BITTERSWEET | Truth

Yuri exits the bathroom of his dorm, hair still damp from the shower, as the steam seeps out into the open room. He plops down on his bed, and a sigh of exhaustion leaves his mouth. 

“Midterms are finally over.”

Yuri turns over on his side as the screen of his phone illuminates his face. His thumbs tap on the surface as he sends a message to Ren.

'Hey, how were midterms?'

'Hello'

'I think I did pretty well.'

'How about you?'

Yuri tries his best to snuff out a laugh, but even after having known Ren for more than a year, Ren still texts like a robot.

'I’m sure you aced them. You’re always studying after all.'

'Not sure about myself though.'

'What’d you think of the Calc 3 exam?'

'The professor is insane.'

'75 questions…'

'Brain still hurts.'

Ren adds the wrong emoji at the end of his message, and when he quickly corrects it with the sobbing emoji attached, a short laugh slips out of Yuri’s mouth as he imagines how flustered Ren must be by the mistake. 

As he types his response, Sho, who’s lying in the bed across from him, looks up from his Nintendo Switch screen. 

“What’s so funny?”

Yuri looks over at his roommate, unaware that he’d made any noise, and Sho looks back to his game as he speaks with an amused tone.

“With the way you’re looking, I’d think you were texting some girl or something.”

“Oh, like when you’re texting Holly?” Yuri quickly counters.

“Huh? No, like, Not. It—not that kind—” He gets tongue-tied, and Yuri sends him a smirk. Sho gives up as he says, “You know what, never mind. I’m going to sleep.” As he turns toward the wall, he can hear Yuri laughing at him.

Not much time passed before Sho was once again speaking.

“Hey, Yuri.”

“I thought you were going to sleep. What?”

“Are you and Ren dating?”

“What?”

The question pulls Yuri away from his phone, and when he turns his head, he’s met with Sho’s firm expression.

“I know Ren likes you. That part is obvious. And if I’m right, I’m guessing he already confessed to you, too.” Sho took Yuri’s silent stare as confirmation before he continued. “Between the time you two stopped talking to each other for months … and that rumor … Yuri, what happened between you two?”

Sho had heard awful things regarding Ren’s sexuality coming out in the past, but after getting to know him personally, his generosity and honest character were far from the lies that were circulating.

He wasn’t one to pry, but Sho wasn’t naive either. He sees the gaze Ren has when Yuri’s around, and the evident flush on his face. On the other hand, Yuri was the kind to be bold with certain aspects of himself, so it would outshine the things he’s not ready to admit or wants to hide.

But eyes don’t lie, and Sho sees right through him.

Sho sits up from his bed, planting both feet on the ground while his elbows rest over his knees. His head leans up to view Yuri, who lies on the other side of the room, and asks the one question he’s been wondering this whole time.

“Does Tsubaki know?” 

✻ ✻ ✻

The soccer team is in the middle of a home match when the referee blows the whistle for the half-time intermission. The team spreads out to their respective sidelines to take their fifteen-minute break before the start of the final half, recuperating their energy as they clean off sweat and rehydrate.

While the coach and manager discuss strategy, Tsubaki notices the weight of Holly’s high ponytail beginning to drag itself down. In that same second, she pulls the hair tie out completely, letting her loose auburn curls flow freely before pulling it all back at once to retie into a quick, low, and stable bun. 

He then mutters out loud, “Wow, she’s pretty....” 

The comment catches the attention of his teammates, who jump at the chance to tease him.

“Huh? Does Tsubaki like our manager?”

“He said she was prettyyy—”

“What?” Tsubaki flusters. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. Seriously.”

“Suuure, whatever you say, man.”

Tsubaki pulls the towel over his face and lets out a sigh as the sound of his teammates chuckling among each other fills his ears.

When it comes to Holly, he’d say she was much more laid back than first impressions would do her justice. Although her facial expressions are sharp and seemingly not the most welcoming, he never once thought she didn't fit in around the guys. She dressed comfortably, just like any grad student trying to get through the last year of her program would—even if it meant wearing the same hoodie for two weeks straight.

However, regardless of the way she dressed, Holly already had an undeniable beauty to her. With stunning red curls that were always styled up, tanned skin that glistened in the sun, and eyes bright like champagne, she garnered quite the attention from male peers—despite her indifference.

“Well, not that it matters.” His teammate smirked. “Right, Captain?”

The team turns their head to Sho.

“Hey, don’t tease him too much,” another player chuckled, swatting him with the towel in his hand.

Tsubaki feels like he’s not understanding something and looks for clarity. When Sho sees Tsubaki’s pleading eyes stare at him, he lets out a sigh and answers blatantly.

“Holly’s not into guys. She’s a lesbian.”

A single “oh” leaves Tsubaki’s mouth, and Sho sighs into his palm.

