I clear the summer weeds from the hole in the chain-link fence before I slide under and through. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had to use my hidden secret way out of the compound, and the weeds have taken the opportunity to do what they do best. But it’s actually good, because it means they help hide the hole when I’m not using it. The hole that I painstakingly clipped with a wire cutter a few years ago so I could get out of the compound without anyone knowing. The last thing I need is someone to find it and repair it without me knowing. It would suck to show up here and be denied my usual exit to freedom.

There’s a strict rule about pack members leaving the compound. It’s supposedly for our own good and to keep us safe and other boring and stupid reasons. They want to keep us separate from the humans, to stop us from intermingling, but joke’s on them. The humans’ inters have definitely been mingled by me.

Anyway, I have shit to do that has nothing to do with this pack, which was why I made this secret way out. On the other side I quickly dash out of sight of the compound, and once I know I’m safe and no one’s watching, wolf or human, I shift into my wolf form. A quick shake of my fur and to get rid of any cobwebs, and then I take off.

Nothing feels better than racing through the woods as a wolf.

Nothing, Margot? Really? Not the mouth of a certain man? Oh, sorry—men?

I give a small bark and pick up speed, trying to get my thoughts clear. I leap over a log like I’m some sort of puppy from a dog food commercial. Not only is the run freeing, it’s also incredibly normal, too, and I’m craving normalcy since my batshit experiences yesterday at the funeral and after.

But that day is over and I’m decidedly not thinking about it, or what happened, and definitely not thinking about the Tripdick and their lips or their hands or any other parts of their bodies.

No. Instead all I’m thinking about is the ground beneath my feet, the scents intertwining through the trees, the autumn breeze tumbling through my fur. It’s luscious. It’s beautiful. It’s the here and now and there’s not room for anything else but this.

There are some wolves who spend almost their whole lives in wolf form and at times like this, I’m jealous of them. I could live like that too, if I wanted. It could be a choice I could make.

But then I remember how much I like pizza. And TV. And not being rained on, and I know that a full-time wolf lifestyle is not for Margot Solus.

The run is over too soon and as I approach the edge of the woods I’m forced to slow to a walk and use my nose to find my special tree stump. As a wolf, my sense of smell is so much stronger than anything else, it’s just easier to rely on it most of the time rather than my eyes.

At the tree stump I reluctantly shift back into my human form. The stump hides my backpack along with extra sets of clothing, and I change quickly so no one sees a naked me getting dressed in the trees. That is the type of attention I definitely don’t need and would definitely end my time in the human world.

When I’m fully dressed and ready, I walk out of the woods and along a road for a bit until I reach the bus stop. The bus is right on time, and a few moments later I’m riding to the Bitterlands Campus for the first day of classes.

I can’t help my giant grin when I step off the bus and onto campus, which is bustling beneath a bright blue Montanna sky. It’s my happy place, being here. I’ve been sneaking off to college for two years now, and yeah, I’ll be screwed if anyone from the pack ever finds out, but the risk is worth it. I’ll get a degree, which will help me get a job out in the human world, and then with that I can get the hell out of the Silvercrest pack once and for all. I won’t ever have to look back. I’m not sure how I’ll fare in the human world, but with everything I’ve been through with the pack, anything has to be better.

I walk down one of the brick paths of the campus, avoiding a group of human guys playing Frisbee. Wolves aren’t allowed to attend human schools at any point, not even as an adult. There’s no need to, because the Silvercrest pack has its own education system on the compound itself. That’s where all the pack members are educated, whether they want to be or not.

Count me in the latter group.

I hated going to the pack school. It was just a nightmare for me in general growing up. Let’s put all of the adolescent wolves who hate Margot together in one place and see how that goes for her.

Well, it goes pretty much exactly as expected.

I think the word you’re looking for is shitty.

So after surviving high school, I opted not to continue in the compound’s college system and joined the kitchens. Luckily, Odette works there and it gave me a somewhat flexible schedule to go to the Bitterlands campus after I enrolled. Attending school here and working toward my degree is easily the biggest secret I have.

Is it really, though? You sure about that?

I frown. Okay, so maybe it’s no longer my biggest secret. It’s still top two, or maybe four, but I suppose that depends on whether kissing Ranveer, Leo, and Apollo yesterday counts as one secret or three individual secrets…

I shake my head and take a right at my next chance, heading for the building with my first class. It’s a lecture, and according to everyone else who goes to school here, lectures are the worst, but anything is better than pack school, so I’m just happy to be here even though I feel like this world isn’t mine either, as a werewolf.

The lecture hall is already filling with other students since everyone always shows up and shows up on time on the first day of class. I’m searching for a spot when I see a hand waving in my direction and then pointing at an empty seat beside her.

I smile and scurry over. Fern Jimenez is my only human friend, and she’s another huge perk of sneaking out and coming to school here. Of course, Fern doesn’t know what I am, so even though I consider her my friend, she’s really only as much of a friend as someone can be without knowing the truth about me.

Of course the only place you can be yourself is somewhere where you’re not allowed to be yourself.

I wish Fern and I could be the type of friends who tell each other everything, but that’s not possible. Not if I want to keep us both safe.

“Yes!” Fern exclaims when I slide into the seat next to her. We give each other a hug as best we can in the seats, me trying to avoid getting caught on her oversized golden hoop earrings. “You made it! I was starting to get worried that I’d have to give up your seat.”

“You know I hate to miss class,” I say.

“I know. I’m glad you’re here, though.” She flips a chunk of her long black hair over her shoulder. I’m always impressed at how put together she looks. Because I run part of the way here in wolf form, there’s only so much primping I can do for myself.

“I’d ask how your break went,” she continues, “but I know you won’t really tell me anything.”

I grin at her. “Nothing even to tell. All I did was work and wait for classes to start again.” It isn’t even a lie. Not really.

Fern laughs. “That’s so dull, Margot. This semester it is my goal to get you out to a party at least. We’ve only got two years left and I’ll be damned if you spend every moment here only studying. You’re not that nerdy.”

I press my finger to my chin and tilt my head. “I dunno…you sure I’m not that nerdy?”

Fern laughs and nudges me with her shoulder. “Oh, hey! Before I forget.” She reaches down by her feet and then pops up with a bag in her hand. “Ta-daaaa! Happy birthday, Margot! I’m sorry I missed it, but I wanted to get you something special.”

I gape at her, astonished. A birthday gift. She brought me a birthday gift. No one else got me anything. It isn’t really a wolf tradition to give gifts on birthdays, so this is honestly one of the first birthday gifts I’ve ever gotten.

“Fern…” I say, and I can feel tears trying to squeeze out of my eyes.

“No, no water works, girl. Just open it!” she says with a laugh.

I nod and pull out a small box. Inside is a tiny golden chain attached to a small book pendant.

I hold it up and smile. “Perfect for an English major.”

Fern smiles. “I know it’s cheesy, but I saw it and couldn’t resist.”

“It’s not cheesy at all. I love it. Truly. Will you help me put it on?”

“Of course! Turn your head.”

I do as she says, grabbing my hair and sliding it over my shoulder so she has better access to my neck.

Fern gasps. “Liar! You said you didn’t do anything over break but you totally got a tattoo!”

It actually takes me a moment to even understand what she said. And then I’m blinking rapidly and twisting my neck to look at her. “I got a what now?”