As I floated helplessly the eagle made a low pass directly over my head. “I’ve already told you; I am what you are, and you are what I am. Now, enough of your fooling about. You need to lose those wings and get to shore. We must get you dried off and get the hell out of here before the authorities show up. Either go back to your human form or assume your alternate. Either way, take the form of something that can swim.”

I was getting annoyed now. “I don’t know what you mean by ‘lose’ these wings. I don’t even know where they came from. I can’t control them. And ‘you are what I am’? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you an angel too?”

The eagle screeched in what almost sounded like laughter. “An angel? Are you trying to be funny?”

I was getting annoyed at being chided by this eagle, but I was in no position to argue with it. Instead I said “Wait, you mean we’re not angels? I’m not dead? Then what...”

The eagle interrupted me. “Look, this is no time for your clever jokes. You need to get to shore now. It’s bad enough that you let yourself be seen. If they catch you there will be hell to pay.”

“Who the hell are ‘they’?” I asked.

“Those humans, you fool! As soon as those idiots that chased you over that cliff get back to civilization there are going to be human police crawling all over this mountain and flying those stupid, noisy helicopter things of theirs all over this valley.”

This was getting even more bizarre.  “What do you mean by ‘humans’? I happen to be human, in case you haven’t noticed! And it’s a good thing that they’re coming! Maybe those bastards will go to jail after I tell the cops what they did!” 

“Oh, you’re human too, are you?”, the eagle scoffed. “Funny, I don’t remember seeing many humans with a pair of three-metre-long wings sprouting from their backs. I’m going to guess that they haven’t either. I’ve spent enough time around humans to know that they’re going to have questions about those wings. Are you looking forward to answering them?” 

I thought about this for a moment. The eagle had me there but if I’m not human, what in the hell am I?

The eagle could see that I was starting to be confused, so it said “Right, then, off to shore with you. Over that way, away from that cliff face. Quickly as you can.” 

I tried to swim a few strokes but it was useless. The wings trailing behind me were creating too much drag. “I can’t”, I said. “I can’t move.”

“Well then your choices are simple. Either revert to your human form and lose the wings or assume your alternate”, said the eagle. 

“I don’t know how to ‘lose’ my wings! I can’t even move them! Up until a few minutes ago I didn’t even have the fucking things!” 

The eagle circled back around and looked at Daecon carefully. “Are you kidding me? How could you not know how to use your wings? And at your age, too. Wait, just how old are you?” 

“I’m 25”, I said defiantly. I was really starting to dislike this eagle, and I was hoping that once the eagle realized that I’m not a child, maybe it would stop talking to me as though I was one. 

The eagle said, “That’s impossible....”

 It made a few more circles, obviously thinking. A faint sound in the distance brought a new urgency to the problem: Sirens. The hillbillies must have gotten to where they had cellular coverage and called for help. 

“Ok, enough of this”, it muttered. “We’ve got to get you out of here, and I mean now. I can’t pick you up and carry you, with all that water and the drag from your wings you’ll be too heavy. There’s only one thing for it. Damn it, I do so hate getting wet...” 

With that it swooped back around and dove straight at me. Holy shit, was it going to attack me? I tried ducking but still couldn’t move due to these wings. I braced for impact, but just before it made contact it disappeared in a flash of light and a large object splashed into the water only few metres or so from me.

When the object resurfaced I was alarmed to see that it was an enormous brown bear swimming directly toward me. I started splashing furiously, futilely trying to get away from the carnivore. 

“Calm down”, the bear said, sounding annoyed. “It’s only me. Climb on my back, I’m going to take you to the shore. Just hang on. And don’t pull my hair.” 

Reluctantly, and with a huge effort, I pulled myself through the water and onto the bear’s back. “Wrap your arms around my neck. Just let your wings trail behind us, it will cause less drag. Now, then, let’s go!”, the bear said as it started swimming for shore.

I could feel the muscles working in the bear’s back and neck as we started making swift progress. This was a very powerful animal. Hopefully it was not a hungry one. 

As the bear dragged me toward the shore and with the danger of dying seemingly having passed for the moment I had time to process everything that had just happened. It seemed impossible to think that ten minutes ago I was in my Porsche being chased all through these mountains, and in that span of ten minutes I had been forced off a cliff, grown a pair of wings, and was being rescued by a sarcastic talking eagle that had just turned into a bear. I was feeling dizzy just trying to think about it all. 

As we neared the shore I felt a surge of speed from the bear. It was now walking on the lake’s bottom and was pushing through the water towards a naturally sandy beach with almost no effort. When it got to the water line it made a last heave to pull my soggy wings out of the water, then stood up on its hind legs and dumped me onto the sand. It was too big to even be possible. 

“Thanks”, I said, as I tried to pick myself up. If I was going to face a bear, even a talking bear, I’d rather it not be helpless and on my ass. It was useless though; those wet wings were too heavy, so I slumped back down. The bear grunted as it walked a short distance away, still on its hind legs. 

“I’m sorry for asking this again", I said, "But what are you?” 

The bear started shaking the water out of its fur. I was grateful that it had walked away before doing this – if it had stayed close I would have gotten even wetter than I was now, if it was even possible. 

