To think I would ever get into a situation like this. What the hell is even happening? I put this mask on. What was I thinking? Things like this don’t exist in real life. It has to be my mind tricking me into thinking this is reality. I feel trapped. My body aches. There is no response when I knock. Nobody opens. I hear someone mumbling something incomprehensive. I really want to know if she’s fine. Come to think of it… I don’t even know her. Watchdog talks to me. His voice feels cold. It’s like a cold breeze is touching my ears from within. His mask feels heavy. It’s an unwelcoming feeling. Like I am trapped in an invisible cage. He utters: “Henry, suit yourself. Let me take over. You don’t really think they would just kindly open the door, do you? Just push it in. Destroy it.“ “That’s impossible, watchdog. The doors on this floor are thick safety front doors. They won’t budge. I don’t have the physical strength to…“ I said. Let me take over. Do you want to save her or not?“ „I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t even know if i want to be here, right now… I don’t know what to do…“ I feel a cold sweat on my forehead. I collapse.

It suddenly feels like I fell backwards into an abyss. A wet, cold puddle. I get up. I am covered in this all too familiar blue substance. I open my eyes. Just to see a window in the shape of a painted red eye with a spiral that turns into the middle. What’s going on? Where am I? For a moment I had forgotten what happened before and it felt like I awoke from a nightmare just to be trapped in another one. I step closer to this peculiar window. I feel the eye moving with my sight. It glances left and right. What I see is from my own point of view but… I am trapped within my own body, incapable of taking back control of myself. It is Watchdog who moves. 

I hear his husky voice say: “You finally woke up, dipshit. Don’t take back your body. It’s mine for now. I can’t do much without your consent. It goes beyond my capacity… They’ll… The upper class will eradicate me.“ He mumbles. “The upper class? What are you talking about?“ I ask. Watchdog was furious. He managed to look right back at me within his mask. He glares into my eyes with this unmistakable fire within his look. “Are you consenting to me taking over or NOT?“, he yells. “I guess I am.“, I said: “It’s not like I have much of a choice“ I said. “Hmph.“ Watchdog grunts: “That’ll have to do.“

He speaks as he starts moving: “Enjoy the game, Hengry.“. It felt like I was watching a very distorted movie. He walks down the stairs. Why is he going back? He walks into my apartment. What? Why would he go back?! He reaches the handle to the balcony. Then he climbs onto the railing. He stands on top of the railing and looks upwards. What the hell is he doing? I scream: „What is the meaning of this? How is this helping? Are you planning to kill me?“ He suddenly reaches out his hand to grab something or test something out. He is fixating a point on top of the ceiling. I was scared: “No.. you.. you can’t be serious. Watchdog, what?“. I couldn’t finish my sentence as he jumps up and grabs the treshold to the balcony upstairs with his bare hands. He pulls upwards and makes a big leap like a monkey. Was I capable of such strength? I had seldomly worked out to keep a good shape but I could never have imagined possessing so much strength. He pulled my body up to the railing of the balcony of the girl’s apartment. He pulled me up like it was so easy.

We’re on her balcony. On her balcony. He walks up tot he door and forms circles around his eyes with his hands to get a closer look of what was inside. He peeks through the window like a small child eager to find a surprise and smiles. A gruesome and cruel sight reaches my eyes.

I see  broken containers of perfumes lying shattered on the ground. The perpetrator must‘ve pushed over her cabinet. There were clothes scattered on the floor. I do not yet dare to look at the people. But … There are two faces staring at me. They stare right into the eye of the mask. The man had pushed the girl to a wall. He had ripped apart her clothes. She is standing there. Fixated at the eye. She manages to free herself from his grasp from a second just to yell: “There is something outside. What is this? A reflection? Can you see this? It looks like a bright read eye. Like the shadow of a person wearing a mask.“ He slaps across her face and covers her mouth with his hand: “Shut up. Some bastard heard you and climbed up. He must’ve put one of these weird LED masks on and thinks he can play superhero. But not with me.“ He grabs a broken perfume bottle from the shelf and holds it up menacingly. He coverst he girl’s mouth like she is a hostage and holds her close.

When he steps closer the light oft he mask disappears. I disappear. For a second. He turns back and lets go of the woman: “See that? There is nobody. Nobody is coming to save you.“ He steps back, thinking he’s safe. Watchdog takes a broom from the balcony. 

The man had started to step back inwards, turning his back to the door. It was a small one-room apartment like mine. There wasn’t much of a boundary between us. The man goes inside and tells the girl, who was sitting in the corner of a wall and crying floods of tears and silently whimpering in fear: “I thought I had caught a glimpse of something. There is nobody coming to save a wrench like you. I should’ve known. I knew you were a good target from the start.“

Watchdog steps back. He takes the broom and slams it onto the window. He crashes on the window so hard it shatters. There are hundreds of splinters. They are being thrown right into the man’s face and body by the impact. Some shatters hurt his arms and his neck. He screams in agony. Watchdog goes in. He pulls the girl’s arm. He screams: “Where ist he key?“ She stumbles over her feet: „What key?“ “to your apartment.“, Watchdog replies. She stutters: „It’s inside the drawer of my bedroom table.“ Watchdog goes to take it out. The man has fallen on his knees but he stands back up and grabs another one of the half-broken perfume bottles on a table. 

Watchdog grabs the broom tighter. He looks him straight in the eye: “One step closer and this is the last thing you ever saw.“

The last thing… It came to my sudden realisation what Watchdog wanted to do. I yell from inside: “I didn’t consent to THIS! I don’t consent to anyone committing a murder controlling my body!“ Watchdog spits into the corner: “Oh, fuck it. You humans and your morals. You said I could take over. So that entails you go along with my actions.“.

