One month ago

“You dyed your hair blue!” Abel grinned at him, holding an arm out to wrap around Theo’s shoulders and crush him to his chest in a firm hug. Theo felt the entire world melt away. The tension –They want to put you on anxiety medications? What the fuck have you got to worry about? You have the easiest life, just laying on your back all day. Don’t be ungrateful– that he constantly carried in his spine softened as he smiled against the warm skin of Abel’s neck.

They parted, and Abel ruffled his hair. “Do you always have it dyed like this? It feels so brittle. Give the bleach a rest sometime, yeah?”

“I like dying it fun colors,” Theo pouted. “They make me happy.”

Abel hummed at that and ran his fingers through Theo’s blue locks. Yesterday, they had been salmon, faded from the original hot pink color. His roots had begun to show as well. Theo had been antsy for a change. He usually stuck to pink or red, but this time, he decided to go with a color he had never tried before.

“Do you like it?” Theo asked.

“You look like a blueberry,” Abel teased before ducking close and kissing the top of his head. “Yeah, I like it. It makes your eyes look nice.”

Theo beamed at him, then glanced around. He could see the amusement park’s rides towering above its tall boundary walls from the parking lot. Abel fit their fingers together, then tugged him away from the bus stop toward the ticket line. Even though they stood on a concrete sidewalk, surrounded by grass and shade trees while they waited, the sweltering heat shimmered around them. But Theo clung to Abel’s hand no matter how sweaty their palms became.

“Those are your swim trunks?” Theo tugged on the plain, dark blue board shorts that Abel wore. He glanced down at them, then over at Theo’s legs.

“Yeah,” he said, “but I like yours better.”

Theo’s were light blue and had a pattern of shark fins above stylized waves all along the hems. “Thank you. I bought them yesterday because I realized I did not own any.”

Abel opened his mouth like he would say something, then thought better of it and snapped his jaw shut. Theo pressed his lips together and looked around at the other people in line and the palm trees rustling above them. Given his lifestyle, he did not have much use for swim trunks, which apparently bugged Abel just like every other little reminder about what Theo was.

An awkward silence settled over them, and Theo desperately racked his mind for something else to talk about. But by the time they reached the ticket booth, neither had said a word to each other. Theo’s attempts to come up with another topic of conversation had devolved into despair. Their day together was off to a horrible start, and it was all his fault because he did not belong in situations like this, under the bright sunshine and green trees. Abel deserved to have a nice boy or girl on his arm. Theo deserved the shadows that he had become accustomed to.

“It’s so freakin’ hot.” Abel groaned as soon as they squeezed through the ticket booth and popped out onto the other side, where the rest of the visitors were dispersing left and right. “You wanna hit a water slide or something first to cool off?”

“Okay,” Theo nodded agreeably.

Abel eyeballed him and said, “And after that, we can go chill in the lazy river; what do you think?”

Theo’s eyes widened because Abel remembered what he said when they first planned their trip to the water park – that he wanted to relax in the lazy river. He got a grin in response, and then Abel dragged him along, going on about what they might have for lunch and the fact that he was going to win Theo one of the huge plush toys from the carnival games gathered in one corner of the park.

His tattoos stood out boldly on his bare arms and torso beneath the bright sunlight. Even the snake coiled across his collarbone and, rearing its head on his neck, which was usually shadowed beneath his chin, seemed more vibrant and detailed than usual. Theo could not keep his eyes off him as they climbed to the top of the water slide and barreled down into the pool below. Or as he stood just outside of the splash zone of one of the rides, holding their shirts and wallets while Theo vibrated with the anticipation of getting soaked. Or, as he splayed out in a pool ring, legs and arms hooked over the sides and trailing in the water, head laid back, eyes closed.

Theo openly admired the tattoos on his chest as they floated down the lazy river. The sun glinted off the barbells pierced through his nipples, the ring in his nose, and the jewelry studding his ears. If they were not in such a family-friendly environment, Theo would clamber onto Abel’s pool ring to press their bodies together and nibble at that jewelry. But a group of kids kicked water at each other and laughed only about ten feet upstream. Not as peaceful as Abel’s placid posture would lead one to believe.

As they climbed out, Abel’s eyes swept over Theo’s bare shoulders and glinted in amusement. This immediately put him on edge. Abel dragged his fingers across the back of Theo’s neck, then held them up so he could see the blue staining them.

“Maybe dying my hair the day before coming to a water park was not the brightest idea,” Theo admitted bashfully. He was always doing stupid stuff like that. Letting his excitement for today overwhelm him with jitters that drove him to the store to buy hair dye without a rational thought in his head. Having his mistake so blatantly displayed in front of Abel was humiliating.

Abel wiped his fingers on his towel and then rolled his shirt up to toss it over his head. He seemed oblivious to the way that Theo ducked his head. Theo was grateful to be spared the extra shame of Abel, who was so confident in everything he ever did, noticing his embarrassment.

“Maybe it is a sign that you should just dye it back to your natural color and give it a break from the chemicals,” Abel told him, not unkindly. Theo hummed noncommittally, doubting he would actually do that.

They ate corndogs at a food stand in the carnival section, then hopped from game to game while Abel tried to win a prize. He did not seem to care how many dollars he spent on tokens, even if Theo wasted some of them on his pathetic attempts to toss a ring or throw a basketball. He had never been athletic. Apparently, neither was Abel. His aim was abysmal at everything except the little rifle shot game, where he won a modestly sized elephant plushie for Theo.