“I’ve already told you twice”, the bear said as it stopped shaking.

With most of the water shaken out of its fur I could now see that it wasn’t really a brown bear. It was more like Kodiak bear, but its coat was full of many colours, mostly brown but with plenty of grey and black flecks. It was almost the same patterns as the eagle had in its feathers. It started walking toward me, still on its hind legs, and was now towering over me. 

“I am what you are, and you are what I am”, it repeated. 

With that I was forced to blink as there was another flash of light. When I opened my eyes again, I was shocked. The bear was gone, and there was no sign of the eagle either. Instead, there was a tall, thin, and very attractive middle aged man. He had short brown hair that was greying at the temples, a neatly trimmed goatee mottled with grey, and the irises of his eyes were a bright yellow – the same colour as the Eagle’s and bear’s were, I realized. The man was wearing a very well fitted brown tweed suit and was definitely the DILF type. I will freely admit it: Even though he was probably twice my age he was fucking hot. 

I yelled “Jesus Christ!” as the man casually walked past me and knelt beside my soggy wings. As the man walked past me I also noticed that the man’s ears had the same pointed shape as my own. 

“What are you, some kind of Animagus or something?” 

“No, I’m sorry, I can’t claim to be Jesus Christ”, the man said wryly as he started manipulating my wings. “As for whether I’m an ‘Animagus’, I’m afraid that I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve never heard the term.”

 “Oh, shit, sorry. An animagus is a wizard that can change into an animal through magic. It’s from Harry Potter. Wait... What are you doing?”, I asked.

 “I’m afraid I’ve never read or watched Harry Potter, nor have I heard of an Animagus. I’m simply checking your wings for injuries. There must be some reason you can’t seem to use them. Tell me, can you feel this?”

 The man started moving my wings back and forth, opening and closing the joints with his hands. They had been snow white before, but full of water the feathers were almost transparent, making it easy to see the wings’ structure. I felt nothing as he watched the wing being moved.

 “No”, I said. “And Harry Potter is a story about a child named Harry Potter who discovers that he’s a wizard and goes to school to learn magic. Some of those wizards can change into animals, and they’re called Animagus. I read all the books when I was a kid”.

 “Hmmm... And this Harry Potter story... is it a true story?” the man asked as he continued working with my wings.

 I laughed. “No, it’s fiction, of course. But a lot of kids grew up wishing that it was true.”

 “I see”, the man said as he worked his way along the wing’s structure toward my back. “And am I to assume that you were one of those children?”

 “What? No! I mean, well, yes. Maybe. When I was younger. I was so lonely and unhappy that I would have wished for anything to take me out of the place I grew up in. A letter from Hogwarts would have been a dream come true.”

 “But you now realize that it was fiction.”

 “Of course! I’m not a kid anymore.”

 “And yet you just asked me if I was an ‘Animagus’.”

“Yeah, well, you can change into animals, can’t you? Until a few minutes ago I’d have called that fiction, too.”

“Oh yes, but I assure you that I am no wizard, and neither are you. Although I have never read those books myself, I am vaguely familiar with the story of Harry Potter. We Shifters are fully aware of human pop culture, and our children have read the books and watched the movies just like you have. You need to realize, though, that wizards aren’t even real, at least in the sense of... OH!”

I nearly jumped out of my skin. “What? What’s wrong?”

“I’ve just realized, you have both wings and arms!” 

“I'm glad that you've noticed,” I said sarcastically. "You can bet that nobody is more surprised than I am!" 

“No, no, it's not that. There are many animal forms that Shifters can take, but they all involve keeping the same number of limbs. Shifting into a bird results in two wings and two legs. Shifting into mammals means two front legs and two hind legs. This means that... Oh, my God...”

 “What? What does it mean? And what are you talking about, 'Shifters’?” 

The man considered me for a moment before replying. He had a very worried look on his face. “This means that you weren’t lying. I thought you were just being an idiot, showing off, and that you somehow got ‘stuck’ shifting between forms. This was not just a mere incomplete shift, though. Oh, this changes everything.”

 “Of course I wasn’t lying! Do you think I’d be kidding while falling off a god-damned cliff?”

 The man stood up and started pacing back and forth nervously. “Oh, this isn’t good. This isn’t good at all. I wasn’t expecting any of this. This is beyond my skills as a Healer. I’m not prepared. I...”

 I was becoming irritated again. “Listen! I’ve had just about enough of your secrecy and weirdness! I want answers, and you seem to have at least some of them! Who are you? What the hell is going on? And if you feed me that ‘I am what you are and you are what I am’ bullshit again I swear to God I’ll...”

I didn’t really have a way to finish this sentence. I’ll what? I could hardly even move, what with these soggy, useless wings dragging behind myself, and this guy could change into a bear, an eagle, and only God knows what else.

 The man stopped pacing and looked at me. His agitated look had softened, and in its place was a look of concern.

 “Well?” I asked, impatiently.

 “I don’t even know where to begin”, the man said as he walked over and started spreading my feathers out on the beach.

“How about your name, first?", I asked. "And then you can tell me what you’re doing with my wings there, and after that, I don’t know, how about you tell me what it is that you are and that I supposedly am too?