"I don't take up much space in my own apartment though, and I'd love to help a friend out!" I beamed.

"I don't want to be a burden," Atsutane said.

"You're never a burden! Just stay over for a night and see how you feel. We can go from there."

"Just one night then. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure I can find somewhere else. I could even go on a trip and stay farther away from my parents."

"Do you know where you want to go next?"

"I haven't figured that out yet... I could always visit somewhere I'm familiar with though."

After we chatted for a little longer, we decided to lock the bar up and sneak out the back, trying to avoid the car that Atsutane pointed out that the butler was driving. We made it safely away under the cover of darkness and found a taxi to take us home. We parted ways with Anzai in the hallway.

"You guys live so close, it's nice!" Atsutane commented.

"Yeah," I said, "it's nice to have my best friend just across the hall from me."

"You two get some rest," Anzai said. "See you in the morning."

I showed Atsutane around my small apartment, every room was practically just a few steps away from each other. It was decent for one person, but with two it could be a little cramped. I haven't really filled the space with a bunch of furniture or decorations though. When I was considering living at the bar, I was more focused on the decorations in that place than in my own home. I figured I'd only stop by my apartment to bathe or eat.

Thinking about how small these apartments were and my dream of wanting to move in with Anzai, we would probably have to move to make it work. Not that I'd mind being so close to him if the house was barely big enough...

"It's such a nice place!" Atsutane's comment sounded sarcastic to me.

"I bet you've seen much nicer places though, right?" I smirked.

"Well... Sure... But this place is nice because you're living here! It wouldn't be for me, but it's perfect for you and that's what matters."

"Sure... Just call me poor already..."

"No! I'm not trying to be mean!" He whined.

"I'm just joking. Did you need something to eat or drink before we get ready for bed?"

"I'm alright, thank you."

We took turns using the bath and I laid some blankets and pillows on the floor next to my bed. I wasn't sure where he wanted to sleep exactly since I also had a couch in the living room. He said the floor was fine and we got settled and turned the lights off.

There was a quiet moment as I stared up at the ceiling, thinking about the events of the day. Then Atsutane spoke.

"Have you ever been in a relationship, Narihira?"

"Nope..." I responded.

"So you've never kissed or been intimate with someone? How do you know you like people romantically?"

I hesitated. "Well, I've actually kissed someone before... But that was it. I know I liked him though because of the way I felt about him prior to that. He made me feel happy and hopeful. I wanted him to like me as much as I liked him. Nowadays I'm too busy with my bar and life in general to be in a relationship..." Although I secretly lamented the fact that I've never dated or gotten laid before.

"...It wasn't Anzai, was it?"

"Huh?! Of course it wasn't Anzai! What are you saying?!" I immediately leaned over the bed to look at him.

He was lying on his side, his chin propped up by his hand. He smiled sheepishly when our eyes met. "My bad. You two are super close friends, I wondered if there was more to that."

"No way! Anzai would never like me like that!"

"But do you like him like that?"

I laid back down, not wanting to look at him anymore. "I'm not telling you my secrets anymore."

"Aw... I just wanted to learn about love though. Not that I'll ever understand it from your perspective. You know, I've been curious about kissing. Like how does that work? Doesn't it just feel weird and unnecessary? What do you have to be feeling to want to do that?"

My mind went back to my first kiss and all the feelings that came with it. Yearning, excitement. Sorrow, despair... I closed my eyes and sunk into the memory for once. It had been a while since I'd thought about that event.

"The feeling is strong," I finally said. "So strong that all you want to do is be connected to that person. The connection can be through touching or kissing. When you touch his hand and feel his warmth combining with yours, when your lips touch and spark, when saliva is exchanged, it's a strong connection that goes beyond the surface. You feel each other on a different level, unlike anything you've felt before. It's riveting."

"...You make kissing sound so interesting. I'm curious to try it."

"I might be remembering my first kiss through the lens of nostalgia and that makes the memory more interesting." I missed that moment though. If only it wasn't followed by heavy despair.

