"Take all the time you need you guys," I smiled. I didn't fully mean that but I was also too nice to try to mention my concerns. They were both giving me an indefinite time frame for when they'd be ready to leave.

We decided to go futon shopping together. Both Anzai and I picked out ones we liked. I had to visualize if they'd fit in my room with the bed as well. I figured if everything was touching, it'd probably work out. When we paid, Atsutane offered to pay for both since he was crashing and taking my bed from me, but I said I couldn't let him do that since I'd be using the futons in the future as well. It was an investment I thought about but never actually went through with. Until now that is.

In the end, all three of us split the cost, that was the compromise we managed to settle on. Anzai was also saying he could pay for both and I felt I couldn't take advantage of my best friend and crush like that. Luckily the cost was cut down a lot with all of us paying a portion of it. It might be nice to have roommates if we can split the cost of many things like this... I could get a better TV or a better couch. Even if I barely use them... But I'm not sure if I could live with these two men forever. Especially Anzai...

The coming days consisted of Atsutane avoiding his butler every time we left work together, both Atsutane and Anzai living with me and our routines mingling together, and many sleepless nights for me. I was only slightly getting used to sleeping next to Anzai. Sometimes either of us would get too close to the edge of our futons where they met each other and I'd quickly roll to the other side of mine. I doubt he ever saw me do it since he always had his eyes closed.

Besides my lack of sleep, I suffered in other ways because of Anzai. I thought nothing of Atsutane coming out of the bath in only a towel, but when Anzai did, I almost had a heart attack. Seeing his chiseled pecs and abs, those well-rounded shoulders and arms, and the hint of his hips, I thought I might pass out. My nose literally started bleeding because of my arousal.

"Narihira? You're bleeding, are you alright?" Anzai came towards me, hand outstretched.

With his perfect body coming closer, I knew I had to get away before I died of blood loss.

"I-I'm alright! Excuse me!" I ran into the toilet room, slammed the door shut, and jammed toilet paper up my nose. I gripped the edge of the sink. He's going to kill me if he keeps living with me...

When Atsutane said we should all go to a bathhouse together, I knew I would die. I can't even handle a glimpse of Anzai's body, how could I handle him bathing next to me?!

"I'll pay for it of course!" he said when I didn't respond.

"That's not really...the problem..."

"But there is a problem? Do you not like bathhouses?"

"Do they make you uncomfortable?" Anzai asked.

Looking between them with their concerned faces and no way for me to explain the problem to them, I felt like I had to agree to go.

"No, I'm fine... It's just been a while."

"I haven't been in a while either!" Atsutane reassured me. "When I first went, my parents were appalled that I'd ever go to someplace like that! I enjoyed it though. The common people have made some really convenient places, huh?"

I stared at him. "Sometimes I forget you're rich. But then it's suddenly all too obvious you grew up far differently than me."

"Oops, did I say something offensive?"

"It's fine. Let's get going." I patted his arm and Anzai patted his back. He looked between us, confused.

When we got into the locker room, I grabbed one after Anzai so I could be on the opposite side and face away from him. I took a deep breath as I took my clothes off. It'll be fine. I just won't look at him. I'll just pretend he's someone else, like Atsutane or Shukishi. I don't care about their bodies in the slightest.

And if I can't get his chiseled body out of my mind, I can just glance at the other patrons. There are plenty of old men who like to show off their sagging bodies. I definitely don't enjoy seeing that, but it'll bring me back to reality. Even Anzai's super hot body will look like that one day...

I hurried into the bath part of the bathhouse to wash off with a towel around my waist. When someone sat next to me, I didn't need to see who it was to know. Anzai's body was too bulky to not notice out of the corner of my eye. I focused on scrubbing my body and thanked the steam for fogging up the mirrors so I couldn't see his reflection either. I messily tied my hair up in a bun and set out for the large bath.

I eased into the hot water, already feeling some tension in my shoulders melting away. Anzai and Atsutane joined me.

"The water is so nice," Atsutane said. "I've felt hotter though. There are some crazy hot springs I've visited that I'd like to visit again with you guys. I almost passed out the moment I went in!"

"That sounds more scary than interesting..." I said.

"But you should try it! It's a once in a lifetime experience!"

"I could just do it at home. The water can get pretty hot there."

"That could be dangerous since you live alone," Anzai said. "If you pass out, you could drown."

"That's why we should go to some hot springs and look out for each other!" Atsutane said.

"Or we could just go to normal hot springs and not risk passing out immediately," I said.

"Hm... I guess that works."

