I knock on the door to my house. My mom opens the door all happy and excited. I walk to the kitchen. Looks like we are having ‘fathers’ favorite again. Steak.
“Sienna darling, could you set the table for me please” my mom asked as she beat the potatoes to a pulp. I pray I’m never on her bad side.
“Of course, Ma anything you need” I kiss her cheek and go to set the table. My ‘father’ comes in a moment later, still in classier clothes from his job.
“Sienna,” he says
“Father,” I say. We weren’t exactly close, we never have been.
“I see you actually doing something instead of being on that phone for once,” he says and goes to sit at the table.
“Good to see you too,” I say and roll my eyes. He has no control over me anymore after what he did.
“Baby, could you go get your son, he's playing his video games again and you know I can’t tear him away from those,” Ma says, she sounds a little stressed but this is always how it is when he comes home. He lets out an unnecessary howl of laughter at her not so funny joke. He heads upstairs to go get my brother.
I let out a sigh I didn’t know I was holding in. “Have I always been this anxious around him?” I think to myself. I finished setting the table just in time for my ‘brother’ and ‘father’ to come down the stairs. My brother looks at me and whispers something in my ‘father’s’ ear which he gives a tiny chuckle to. Pompous assholes.
I sit down next to my mom and the two assholes fill in. Dinner was quiet. the quieter the better.
“Daddy, did you know that sissy was hanging out with Laura again?” my brother says all innocently like he’s never harmed a fly. I spit out my water. How’d he even know? My brother was a year younger than me and for some reason always kept tabs on me, probably to rat me out to his dad.
“Oh really?” His hand clenched around his fork. It would normally go unnoticed but I always saw his slight agervations. My ‘father’ wouldn’t show it but he was upset, he didn’t like Laura and I knew why. I shoot my ‘brother’ a glare across the table.
“How’d you know, are you spying on me or something? creep,” I ask him. I was mad.
“Sienna don’t accuse your brother like that!,” Ma yelled. I ignored her.
“Max works at the arcade, he saw you two together,” He said with a smirk on his face like he finally won over me. Like he was taunting me and I hated it. I slam my fist on the table making the room silent. My father is the first to speak
“I told you I don’t want you hanging out with that girl anymore,” he acts disgusted by the thought of me even being with her.
“Why, because she's gay? she's my best friend her sexuality shouldn’t matter!” I yell
“I DON’T WANT A FAG IN MY HOME” He yells back more infuriated than I am.
“But–”
“NO ‘BUTS’. DON'T. HANG. OUT. WITH. HER,” He gets up and leaves the table in an outrageous fit likely heading to the living room to drink beer. Silent tears start running down my face but I don’t dare let my brother see and I run up the stairs.
I shout “YOU DON'T HAVE ANY CONTROL OF ME, YOU ARE NOT MY REAL DAD” and slam the door heading straight to my bed to cry.
—-
A couple of hours later the door opens.
“Darling, are you in here?” my Ma asks out to the air. I don’t respond.
“I hope you know your father means well, it’s just–” I cut her off.
“No, no He doesn’t mean well, if he did he would let me see one of the only people who make me happy in this world but since he can’t get over his old ways I'm the one who suffers. What’ll happen when he finds out Mom? Answer that.” I say tears brimming.
“I don’t know honey, but just know whatever happens, you are my child and he will not take me away from you,” she says and goes to hug me tightly.
“I love you,” she says
“I love you too, Ma.
—--
BEEP BEEP BEEP
I wake up to the sound of my alarm blaring. Checking the time I go to shower, seeing I have 2 hours before I have to leave for school. The water was cold but I didn’t care. I'm snapped awake by another alarm I set just in case I take too long in the shower. I get dressed in my same old blue skinny jeans and signature red hoodie my friends always make fun of. It used to be my dad’s but he's not around anymore so I have it instead. I look in the mirror like I do every day. My bluish eyes don't have a shine anymore, yesterday took a lot out of me. It seems like every day they lose a little more shine.
I am 5’8”, a decent height for someone whose mom is 6’0”, not too short yet not too tall. So when I hit my head for the hundredth time it doesn't faze me. I walk downstairs to see my mom and my brother Max eating breakfast. I wish my mom goodbye and grab a piece of toast from the counter. I plug in my headphones and get on my bike. I check the clock again. School starts in an hour but I’d just rather not be at home right now. I get to school and watch videos on my phone. Even with my continuous scrolling, I'm not absorbing information. There's a tap on my shoulder, and I look up.
