A Ranker’s Guide to the Good Life
Chapter 8

〚Good morning, ladies and gentlemen!〛

〚This is Good Morning Babel, where you can find all your latest hunter news! I’m your host, Mona.〛

〚And I’m your host, Lisa!〛

〚I’m sure you all heard that beautiful sound last night! And you guessed right! The Daybreak guild, led by #6 hunter Twilight, gifted the Korean Babel server by tolling the victory bell!〛

〚(Applause)〛

〚Yes, indeed! It took no less than five months for them to unlock the thirty-ninth floor. Naturally, everyone’s super excited! It also just so happens that the fortieth tutorial week is right around the corner. Isn’t that right, Lisa? Talk about perfect timing!〛

〚You’re absolutely right, Mona. And since it’s the last floor before we move into the forties, it’s expected to be incredibly difficult. The guilds will most likely choose their most elite members to form a multi-guild effort.〛

〚Isn’t that what they did for the twenty-ninth floor?〛

〚Correct. That also means that each guild will have to recruit some new blood. With the tower floors temporarily offline during the tutorial, many expect that all eyes will be on the Tutorial Week participants.〛

〚You know, Lisa, I think our viewers should also keep in mind that many believe a celestial is more likely to select a hunter when a floor ends in 9! I’m sure you remember what happened when the 19th and 29th floors opened. Now it’s time for 39!〛

〚That’s right, Mona! It isn’t merely a superstition.〛

〚Oh! Why do you say that?〛

〚Both the #5 hunter Jirok Gyeon and Twilight were the most eye-catching rookies the year they cleared 29. Both succeeded in being chosen at the celestial gate and were upgraded to S-tiers.〛

〚Wow, you’re right! So does that mean we can all look forward to the emergence of yet another S-tier hunter?〛

〚My lips are sealed on that front.〛

〚Oh, you always manage to weasel your way out of spilling the tea, Lisa!〛

〚Let’s all wait to see who will be our rising star this time around! Who knows? It could even be one of you watching at home! What’s that? You haven’t received a ticket from Babel Network?〛

〚Oh dear! Well, fret not, viewers! There are still twenty-seven hours until Tutorial Week commences. See that timer in the top right corner? It’s a reminder that you still have plenty of time. Don’t forget that Babel will even issue tickets ten seconds before Tutorial Week begins!〛

〚Now don’t go anywhere, folks. After a quick word from our sponsors, we’ll start our deep dive analysis of previous floor conquests!〛

〚Wait, Lisa! Don’t forget our “Hot Minute” segment before the break.〛

〚Oopsie-daisy! You’re right, Mona!〛

〚Today’s “Hot Minute” consists of a video sent in by user “VoteJoIfYoureKorean,” which was taken extremely recently! I’m sure you’ve all heard about the Hero of Seolleung Station!〛

〚Sorcerer King’s sudden appearance and his subsequent erasure of the disaster may have eclipsed him a little, but the arrival of a new hero is always welcome! Why don’t we take a look at the video together?〛

* * *

“I think I’ll be away from the house for a while,” Dohyeon mumbled.

“Okay. Fine with me,” Jio answered without looking up.

“I may be gone for a while.”

“How long?”

“About... a week...”

She instantly spun around after hearing his answer and looked as if he had just told her one of her beloved family members had passed away.

She got to stay up late, wake up late, eat whatever and whenever she wanted, and no one scolded her for not studying. She was even free to play games on her phone as much as she wanted. She didn’t have to spend a dime on food, and she could lie around as much as she liked. Her life had become heavenly.

Even her celestial had become increasingly nervous since Jio was starting to think she could trust the young ma—or rather... “pushover” to look after her for the rest of her life.

He’s gonna leave me for a whole week?

A stinging sense of betrayal filled her heart as she glared at Dohyeon.

“What will I eat?”

“You’ll have to prepare your own food,” he muttered while clearing his little table covered with empty dishes.

“What about my ice cream?”

“You should cut down on the ice cream. You eat it way too often,” he said coldly while handing her the tub of salted-caramel ice cream from the freezer.