Uh oh, I looked at Anzai and my eyes went down. I quickly looked away again and stared at an old man. An aging body... We'll all be dust one day... Our bodies now don't matter...

The old man seemed to notice me staring and met my eyes. I smiled kindly. We stared at each other for a moment. Then he started looking nervous, glancing around and hiding his body with his towel. He quickly left the bath and I lost my distraction. I didn't mean to scare him though... I have to find something else to stare at. Anzai shifted closer and I was worried my nose was going to start bleeding again! I'm going to bleed out into this bath, I thought.

Atsutane started getting up to leave and I quickly joined him.

"I'm starting to feel a bit dizzy," he said.

"Me too!" I lied. "Let's get out of here and–"

Anzai stood and grabbed my arm. "Be careful. I've got you if you fall."

I glanced at his body and his towel clinging to his lower half. I can...see...the shape...

I unintentionally wrenched my arm out of his grip and held onto Atsutane. I didn't miss the surprise on Anzai's face.

"I-It's fine!" I stuttered. "Let's just get dressed and I can sit down and rest!"

I pulled Atsutane along to the locker room. When we were all in clothes and enjoying a cold drink at the front of the bathhouse, I could finally relax. That shape wouldn't leave my mind though and I wanted to hit it out of my head. I held back so I wouldn't look deranged in front of a bunch of strangers.

I felt more exhausted than usual when we got back home. I hoped my cumulative fatigue and the events of today would help me knock out once my head hit the pillow. But the two other men now occupying my apartment had other ideas. Atsutane wanted to talk as we all settled into our beds.

"You always work out in the mornings, right Anzai? Is that how you get that nice body?"

"...Yes. I have a dedicated workout routine. I also watch my diet."

"So if I followed your routine, would I get as buff as you?"

"Maybe. I've been working out since I was young, keeping my body in top form all this time. It would take a lot of time and dedication for you to get to this point."

"Hm... Sounds tough. I'm not sure if I'd look good with all those muscles anyway."

I couldn't help imagining Atsutane's head on Anzai's body... Nope nope nope, that's too frightening of an image. It doesn't fit him at all.

"What if Nari got all buff?" Atsutane added.

A quick image of my head on Anzai's body flashed through my head. "What are you saying?!"

Atsutane laughed. "You'd look so weird!"

"Stop talking and go to sleep already!"

"Sorry, I'm all hyper for some reason! Hahaha!"

"...you'd look good," Anzai suddenly said. "I mean, with the right amount of muscles for your body type. I think you'd look good. Shukishi's body is similar and he looks good with the muscles on his arms."

"Oh, is Shukishi your type?" Atsutane giggled.

"...no." Anzai actually sounded annoyed.

"Guys..." I said. "We need to sleep..." More like, I need to sleep.

"Fine, I guess I'll try," Atsutane said as he turned over in bed. After a few moments, he was softly breathing, sounding like he immediately fell asleep.

I sighed and stared up at the ceiling. I wanted to sleep so bad, but I could tell I still wouldn't get much. When Anzai shifted and moved closer to me, I stiffened up. I glanced at him and saw he was awake.

"Are you alright?" He quietly asked.

I blinked. "Yes... Why are you asking?"

He looked away. "You've just seemed...tired lately. And I hope I didn't do anything wrong today..."

How do I explain that I only pulled away like that because I was surprised...? He's a big man, so apparently he's big in all aspects... I felt my face flush and was grateful for the bedroom lights being off.

"I'm alright and you didn't do anything wrong," I said. "I guess it's just a bit strange still, living with someone I mean... I still need to adjust to it."

"We can leave if you want us to. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I don't want you to leave..." It was true, even if I was losing sleep with him next to me at night, I still liked his presence. It was my feelings of love and lust that were getting in the way. And that was completely my problem, not his.

"Then I want to see you well rested in the morning. If you're still a zombie, I'm taking Atsutane and finding hotels for us."

"Okay... I'll do my best..."

He seemed satisfied with that and turned away. I took a deep breath in to relax and closed my eyes. But he had one more question.

"Why did Atsutane suddenly start calling you Nari?"

I froze. I felt like it was because of our kiss and how that brought us closer. I couldn't tell Anzai that though. Whether or not he wanted to kiss me, I couldn't admit to him that I went and kissed someone else. It felt like cheating.

"We...talked a bit and we felt closer to each other. He asked if he could call me that and I let him."

"...can I call you that?"

My heart skipped a beat. "If...If you want to."

"Okay. Goodnight. Nari."