No. No. I couldn’t have Watchdog commit a crime in my stead. No. Even though we witnessed something awful and the man must’ve attacked the girl. I could’nt have him kill him. I punched the mask eye from the inside and yelled: “STOP! WATCHDOG STOP! PLEASE! DON’T DO IT! STOP!“. 

Suddenly he stops moving. He grits his teeth. He mumbles something about the upper class again. I couldn’t comprehend what he says. „I cannot do something without your consent.“ He takes the key and grabs the girl’s hand. “I have to do as your heart wishes. I can’t go beyond.“, he said: „Come with me. Quick.“ He ran out of the apartment with her and he locked the door. He pulls the girl downstairs to my apartment. She looks at him in bewilderment but tags along as fast as she can. Watchdog kindly says: “It’s not much help, but it’ll keep us safe for a while. C’mon in. With his injuries he won’t be able to climb down here. C’mon in. It’s one hell of a place though.“

She steps inside. I gasp within this strange room. Watchdog speaks: “I’ll give you back your body, chap.“ And I get pushed back with a strange feeling. It makes me feel nauseous. The background spins around my eyes and the gooey blue substance reverted like water from a tub once you pull out the plug. As soon as I get back control of my body I start trembling again. I look at the girl and can’t help but cry. I cry and sob. I said: “Why? Why would someone ever make someone else experience something like that. First hand or second hand experience. I feel so awful I’d rather die.“ I take off the mask.

The girl looks at me strangely: “Who are you? You suddenly sound so different.“ I tell her I am her neighbor from downstairs. That I had heard screams and was very worried. She just blatantly says: “Well. It happens sometimes. But he’s truly a good person. “ She looks to the side as she crosses her arms in bewilderment. Why is she denying what just happened? I say: “No good person would harm anyone like this. Nobody. I know. I’m not a good person either.“ I am amazed how easy it was to talk to her. I had’nt had a conversation with anyone for months. I am so amazed at myself that I look straight into her eyes. She shrinks back. I ask her if she was scared. “I had a fight with my boyfriend. My apartment is destroyed. A stranger just barged into my house to save me and you’re asking me if I’m afraid? Of course I am…“ She grabs the remains of her clothes to pull them closer to her body so she could cover up her bare skin. I  didn’t dare to look at it. I go to my wardrobe to grab a shirt for her. Maybe some sweat pants. I pull out something neutral. She would’nt want to wear those weird rags I wore to hang out. With ripped out hems and finger holes I cut with scissors. I give her a brand new shirt I bought … to play pretend.

“You wear something like that? That’s pricey. I didn’t expect that… Influencers wear something like that. Aren’t those shirts 300 Euro or something.“ I fold my lips and don‘t respond. She kept asking questions. I start scratching the knuckles of my right hand trapped in anxiety. “I would’nt usually wear something like this. But I guess I have to.“ She puts it on and looks back at me: “You sure are staring a lot. Did you forget how to talk again?“ Why was she acting like that. Isn’t she shocked about the recent events? She’s acting so strangely I have a hard time figuring her out. It’s like nothing happened but then again. She does seem afraid and I can see her legs still shaking. She’s pretending nothing happened to keep face. Why…?  I see her averting my gaze. She starts fumbling on a ring she has on her middle finger. She puts it on and off again. On and off. Puts it on another finger. Then she looks back at me: “So. What do you intend to do? Don’t call the cops on him. He’ll be good again. It was just a simple fight. It’s going tob e alright. It’s going tob e alright.“ She kept repeating the sentence like a mantra. Like she is trying hard to make herself believe what she just said.

I go to the hallway. I slam my fist on a small desk where I put a lamp and some decoration my mum got me for moving in. A small flower pot with a dead flower inside broke apart from the impact. It feels like there is a heavy weight on my shoulders. A feeling of guilt and compassion. I cannot act like she wants me to. This is a big deal. It feels hard but I have to do as Watchdog says. Listen to my instincts. It is telling me to help a person for once. She seems to have lost her reasoning. I cannot have anyone push the blame on me if anything happened to her. “When or where is this just a simple fight? Are you out of your mind? Why aren’t you scared?“ Or is it. “Are you scared of me or him?“. I step closer and look straight at her. She shrinks back and covers her face. “You were talking to someone. Who were you talking to? It felt like you were talking to yourself all the time… And your voice changed all the time. What the. My boyfriend is not normal but you… you’re definitely worse.“ I fell back and felt numb. „I was… but I wasn’t talking to anybody“, I stuttered. I knew nobody would believe me if i told them about Watchdog. „You sounded so different. This is not the voice I heard a few minutes ago. What is this? Who are you? What the hell is wrong with you?“ the girl said with her voice becoming more and more fragile. I am paralysed and can‘t move. I stare blankly into her eyes. „But. Was… Was I wearing a mask? Tell me. I was wearing a mask. You should’ve seen my mask.“.

She started shaking and steps backwards “We both thought we saw a person wearing a mask outside. There was a shining red eye I saw outside on the balcony. I swear I did. But it disappeared as soon as you broke through the glass door so I thought I was imagining things.“ 

I couldn’t close my eyes. I looked at my hand. I was holding Watchdog’s mask in my right hand. I could feel it.

“That red eyed mask. Can you… can you see me holding it in my hand?“, I ask. I still cannot blink. “What are you talking about?“, the girl asked me in shock and folded her arms across her body as if she did it to protect herself.

 She screams and steps back again. She hits the back of her head on the window. There is no escape for either of us. Tears flood down her face: “Nothing is in your hand. Nothing! There is no mask! I am telling you!“