Before my illness, even before turning forty, I felt myself aging both physically and mentally. My life was challenged by depression, an early midlife crisis, and the fear of growing old. Looking back on my years, despite having a relatively happy youth time, the prospect that those years had passed and would not return weighed heavily on me. I felt a sense of lack, believing I could have made much better use of my youth years, but I hadn't. Now, many doors were closed, and many opportunities would not come again. I blamed only myself for the choices I made, but upon deeper reflection, I always concluded that I couldn't have chosen better, and if I had the chance to go back in time, I would make most of the same choices again. So what was the problem? The theory of impermanence terrified me, compounded by psychological problems. Despite a successful youth, the feeling of inadequacy and subconscious guilt gave me no peace. When I was diagnosed, I had to come to terms with my fate and live making the most of every moment, which turned out to be really challenging because of the depression.

The boys called me an old man. Since waking up in the forest, I felt like a different person, I was in better physical and mental shape. Those words reminded me of my earlier problems and hurt a bit, but further conversation about age brought very mixed feelings.

In this world, in this game, or in this dream - I no longer know - the average life expectancy is a little below forty years. Many die young due to diseases and accidents. Sometimes people go out to work and never return, or suddenly die in their sleep without previous signs of illness. Infant survival rate is very low, one in three children survives the first two years.

During the conversation, I noticed that both Butterfly and White Finger talked about it quite calmly, without any expressions of sadness. For them, it's quite normal, they accept this fate because they don't know that it could be different or better. They live day by day, aware of the dangers they face in life, fully conscious that something bad could happen to them at any moment. That's why they give their all, and every day lived is a reason for pride and joy. Now I understood why White Finger, when I first met him, was so proud showing me the leather belt marked with years. It's largely to his credit that he reached the age of six.

The most active age is between thirteen and twenty-five. During this time, they are most resilient and productive. After that, they become elders, whose task is to teach and raise the young. At around thirty, they become old. Such individuals, if they have a lot of experience and useful knowledge, stay in the village and act as advisors, sages, or leaders, just like Old Beetle. When an old person feels ill or weak and decides they are no longer useful to the village, to avoid being a burden, they say goodbye to the village and go into the forest. In the forest, after some time, they die away from the village. In winter, they freeze very quickly; in summer, they die from hunger and thirst, or from wounds sustained during wandering. Sometimes they are killed and eaten by animals. Usually, after leaving, the villagers never see this person again, although sometimes they come across remains that can identify who it was.

There are also cases where older people decide to wander, visiting other villages and cities until they die. Usually, they never return to their village, but there are exceptions. White Finger talked about the oldest person he had seen in his life. It was an old man who came on a cart last summer, probably about seventy years old. He was born in this village and had visited many places, telling many interesting stories, but unfortunately, he remembered nothing from the time when he lived here. His sons in the village had already died, Old Beetle said he had also many grandchildren, but he couldn't recognize them because they were either infants when he left the village, or they weren't born yet. He stayed in the village until winter, told many interesting things, and taught the villagers what he had learned in the big world. He died in his sleep one long winter night. His stories were remembered and are told further, so the villagers have some knowledge about the world and life outside their village.

Butterfly is only about seven years old but he has a dream that when he is old, he will wander until he reaches the great sea. Until then, he has many days to live, but even at such a young age, he is motivated, trying to understand the principles of trade to be taken by cart to the nearest market and learn as much as possible about roads, directions, and villages. White Finger thinks more about starting a family and has a visionary plan to build a cart for the village. Although he hasn't yet found a way to buy a horse or an ox to pull the cart, there's still time for that.

A shorter life forces the natives to live faster. Children must mature much quicker, make important decisions, and take responsibility at such a young age. Looking at my world, children their age spend most of their time sitting and staring at the TV, phone, tablet, or computer monitor. Is it better or worse that in my world children have a long childhood? Some even extend their childhood to an age that corresponds to old age here. One thing that seemed to be a significant advantage of living here is that everyone takes responsibility for their actions and strives to survive without unnecessarily risking their lives. I haven't noticed them feeling the need to show off or fool around in front of others. There are no stupid challenges like eating laundry detergent pods, lying flat in various silly and dangerous places, or opening beer cans by hitting them with a head. Reflecting on the idiocy of the youngest generations, I felt that this world was closer to me than my world. Maybe I am indeed too old, not only here but in my world too?