“Hey, Sisi, How are you?” Laura speaking to me. Why is she so early today? Then I remember who I'm talking to. Ms. punctual.
“Oh, uh, not so great. Another fight with my stepdad again. Nothing special,” I say with a shrug of my shoulder “How are you, anything interesting going on?”
The gleam in her eyes burned brighter. God I love her eyes.
“Syd is taking me on a date today to make up for yesterday,” she says, all happy like she just won a puppy at the fair. Oh.
“Well you have fun with that, do you know where you are going?” I ask, trying to sound interested.
“Uh no, she said it was a surprise but I'm so excited! We haven’t had a date in like forever.” She jumps with joy. Literally. I Look at the time thirty minutes till the bell rings. Great, now I have to hear more about Sydney and her fake personality.
Sydney was a strawberry blond with freckles and brown eyes. She was around 5’9” in height and everyone loved her. Except me. She always gave me a bad vibe when it came to being her friend. She just seemed fake and nobody else seemed to pick up on it but me. She moved to this town last year and so she was the new kid. People flocked to her like they were moths drawn to a flame. Unfortunately, my best friend was one of those people.
When they started talking more I was pushed off to the side. When I tried to hang out with her she’d always make excuses like “I'm with Syd today” or “Syd and I are having a sleepover, sorry” and it pissed me off. I never knew why I’d feel so jealous or mad but I just pushed it away.
At that time I would only talk to Alexander. He wasn’t all that nice, he’d constantly make fun of me but I never cared all that much because, in the end, we were never truly together. He made me want to throw up in my mouth half of the time. The day I was going to tell my best friend that I was going to break up with him, I saw her confess her feelings to Syd in the girl's bathroom.
Apparently, Syd was helping her with an injury because she fell (which I didn’t know at the time but it was Sydney doing) and Laura just confessed. I don’t know why but my hatred for Syd grew. Not only did she steal my best friend's attention, she also stole her away from me. I felt guilty for thinking these things. I was not entitled to all my best friend's affection but I couldn’t help but feel these things.
What is wrong with me? I remember thinking before rushing out of the bathroom. Tears were streaming down my eyes and I didn’t know why. It just hurt. Seeing them together. Watching them walk down the hall together. I just remember feeling sorrow for the next couple of weeks. Sometimes now even thinking of it I still feel sorrow. In the midst of my thoughts, I totally tuned out Laura.
“Sisi, Sisi, are you listening?” Laura said, tapping my forehead.
“Uh no, sorry I was think-” Before I could finish my sentence the bell rang and we were late for class.
—-------
The first block of the day passed quietly, probably because I slept almost the whole time but that's not the point. One more block before I go to see Laura. I was hoping for this block to pass just as quickly but before I could make it, I was shoved against a locker.
“Ow, what the hell was that for!” I yell at them furious.
“Maybe if you actually cared for Alex instead of your best friend then maybe it wouldn't have happened,” A girl with pin-straight black hair with some crazy eyeliner said with a scoff. What stick is up her ass today?
“Oh, uh, sorry I guess?” I say rubbing my poor shoulder.
“You could sound more considerate, you asshole,” she said, shouting. She’s making a huge scene for something so minuscule. I’m the asshole? look at yourself.
“First off you don't even know the situation at all, you only hear the twisted version he tells you so before you attack me at least ask me for what happened, and damn your strong,” I say still rubbing my shoulder.
“Ugh whatever,” she says. She's mad pissed off. She stomps down the hallway.
—---
Alexander skipped lunch with us again. It happens all the time so it's nothing to be fazed by. I head to the bathroom but then I'm pushed up against some lockers. What is with people harassing me today?
“Go on a date with me on Friday,” Alex says
“Why should I? I have no reason to,” I say shoving him off of me. I start to storm away
“Unless you wanna ruin your pristine little image you kept up for Daddy dearest I suggest you go out with me,” He says the snarkiness relaid in his tone.
“Yeah, okay fine, what time are you picking me up”
“7 pm, see you then” I walk away from him not daring to look back. I don't want to see his smug face looking back at me like he just won some award.
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