When the blinding brightness faded, Wish found herself standing in the middle of the white room of the Library. Gwady was right in front of her, snapping her fingers to get the woman’s attention. 

“Still with us?” she asked and took a step back to let Wish come back to reality. 

Although the blonde was able to acknowledge her surroundings, the fear, the panic, the pain and all of the emotions that was felt during her death was now impacting her with full force. 

Wish dropped to her knees, holding her head, shaking and trembling as it all rushed at her. She tried to contain it, but she finally burst as a blood-curdling scream was let out. Unable to think or speak, clawing at her own head as if trying to pull out her own hair.

“Medic.” The grinning woman in the room called out and a white-haired woman came rushing in, seemingly on standby.  

“Give her space, step back.” the woman called out, assuming there may be a crowd. Gwady, being the only one in the room, did as told and took a comically big step backwards. The medic kneeled down in front of Wish, and checked around for any visual injuries. Once none could be found, she spoke directly to the shaking woman. “Hey, Hey, my name is Tia. I’m going to help you out, can you look up for me? Are you in pain?”

Still unable to speak, she just nodded her head, continuing to tremble as she did. Wish did try to control her breathing, but the adrenaline kept her in the moment. It didn’t suppress the pain, but it kept her awake for it all. Though she didn’t say a word, Tia could recognize the pain resonating from the attendant.

Gwadeweido watched, in a completely opposite state as Wish was. Calm and still, perhaps even a little bit gleeful. It was not amusement or pity that was oozing from the dark lady, but a sense of relief, a hint of joy that the truth was finally revealed. All that’s left is the aftermath, the swirl of chaotic emotions that Wish found herself downing in. Feelings so consuming, she felt as if they were suffocating her. Gwady’s smile tugged on the edges of her lips, if not for Wish’s abilities to sense the woman’s emotions directly, she would think of the smile as a way to mock her current breakdown. 

“Witty Kitty.” The woman then spoke up as she snapped her fingers, temporarily catching Wish’s attention and stopped everything to a halt. Her thoughts, her emotions, her tears and pain. Instinctively, she held her breath. It felt like she was being hung in mid-air, waiting for the drop and impact.  Amongst the emotionless white walls, a door opened behind the speaking woman. Miao then walked in and bowed to her summoner. “Make sure Wish is escorted safely back into her room.” Gwady said, walking passed the guard to exit the Library. It was clear to everyone present that the session was done for the time being. 

“Should we bring her to the hospital- er.. Healing Temple first?” Miao spoke as she walked up to the medic, making sure they were done applying aid. 

The moment Gwady took her final step out the door, the pain came rushing back to Wish, burning from head to toe. “Oh, fuck off!” Wish exclaimed with annoyance to the both of them, pushing the medic back as she lashed out. Though she was less angry at them, and more so at herself; feeling incompetent in her ability to handle her own memories. The pain was certainly not helping. “I’m going home.” She then said, hissing through her teeth and pushing Miao aside as well, “And don’t follow!” 

Wish didn’t bother to check behind her to see if the guard or medic had followed her, all she wanted was to get back into her safe space as soon as possible. Everyone and everything on the road was a nuisance in her eyes. A cigarette formed between her fingers, but as she pressed it against her lips, Wish immediately crushed it, discarding it to the side as it crumbled to ash.

When she got home, a storm was wreaking havoc outside her window, blowing rain, leaves and twigs into her room. “Shit!” The blonde exclaimed and rushed over to quickly shut the window. “Uuuugh-'' She groaned with frustration as she turned and saw all the paperwork scattered everywhere, disorganized. Most of which was soaked with ink pooling and smearing across the floor. 

“Fuuuuuuck!” Wish had yelled out once more, grabbing another stack of soaked papers and tossed it to the ground. Annoyed and frustrated, the woman didn’t want to put up with anymore of her feelings and swiftly kicked her shoes off to go to bed. 

The next few days, she didn’t even bother asking Miao to help. Her impatience and anger made it felt like there was no point in doing so. She picked up papers and started to put them in random piles like she once did, not remembering where everything goes, just that it is put away. By the time Wish was done, she took a step back and realized it was just as bad as it originally was before the guard.

With a sharp and heavy breath, she cursed under her breath and started to exit the room, knowing she needed Miao’s help. Once Wish got to the guard’s room, she knocked on the door with hesitation and stepped back. 

Miao opened the door with a brush in her hand that she quickly hid behind her, standing in attention. “Ma’am.” The guard bowed and waited for the attendant to say something.

Wish took in a deep breath and sighed, “Are you busy? I wanted to ask for assistance with my room once more.” She asked, avoiding her gaze, seemingly not proud that they needed to request for such a thing. 

“Yes, of course.” Miao accepted as she walked back in and put the brush away.

The two then hurried back to Wish’s room and immediately got to work. It didn’t take more than a day to get it done, but unlike the other times, nothing new came up. “No, this can’t be it! There has to be more!” The attendant exclaimed, frustrated at the lack of information. 

The guard watched as the blonde almost went on another rampage to tear everything down again. “Was there more that you needed to remember?” She then asked. 

“I don’t know! How about let’s start with the thing that killed me!?” Wish said, irritated at this outcome. “Was it a set up? Did Selia not like my warning and just decided to send someone or something to kill me off?” The random accusations were spewed as she kept trying to search for more. 

“Forgive me if I’m overstepping, but I don’t think you’ll find any information about that type of activity in your company documents.” Miao simply spoke her thoughts on the matter. She didn’t see the events that had unfolded in the Library, so her understanding could only go so far. “Perhaps another session with Gwadeweido?” 

“Another session?! Are you crazy?” Wish turned towards the guard with a shocked look. “Do you have any idea how painful that was?!” She explained as if the pain was to resurface any moment now.

“I’m afraid not. My apologies.” Miao said. “What if you only went back to see the important bits of your memory, and not the parts that caused pain?” 

“That’s not how sessions work. Things just flow when you’re in a ses-” Wish groaned at the guard’s suggestion, not even giving it a consideration, simply dismissing it because it was not the answer she wanted to hear. “Can you ask any useful questions? Or are all Chogans like this?” 

Miao’s eyes widened and her brows furrowed, never heard of the word ‘Chogan’, but knew exactly what the blonde meant with her tone. It was a racist term towards the people that were similar to her own. Second class, or even third class citizens. “...Excuse me?” A piercing aura shot out from the guardian’s eyes and struck at the attendant. It left an echoing impact in Wish’s entire body, making her feel like a deer in headlights, vulnerable and paralyzed with the incoming danger. 

Wish knew that by uttering that one slur, she had messed up. She made an inverted gasp as her eyes widened. “M-miao, I didn’t-” 

“I’m sorry for being such a nuisance.” The guard hissed as calmly as she could, and walked out of the room, gently closing the door behind her. 

As soon as the door clicked shut, Wish felt a wave of guilt rising from the pit of her stomach, crawling all the way up to her throat, like she was being choked and pinned down on her chest. The air of the whole room felt thick with tension and disgust. Her heart dropped when Miao walked out, feeling like she had cut off the last supportive friend that she had ever gained since she arrived at the Realms.