in a bed this morning. Well, I guess I was just so tired that I wasn't really conscious at the time. Maybe I slept longer than a day? But why would my bathroom change in that time either way? It's not like my parents are affluent enough to just do a quick upgrade as a surprise to me. For now, it would be best to find my parents and ask them. I can't make sense of this situation on my own anyway.

But when I walk into my bedroom, it has changed, too. I admit, I did sleepwalk out of my bed into the en suite bathroom since I'm unexpectedly the type to be weak in the mornings - it's cute alright? Anything wrong with that? If you have complaints, keep them to yourself! - so I didn't take note of my surroundings. But what's this? Why do I have a canopy bed? Why does my room look as gaudy as my bathroom? Actually, it would seem my six-tatami room has expanded to more than five times its size, too.

"Chaos-sama, excuse me." A knock and a voice from beyond the door, belonging to a girl, stops me dead in my tracks. Then the door opens and a maid with short ash-gray hair enters without waiting for my response. She sees me and her facial features change to one of horror for a split second, before her expressionless facade returns and she bows. Ah-ah, I'm ugly, aren't I? Hm, wait, did she just call me Chaos-sama? I'm not a chuunibyou who would get happy at being called that, you know? I'm not!

"I will be cleaning your room. Your breakfast is ready and your parent is waiting downstairs." She passes me by and I spot something that should not be there, coming out of a triangular hole right above where her butt is underneath the maid outfit: A thick scaly tail curved downwards. If it was a dog, I would have said that it's scared. No no no, wait, this isn't the time to analyze animal behavior patterns. This maid has a tail!

Let's not think about it too much. This must be cosplay. Yep, let's leave it at that.

I exit my room and walk into a hallway that matches the design of my room. I'm now convinced this isn't my house, and that something happened to me tonight. In either case, I feel hungry and my parent is waiting for me. I question the fact that it's a single one, not two, but maybe my father left for a business trip again. Yes, I still hold onto the slim hope that this is all just an elaborate prank, anything wrong with that?

Now, I need to find wherever my parent is waiting for me. I realize that this must be a giant mansion from how the hallway extends in both directions for a fair bit, but there is something bothering me about the architecture: There are windows in the hallway, but there was none in my room. The window I used to talk to my childhood friend next door is gone! Well, considering the circumstances, it might be safe to say that that childhood friend is also gone. No wait, I won't go down that road yet. This is all just in my head!

But when I look outside the window what greets me is a sight beautiful and terrifying at the same time. The mansion must be located on a hill, because a sprawling city extends from below me, consisting of a foreign architecture completely unlike any I've seen before. It's of a dark beauty, with sloped roofs and black roof tiles, dark gray walls and darkened windows. Actually, what's with all those dark colors? It's depressing! The terrifying part is that the sky filled with black clouds seems to be looming right over me, as if ready to unload a lightning storm on my head - and that beyond the city's tall walls is a barren wasteland with jutting black rock formations.

This isn't even Japan anymore, oi!

Is it that? Where you get transported to a different world in your sleep? But then why would my appearance change? Wait, don't tell me I died in my sleep and reincarnated instead? Then how am I grown already? I mean, I can walk and all, and my point of view is taller than that of the maid's. Actually, I'm tall for a girl and the volleyball and basketball clubs in high school all asked me to join. But if I'm reincarnated, then shouldn't I start out as a baby? I don't have any knowledge or memories about this place at all, but if I'm at the same age as I was in my previous life, I'll be facing a lot of difficulties.

Let's get to my parent first, whoever it is. I find a staircase while walking along the hallway in thought, so this should lead me to the dining room. Will I appear odd if I start opening doors at random to find the right room? Actually, there's no need for that, because it's very obviously this double-winged door here. I push it open and find a large hall with a long mahogany table. Countless chairs with tall backrests stand in perfect order, and at the very end of the table sits a woman in a white dress which reveals a lot of cleavage, with bluish-gray skin, long flowing purple hair and a pair of curved horns extending from her forehead. Her eyes are inverted in color, with white irises and black sclera. What's with that, it's scary!

"Good morning, Chaos-chan. It would seem you have gained a consciousness." Her voice is that of an alluring mature woman's. "But you have not chosen your appearance yet, huh? Well, there is enough time for that later. For now, you need to eat a lot."

Yes, mama, I'm quite hungry!

I instinctively know that this is my mother. But why are our appearances so different? I'm something I don't even want to begin to describe, but she's a real beauty. That's so unfair! That aside, she just said something very strange and very interesting. "Gained a consciousness" suggests that I didn't have one before this morning. So all is good? It doesn't explain anything though...

I'm having difficulties choosing where to sit, but my mother gestures to the seat right next to her, so I make my way there. Just when I sit down, she rings a small bell and servants enter from the side doors pushing in carts carrying silver trays with corresponding covers. A big one is placed in front of me and I eagerly await it being opened - then I realize that I have no mouth, and I must eat.

But before I can ask my mother how to eat, the cover is lifted. What greets me is a small plume of steam and underneath it the face of a man. The eyes are rolled back in their sockets and the skin is the pinkish color of steamed but not well-done meat. It's a severed head. As if to add insult to injury, another servant lifts the head's skullcap to show off the brain. Yes, what a lovely color!

I have no mouth, and I must scream!

"Please call upon us right away, if there is anything you need, Maou-sama." A maid with a pair of bat wings extending from her lower back area states with a bow and retreats. I almost missed it over the shock of seeing a human head and its contents being presented to me on a silver platter. Well, this looks really well-made, almost like the real thing. Not that I'd know what the real thing looks like. This is that, right? A cake shaped like a human head, with...

Wait... Maou? As in, demon lord? Mama, what big horns you have!

No no no, there's something wrong about this situation. The pattern for these reincarnations is that I'll become a hero or something, and live a life like the protagonist of a shounen ecchi harem story. I'm having a zany nightmare, aren't I? Time to wake up by pinching myself.

If only I had hands to do so. I've been putting it off since the beginning, but my appearance is something I preferred not to describe. However, now that it's come to this, I have to. You see, I do have an overall humanoid appearance, including arms and legs and a distinct neck and head. But my arms and legs are composed of countless tentacles, and those don't usually have nails at their ends to pinch with. Furthermore, the face I've seen in the mirror is one even a mother wouldn't love. Well, unless that mother is the demon lord of course, what was I thinking? My face? I have no mouth. That's all there is to say about that.

"Chaos-chan, you must be wondering how you can eat without a mouth, right?" My mother asks in an understanding tone. Before her is a plate with the same content, but rather than a man's, it's a woman's head. How I can tell? She's still wearing ear-rings. In fact, those ears seem kind of long and pointy... an elf?

"Here, mama will show you." And without further ado, she lifts the elf's head and hugs it to her cleavage. The next moment, the head begins to disappear into her body. What? A party trick? "Ah, quite delicious." Wait, please give me a step by step breakdown. Else it'll end like those where people get some important things stuck somewhere because of unclear instructions. "But I do not like this." From her chest, the bare skull of the elf pops out and falls into her palm, along with the earrings. She places the leftovers on the tray and a servant immediately collects it, while another brings a new tray. This one contains hands.

I bring my eyes down to the head in front of me. Mama, if you have me eat heads, at least give me beautiful elven ones, too. Well, no harm in trying it out. It's a dream after all ha ha ha...