It remained clutched to his chest for the remainder of their time at the amusement park, which was winding down by then. Abel walked him to the bus stop, even though his car was parked in the overflow parking lot in the opposite direction.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to give you a ride?” he asked one last time, releasing Theo’s hand with reluctance.

“I’ll be fine,” Theo assured him, “Thanks for today. I had a lot of fun.”

Abel’s lips pressed into a thin line, holding back any more offers that Theo would just turn down. Then he schooled his features into a warm smile and pulled Theo into a hug.

“I had a good time too.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Theo’s head, then his temple, then his cheek, and finally his lips. “Text me when you get home safe.”

“Okay.” Theo kissed him back. Then, the bus pulled up with a screech and hiss, and Theo dragged himself away from Abel to climb on and take a seat. He hugged the elephant to his chest the whole ride home, even when he stepped off the bus and onto the familiar cracked sidewalk beneath the high-rises blocking his neighborhood in on all sides.

Only to have it ripped away within minutes when he walked past the corner where Colby stood in his usual spot, leaning against the chain link fence around the vacant lot, waiting for business to drop by.

“What are you doing with a stuffed animal?” he sneered as Theo tried to skirt around him, hugging the elephant tighter to his chest. When he did not respond, Colby grabbed the elephant’s ear and tore it out of his arms. Theo bit his lip and remained still while he watched Colby’s fingers squeeze and prod the elephant.

“Somebody give this to you?” Colby guessed correctly. “What do you think Ken will do when he finds out?”

“Please don’t tell him.” Theo whispered. It did not matter if he tried to deny it. Colby could say anything he wanted to Ken and would immediately be believed over Theo. Because his words held weight, while Theo had no words. The sun had sunk below the buildings around them, casting the vacant lot and street into dim shadows. Colby laughed at him.

“What are you going to do for me in exchange?”

Theo clutched at the front of his shirt now that he no longer had the elephant to hug. He kept his eyes lowered to the ground, then took a deep breath, steeled himself, and looked up with the sultry glint in his eye and the smirk on his lips that these guys always took as a challenge. A fluttering scarlet scrap of fabric to a raging bull. Get the goring over with.

When he looked up, the expression froze on his face. Colby had dug his fingers into the fabric on either side of the elephant’s neck and was tearing it apart. Theo flinched at the stuttering rips that filled the air. Fluffy white stuffing tumbled to the ground, landing in the puddle of standing water at their feet. The head and the body were tossed in opposite directions over Colby’s shoulder, where they smacked into the chain link fence with a rattle and plopped miserably to the sidewalk below.

“You don’t need to be playing with kid’s toys anyway,” Colby leered, wrapping his violent fingers around Theo’s wrist and drawing his hand away from his shirt as he began to lead him down the street. “You can play with me for a while. Then Ken never needs to find out.”

They walked past the elephant’s head. Theo turned his face away and squeezed his eyes shut. In the growing darkness, shadows loomed toward him from between the sidewalks’ cracks and the alleyway mouths. Colby glanced over his shoulder and tugged his arm to get him to walk quicker. Theo smirked and sidled up alongside him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“Let’s make it quick since Ken is probably already wondering where I am,” he purred into Colby’s ear as he steered him toward one of the alleys. Where the shadows swallowed them whole. It was where he belonged. Better not to get ideas about sunshine and lazy rivers, or else he would end up like the elephant, with his head ripped off, lying in a puddle on the sidewalk. Don’t think that anybody will try to look for you if you end up a body in a ditch on the side of the road. You’ll just be another one of their John Doe’s.

Today (Mid-morning)

“You alright?”

A hand wrapped around his wrist, and Theo startled. A couple of feet in front of him, several chickens were flapping in distress as two children approached them. Theo glanced down to see that the hand around his wrist was decorated with tattoos. They curled over the tendons on the back of it and on the knuckles. He glanced up to meet Abel’s eyes.

“Oh.”

“You back with me?” Abel put his hands on Theo’s shoulders and leaned back to search his eyes; one brow arched. “I thought you were about to stare holes into those chickens. Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” Theo blinked, then shook his head. The whole reason he started thinking about their day at the amusement park was because both days were so enjoyable. He wanted to have more days like this with Abel. “Really, I am.”

Abel searched his eyes for a couple more seconds, then stood straight and nodded. “That’s good. We should get going anyway. Your aunt is expecting us today.”

Theo looked around at the enclosures with their animals and the packed dirt sidewalk strewn with hay and corn. There was a zebra several yards away, shaking its neck and ignoring the children clambering over the fence to entice it with handfuls of treats. He thought about the elephant with its head ripped off and how it felt like the same would happen to him if he ever tried to leave his enclosure. He had been wrong. It was a near thing, but he had managed to keep his head. And now he had been released upon the world – a zoo animal that stood out among the flow of normal people.

“Theo, hey,” Abel nudged him, “let’s go.”

Except now he had a handler, which was a good thing. Abel would keep people from hunting him for sport and make sure he did not maul them in return. But there he was again – thinking of himself as an animal. A rabid dog. He was supposed to be a human. No longer did the demons from the shadows possess him (for now), which meant he was a whole human being, all to himself. And with Abel, because he invited him in. Not a handler but a companion. A fellow human being.

“Will you hold my hand?” He asked.

Abel looked down as though surprised they were not already doing so, then held out his hand. He led them through the final stretch of the loop that circled back to the ticket booths, and they passed through the exit back into the dusty gravel parking lot.