“What about the laundry and other chores?” she grumbled, stomping about angrily.

All the while, Dohyeon’s extra-large hoodie that she had “borrowed” flapped around her small figure.

Her impudence was finally starting to test the limits of even his patience. Rather than answer her, he took the blanket she had spilled juice on and stuffed it into his washing machine before starting the load. He wiped the crumbs off the floor with a wet rag and frowned.

“The floor wouldn’t be so dirty if you didn’t eat lying down! I’ll leave enough clean towels for you to use the entire week, but you really need to stop eating in bed! That’s how you get acid reflux, you know!”

[Your celestial Fate Reader would like to know what exactly you two are doing right now.]

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jio demanded. “So what? You’ll abandon me and refuse to pay my hospital bills if I get acid reflux?”

[Fate Reader asks, “Hello? Are you listening to me?”]

“I never said I’d refuse to pay! But do you know how scary acid reflux is? Just looking at you, I bet your esophagus is tiny. It’ll hurt like hell! How do you think I’d feel having to see you like that?”

“How should I know? I hate you!”

“What did you just say? No matter how cute you are, you shouldn’t say things like that! What you’re doing right now is called gaslighting, you hear me? Now sit down!”

[Your celestial sits by the riverbank and sets up a fishing rod. He lies down with his shades on and asks you to wake him when this melodrama is over.]

“I hate you, you old fart! You can’t even season soup properly!”

Dohyeon stared at her speechless. Jio was struck equally speechless by her absurd comment. It was just the sort of stifling silence that was infamous for coming after a terrible slip of the tongue. She studied him cautiously while he turned his gaze to the floor. It was obvious her words had hit a nerve.

In an attempt to look unbothered, she turned away and huffed, “Hmph!”

“You... You said you liked it...”

She didn’t answer.

“It was a recipe I saw on TV, so...” Dohyeon had made sure to use the best ingredients for the soup.

He had even added a bit of beef brisket as a treat.

Guess I should have used clams... Then again, Jio apparently hates clams, so that wouldn’t have worked either.

Dohyeon’s face fell as he debated where he had gone wrong with the recipe. Not even Jio’s brazen trait, which had been active the entire time she had been at his house, could protect her conscience from the injured look on his face.

“Ahem!” she awkwardly cleared her throat and made him finally look back at her. Then she muttered, “Well, actually... it was a bit sweet, but it was all right.”

“Oh, was it too sweet?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“I did notice the recipes from that show use too much sugar. I dwelled on what to do for a while, so I guess I should’ve trusted my gut.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll do better next time.”

“Right. I’ll make sure not to repeat the same mistake.”

[“Brazen” trait advances one level!]

[Conditions met for second occupational title - “Professional Scammer” (Normal). Would you like to accept this title?]

Jio had developed a knack for only reading her status window when she felt like it. After deftly ignoring it, she picked up her ice cream spoon. Peace had been restored.

“So why are you leaving for a whole week? I thought you quit that part-time delivery job.”

“Because of this,” he answered while rolling up his left sleeve.

Jio gave a low whistle as she beheld the familiar golden emblem. Below it was a timer that was counting down in real time. It was a ticket to their local Babel tower and judging by the color, Dohyeon hadn’t received it secondhand. Tickets would turn silver when passed from the original recipient to a hopeful.

“But I thought you already had your usele—I mean... your F-tier rank. Shouldn’t you be able to go back with that alone?”

“You’ve never heard of reentry?”

“Oh...”

Hunters were required by law to register with the bureau after completing the tutorial. After getting analyzed by a tier evaluation meter, they were officially registered in the server as “awakened.” Since the meters contained stones of Babel at their cores, the ratings were so accurate that they were almost impossible to overturn.

However, the beings known as celestials could simply ignore such rules entirely. Even if a hunter failed to be chosen at a celestial gate, their tier could change later if they met a celestial at some point. Celestials were, after all, beings who removed a human’s limitations.

The fastest way to achieve a renewal was through reentry during a tutorial. One could climb the tower or clear dungeons to try to attract an astral being’s attention, but the odds were far better during tutorials since all the celestials’ attention would be concentrated on them.

