Lucas

With no other choice, Nero and I follow Ben out the back door to the patio and down the steps toward the cement wall surrounding the property. Waves of tension permeate the surrounding air, and with every stiff step he takes, my hackles rise as my body prepares for what will undoubtedly be an unpleasant conversation. Not only is Ben an observant bastard, but he’s also a relentless know-it-all who takes pleasure in getting all up in everyone’s business out of some twisted sense of duty. The way I’m acting, what he’s seen since he arrived… he’s not going to let this go, which means the only way this will end is with my fist planted squarely in his face, given I refuse to betray Embree’s confidence by telling him what’s going on.

“What the fuck do you want, Ben? Just spit it the fuck out so we can get on with it and move the hell on.”

“Quit being such a dick. I asked you out here because I’m worried about you,” he retorts over his shoulder without slowing his pace. “You’re spiraling, man. And as your friend, it’s my job to ensure you don’t lose sight of what’s important.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

With a deep scowl, he turns to face me. “You need to talk about it.”

“Talk about what? What the hell are you getting at?” I feign ignorance, even as the fury that’s been simmering in my gut over the past few weeks boils over.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe about the fact that the woman you love and came back to reclaim is now pregnant with her ex-husband’s child.” His arms extend out to his sides, and like I’ve been slapped in the face, my eyes snap to his. “She told your sister, who then told me.”

“She shouldn’t have said a goddamned word! It’s no one’s business but Emilia’s.”

“Emilia… huh.” He cocks his head to the side. “Is that what you’re calling her now?” He has the nerve to smirk at me.

That he’s taking pleasure in pissing me the hell off, only reaffirms I shouldn’t give him the reaction he wants. Schooling my features into a mask of indifference, I stare at him. When he realizes I’m not going to respond, he continues.

“Look, it’s okay to have mixed feelings about it and to want to track the motherfucker down so you can bleed him dry. God knows if it was your sister, I’d burn the world to the ground to find him so I could torture him bloody and then present his mutilated cock at her feet.”

Refusing to accept the dark thoughts ruminating in my head as anything close to acceptable, I shake my head. “No, you wouldn’t, because you love her and the only thing that matters in a situation like this is doing what’s best for her.”

“Then you’re a better man than me,” he mumbles under his breath, as he turns to continue walking along the perimeter wall. Like mine, his head is on a constant swivel as we both scan the area for threats while noting the various cameras and sensor lights that confirm the security system is operational.

When we make it to the front of the property, he stops me. “If I were in your shoes, I don’t know what I’d do.” With eyes cast down toward the ground in front of him, he shakes his head. “Whatever you decide, just know I’m here. Whatever you need, whether it’s help stringing the fucker up, or just simply someone to commiserate and drown your sorrows with, I’m here for you, man. No questions asked. No matter what. Even if you decide this is too much and choose to walk away, I have your back. Always.”

His unwavering honesty and support alleviates some of the weight constricting my chest and sets my mind at ease. It’s exactly what I needed to hear, and serves as validation that what I’m feeling isn’t selfish, but a natural reaction to a fucked up situation that’s outside of my control.

“I can’t leave her, Ben. As much as this is tearing me up inside, the thought of being without her is unfathomable. Yet, with each passing day, I’m finding it harder and harder to be around her, not because I don’t love her, but because I don’t want her to see this anger and innate hatred that’s consuming me. I don’t want her to know that I don’t want this. That I’d give anything for that night between them to not have happened. That I wish to fucking Christ, that kid was mine and not that bastard’s.”

With so much emotion bleeding out of me at once, I drop my head as my voice breaks. “How am I supposed to watch his kid grow inside of her? It was one thing to adopt the girls, but this? How are we supposed to be together, when every time I look at that child, I’ll think of the day I failed her?”

Jesus Christ, it fucking hurts. Spewing all my fears out loud into the world for the universe to hear cuts me to the quick. It guts me to think I may never be able to love this child, or worse yet, that she’ll notice and, in turn, stop loving me because of it. How could I blame her for what kind of man holds the sins of the father against an innocent child?

“I wish I had an answer for you, but there is not a man in this world who wouldn’t be asking himself those same questions. That being said, you were right about this one thing. To men like us, the women we love take precedence over our selfish needs. We’re protectors by nature. Give us a situation where we have to go to the ends of hell to protect the ones we love, and we will walk into that fire each and every time regardless of how much it burns.

"Shit seems dire right now, I get it, but if there’s anyone in this world who can find a way to love this kid, to bring it into the fold and protect it as your own, it’s you, Lucas. Not just because it’s who you are, but because that kid is a part of her. Because those kids are her entire fucking world, you’ll see to it that they’re happy, loved, and protected. For her, there’s no doubt in my mind you will find a way.”

“And what if he comes back? What if, after everything is done and resolved, he returns to reclaim the family that’s rightfully his?”

With an adamant shake of his head, he scoffs. “You can’t really think that after everything he’s done, she’d turn around and choose him over you?”

“They now have three children together.”

“Wrong dumbass. In case you’ve forgotten, those girls are yours, just as this baby could be, too. That man walked away from them, Lucas. He abandoned them in the worst possible way, after sacrificing them and leaving them at the mercy of the evil scum who are after him, and he did it all in the name of vengeance.”

Stepping towards me, he pokes an angry finger at my chest. “If there’s one thing I know about you, there is no way in hell you’ll ever allow him close enough to hurt them again. The choice is simpler than you think. You can walk away, or you can make them yours. Either way, whatever you decide, your sister and I will be there to help take care of them… and you. All five of you, together or apart. You have my word. That goes regardless of whatever you decide.”

“She’s cutting me out. Slowly, she’s pulling us apart. She used to wait for me so we could eat dinner together as a family. She used to let me give them their baths and would wait for me to help tuck them into bed at night. Now, she’s doing everything she can to cut me out of their daily routine, like she’s preparing for me to no longer be a part of their lives.”

Sighing, he turns his back to me, his shoulders sagging with the same bone-deep exhaustion consuming me. After a few seconds, he turns to me and, with a look of understanding, says, “From what I’ve seen tonight, it looks to me like you’re doing the same. You’re both so focused on preparing for the end that you’re letting this one last chance at happiness slip through your fingers. You’re both busy erecting walls to protect your hearts from an end that’s not yet written in stone. 

“But it will be, Lucas. Mark my words, if you don’t find a way to turn this around soon, it will be too late. The only way to get to that happily ever after you both deserve is through. If you really want it, I suggest you push through this, Lucas. It’s time to choose. Now. And if the choice is HER, then you better make it damn clear she has to choose YOU, too.”

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Author’s Note:

Lucas's emotions are so raw in this chapter, as are Ben's.

Are you surprised that Ben has offered his support to Lucas, regardless of his decision to be there for Embree and the kids? 

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