"Hey, we should both try kissing. Me for the first time, and for you to experience it once again." He sat up and met my eyes. "Only if you're comfortable with it though..."

"That's kind of an absurd request..."

"Come on, I don't mean anything serious by it! I won't force you either!"

It was so absurd... But I'd already forgotten what his lips felt like. It was a bittersweet feeling, forgetting about someone who had meant so much to me. Someone I had fallen in love with for the first time. I thought I'd never forget that. But if I thought about wanting to kiss anyone right now, it'd be Anzai. I didn't care too much to revisit how my first kiss felt, I wanted to know how my first kiss with Anzai would feel. I'm downbad, aren't I?

I turned over. "Should I grace you with my lips then?"

He laughed. "That makes it sound gross!"

"Huh?! You mean you haven't been lusting over my lips like everyone else?!"

"Who's everyone?!"

We both laughed. Then I sat up and we smiled at each other. Atsutane hesitated.

"How...How do you kiss someone?"

"Pfft... I'll show you."

I gently took his face in my hands and pressed our lips together. It was no more than a peck. When I pulled away, Atsutane had a strange expression.

"Hm... I don't feel anything."

"That's mean!"

"Huh? But I already told you I don't feel those kinds of things!"

"You can't just say that though... It makes me feel bad."

"Then should I say I fell in love? It just felt weird. I don't think kissing interests me."

"I guess my lips weren't powerful enough..."

We laughed again. Atsutane sat next to me and hugged me.

"I'm sorry I can't love you," he said.

I held him back. "I wasn't expecting you to..."

"But you want to be loved, right?"

"...yeah."

"I'm sure you'll find someone who will love you just as much as you love them. Until then, I'll love you platonically." He pulled away to show me his smile.

I smiled too. I guessed there were different kinds of love. Maybe if I never got one type, I could be satisfied with the other. I loved Atsutane, even if that love was different from how I loved Anzai.

Atsutane quickly got in my bed while I was distracted by my thoughts. He smiled innocently. "The floor is actually quite uncomfortable."

"Why, you... You're going to steal my bed from me now?!" I gently punched his arm, attacking him from different angles.

He laughed the whole time. "I'm–I'm sorry! Hahaha! Let me sleep here just this once!"

I got tired of fighting him so I laid down next to him, our shoulders touching. "Sorry if this is insensitive. But I wish I didn't feel love sometimes like you do."

"...because of your first kiss? Did it end badly?"

"...yeah. It did." Not only did my first love not work out, but my second one probably wouldn't either. What was the point of feeling this way? I wish I could just make it stop.

"I'm sorry. Still, I'm jealous that you can experience life and love in a different way than me. I've always felt there was something wrong with me. It would have been nice to feel normal."

"I'm glad you told us though. I want to help make your feelings the norm among society. Everyone is different, but that doesn't make anyone abnormal. We're all just unique."

"Yeah. I'd prefer to be unique than boring."

"You know, I thought you looked boring when I first met you."

"Why are you being mean to me now?!" He tried to put me in a headlock.

I laughed. "I'm sorry! You proved me wrong. You're really interesting. I'm glad I can show you off at my bar."

"Do you think people really like me? They listen to my stories, but I'm worried I can't satisfy them like the others do."

"I know they love you. You're always surrounded by people who never even glance at the others. Thanks for making my bar such a wonderful place."

"Aw, Narihira!" He hugged me tightly. "I'll continue to work for you forever."

"As long as the bar stays open, I'll always have a spot for you there."

The next day, it was odd to have a man in my bed. I've never woken up with someone else there, not even my parents when I was a kid. It was kind of a nice feeling...

As we both got up and got ready for the day, Atsutane kept touching my hair.

"Narihira... Can I call you Nari? I want to brush your hair and style it so bad!"

"Huh?! Nari is fine...but why do you want to brush my hair?!"

"It's so pretty and looks so smooth! I have the urge to make it prettier!"

"Well... I guess you can..."

"Yay! Sit down!"