“Isn’t it such a waste?” he emotionally croaks, and his teammates surround him, placing a gentle hand on his back as a show of sympathy.

“We understand, Captain,” they all say in unison.

Tsubaki lets out a chuckle at the dramatic scene and turns to Yuri, who has been quietly sitting on the bench nearby.

“Did you also know? About Holly.”

“Yeah,” Yuri says, brief and almost distant, as the towel lays over his head. Tsubaki feels the tense atmosphere and decides to give him space. 

“He’s probably just focused on the game.”

He makes eye contact with Sho, who’s also looking in Yuri’s direction. Tsubaki's concern is silently portrayed through his gaze, but Sho just shakes his head, and it leaves him feeling astray.

The announcer calls for the start of the second half of the match, and the coach rallies the team onto the playing field. Yuri won’t look Tsubaki’s way, his eyes dark and absent, and the referee blows the whistle to begin the game.

Tsubaki has played alongside him for years. He knows his every movement like the back of his hand. When he gets passed the ball off tempo, he has to make up for it since their positions go hand-in-hand, and the whole gameplay can become sloppy. But the two of them have never been this out of sync before.

“Yuri, what the hell is going on?”

“The Fujisaki Pair seems to be off,” Coach remarks. 

Holly looks to the scoreboard and sees that they’re in a tie with the opposing team. “At this rate, we’ll be going into overtime.”

Tsubaki’s hair sticks to his forehead, drenched with sweat. His eyes dart around the field, and he finds the team struggling to take back the ball. He spots Yuri, his steps staggering to keep up with his opponent. 

Yuri’s in two places at once. He can’t keep track of his physical movements as his mind falls behind. As he’s running on the field, trying to get ahead of the opponent, his mind goes back to last night.

“Does Tsubaki know?”

Sho’s words echo in his head, and for a moment, it’s all he hears, along with the rapid pounding in his chest. 

Yuri zones out midplay and doesn’t hear his name being yelled out until it’s too late. He looks up just as the soccer ball hits him directly in the face, the impact causing him to see stars, and he hits the ground under him. 

When he tries to open his eyes, sounds of buzzing mixed with incoherent voices echo through his consciousness. It quickly becomes a blur in his state of delirium before it all goes dark.

Yuri’s head pounds when he finds himself waking up in the campus infirmary. His body squirms under the sheets of the bed when a voice speaks.

“Oh, you’re alive.”

He looks over with a squint and makes out the familiar honey-brown hair, and his vision clears to show Tsubaki sitting at his bedside. Yuri tries to get up but feels lightheaded, so Tsubaki pushes him to lie back down. 

“You were dehydrated under all the hot sun. And then when the ball hit you, your nose started gushing out blood nonstop—it was actually quite horrifying,” Tsubaki humors.

“How embarrassing…” Yuri groans, and he asks, “Did we win?”

“Nah.”

“Fuck.”

Tsubaki chuckles, “Don’t worry. We still have a chance to enter the end-of-year championship. All the girls in the crowd were worried about you. Some even started crying…” Tsubaki’s voice becomes sincere when he ends with, “The whole team was worried, really.”

Yuri shifts in place, unsure if the tension pounding in his head was from his prior injury or the fleeting thoughts that have been provoking him all day.

“You and Ren seem to be getting along really well lately,” he comments, suddenly changing the subject. 

Tsubaki looks at him, eyebrows slightly knit as Yuri lies there in the infirmary bed with an arm slung over his face. The room goes quiet as the atmosphere Yuri created goes rigid. 

There’s a heavy pressure pushing down into Yuri’s chest as he hides his gaze and asks, “Do you like Ren?”

Out of the thousand questions prowling his mind, this was the one that slipped past his lips, but he never anticipated Tsubaki’s quick answer.

“Yeah, I do.” 

Tsubaki’s words came off smoothly with no hesitation, leaving Yuri speechless in the other’s confidence.

“How about you, Yuri? Do you also like Ren?”

Yuri becomes still as Tsubaki sits there soundly, head tilted and eyes peering into his with poise. The sun’s rays crept through the curtains of the room, bringing emphasis to the deep pool of caramel hue in his eyes, and Yuri may have realized then that Tsubaki must have wept by himself earlier based on the slightly red and swollen under bags.

In the moment it takes Yuri to absorb his friend's words, he feels a certain aura in Tsubaki’s presence. The confirmation in his body language; the encouragement in his slight smile, and the assurance in his eyes.

Everything comes to enlightenment, and a sound escapes Yuri’s lips. He hides his face back underneath his forearm as he begins to laugh out loud. The echo of the small space filled with just the two of them washed over all of his defenses.

“Yeah....” His voice trails as he finally shows his face to his best friend. He knew deep down Tsubaki’s words didn’t come from the same place as his, and so did Tsubaki. It all came down to that extra push of clarity and validation Tsubaki gave for Yuri to come out and say, “I like Ren, too.”