“But reentry is only allowed for hunters who don’t have contracts. Don’t you already have a celestial?” Jio asked half-heartedly since she was simply repeating the information she had read about him.

The entire purpose of reentry was to allow those who hadn’t yet been chosen another chance at it. Thus, the opportunity was only ever given to those who didn’t have a celestial.

He pulled down his sleeve and laughed as he explained, “They’re currently sealed awa—I mean... Mine sort of got reset. I was told I could only become their avatar if we managed to meet again, and they selected me the exact same way they did last time.”

“Your celestial said that?”

“Yeah... So I have to start over from scratch.”

[Your celestial Fate Reader scoffs at that statement.]

What is it now? Jio asked him in her thoughts.

[He says the boy is quite audacious to assume he’ll be chosen again. He adds that astral beings are fickle by nature.]

Fate Reader’s explanation prompted her to ask Dohyeon directly, “What makes you think you’ll succeed? You know how shifty celestials can be.”

“I’m not banking on the celestial,” he answered quietly with a clear look in his eyes. “I believe in myself. I’ve always walked the same path no matter how difficult it became. Just because I was sent back in time and had to part ways with my celestial doesn’t mean my belief has to change.”

Jio was at a genuine loss for words.

Okay... That was kind of cool, she thought subconsciously before quickly deciding that she needed to change the subject. After all, I absolutely can’t let him rope me into becoming his overpowered sidekick! Y-you crafty, time-traveling protagonist! How dare you ambush me with your righteous tendencies!

She cleared her throat more forcefully before asking, “So you were an F-tier last time as well?”

“Yes, but it was understandable. Even I have to admit that I was pretty immature back then. I resented my situation and blamed others all the time for my shortcomings.”

Jio didn’t know what to say to Dohyeon’s sudden confession.

“Luckily, I got a chance at reentry and managed to meet my celestial. I also met good companions along the way and became a little more dependable as a result. Not that I’m perfect now or anything.”

“Don’t say that! You’re practically an angel!” she blurted out.

He tilted his head as he asked, “What?”

[Your celestial Fate Reader grows irritated and warns you to stop before you really upset him. He scolds you harshly, saying that you need to open your eyes. The man before you is human. There is nothing like a halo above his head!]

Th-there isn’t?! she shouted the words inwardly while clenching her eyes and fists shut.

When she opened her eyes ever so slightly again to peek out, all she could see under the fluorescent lighting was Dohyeon staring at her in stunned silence. Despite looking handsome enough to bring shame to thousands of light bulbs, he indeed did not have a halo over his head.

She finally relaxed her fists and tried to get a hold of her senses.

“Well, anyway... You’re doing the tutorial again, huh? Good luck then. Good night.”

It was as unfeeling of an exit from the conversation as an artificial intelligence program could have offered him. Dohyeon shouted at her that it wasn’t even 9 P.M. yet, but she ignored him as she burrowed under the blankets and pulled them over her head.

[Your celestial Fate Reader dares you to say that the heat under the blankets is what’s causing you to blush. He also gently recommends that you return home as soon as the sun comes up if you don’t wish to see how low a male being can fall when consumed by jealousy.]

Shut it, you disposable sky-lurker.

[Fate Reader requests the source of this newfangled moniker.]

You were making fun of Dohyeon a minute ago for thinking that his celestial would choose him again. It sure sounded to me like you’d abandon me if I ever got sent back in time. Whatever. I wouldn’t be interested either. Just leave me alone.

Dohyeon seemed to resign himself to follow Jio’s lead, so he flicked the lights off before going to sleep himself. Once she was sure it was dark enough, she pulled the blankets down since it had been stifling underneath the covers. She finally turned toward the wall and closed her eyes.

* * *

Jio Gyeon... I like you most when you’re upset like this yet still leave me the slightest opening.

Since the celestial link was still partially connected, her astral being muted his majestic presence while whispering to his tiny avatar from afar.

【“Sent back in time”?】 He mulled the words over for a moment before adding, 【I wouldn’t be clumsy enough to put you through such an ordeal in the first place.】