Laura’s POV
I’m walking with Syd down the hall, we’re leaving early for our date today. I really do hope Syd can stay this whole time because last time her work was super demanding but I understand that not many people want to work in our dingy arcade. I told Sienna that we weren’t going to be there for lunch but she was zoned out.
Her father must’ve been pissed. I hopped in the car next to Syd, she was a year older than me and had a driving license. We’re heading to the only ice cream parlor in town (that I know of). This morning I was so pumped for this date but now I don’t want to go. I mean don't get me wrong I love Syd but she never pays attention to me. I’ve kind of gotten accustomed to it but it still hurts. She’s my girlfriend and she just throws me away but I think she's just trying to understand herself. So it’s fine.
“Hey, we’re here,” Syd says and gets out of the car. Slamming the door shut in the process. It’s fine, she’s probably just agitated with school or something. We head inside, order, and sit down all in silence. What is up with her today, she seems so, ugh. Is it something I did? I really hope not. I’m always in the wrong when it comes to Syd but it's okay she’s figuring herself out and that takes time.
She was different when we first met. She was sweet, charming, and awfully hot. She cared for me a lot more then. She would buy me flowers, bring me chocolates. I wonder what changed? It started a couple of months ago when she came to school all silent. Staring at her phone 24/7 not caring about my history facts or my friendly dates with Sisi. No more chocolates or bouquets. Not even kisses and she used to say how much she loved them!
I asked her what was wrong a week later and why her attitude suddenly changed. She told me “Well you never got me flowers” and “You don’t pay attention to me. Always off in la la land, thinking of who knows what?”. She was right. I never bought her flowers or chocolate and I always spaced out when she was talking. She was right, it was my fault. How could I be so oblivious to her emotions?
“Hey Syd, you okay? You seem phone focused right now,” I ask cautiously. I always feel like I'm walking on glass when I'm around her.
“Yeah, I'm fine. What’s it to you anyway? It’s not like you care for me,” Syd said and scoffed “Do you even understand the distress I feel right now?” I shook my head. “Unbelievable” she murmured. It’s my fault.
“I'm sorry I made you feel that way, could you tell me what's wrong?” I asked. My leg starts bouncing. I hate confrontation and all kinds of fighting even if it's not directed towards me.
“Why should I tell you? You’re too dumb to understand,” She said in utter disbelief. Then she goes back to typing violently. It’s my fault, I wanna go home.
“Oh, sorry” is all I simply manage to get out. The tears try to escape my eyes, I push them away.
“You should be” She rolls her eyes. It’s my fault, I wanna go home. We leave the parlor and go to the arcade she works at but this time to play games. I’m the only one participating. I shot the winning point and beat the record for the basketball hoop game. She’s smiling at her phone.
It’s my fault.
I hit the jackpot and got 100 tickets. She’s still on her phone.
It's my fault.
I won her a plushy that took all my tickets to get. She says she doesn’t like it and tosses it back to me as I haphazardly try not to drop it, meanwhile, she's looking at her phone.
It’s my fault.
We get in the car.
“Take me home,” I say “Please,” She looks me in the eye for the first time tonight. Started the car, smiled at me, and drove me home. The ride there was silent.
We got to my house. Before she could say goodbye I dashed out of the car. Pounding on the door till Mom opened it and ran upstairs before she could ask me what was wrong. I lay on my bed crying. Thinking the same thing over and over again.
It’s my fault.
It’s my fault.
It repeated in my head over and over and eventually, it lulled me to sleep. Nightmares were what played in my head. Nightmares of being left behind and unwanted. Nightmares of Sisi laughing at my face saying I'm not good enough. Pictures of Syd with someone else. My parents hate me because of my not so good grades. The look on Sisi’s stepdad's face on that night, plagued my sleep. I woke up several times that night hoping that someone would finally appreciate me.
—-------
The next day
I get up and get dressed like I normally do but this time I don't check for any text from Syd or anyone for that matter. I headed downstairs not bothering to wish my parents well as they were going to ask me what was wrong and that's not what I need right now. I get to the school in tears wondering why it's my fault. The reason why Syd is mad at me. I look down at my phone. 5 missed calls from Syd and 1 from Sisi? Why did she call me yesterday? She's calling again. I pick up the phone.
“Heyyy” she pauses. “no wait I'm supposed to be mad. How dare you leave me alone at the lunch table. I waited a whole twenty minutes and you weren’t there and the last block I was looking for you in our usual spot but weird Chris was in YOUR spot. So I was forced to make small talk with a STRANGER, well he’s not really a stranger but still and not to mention he smelled absolutely fowl. Like ever heard of deodorant also what's with that new assignment teacher posted? She knows we all hate clay sculptures. ugh, this is stressing me out” I heard her gasp for air over the phone.
“Anyway, how are you?” I couldn’t help but laugh at her. How could she be so upbeat and eccentric at such early hours in the morning, especially after the fight with her dad? Sisi works in mysterious ways. It was kind of adorable. I laughed even harder than before when she huffed really loud.
“How dare you laugh at me, I'm offended” That made me laugh even harder them before.
God, I love my best friend. We talked for a little bit and eventually got off the phone. We were going to meet up in a few minutes anyway.
My best friend doesn't make me feel like Syd does. Lonely and on edge maybe Syd isn’t who I thought she was.
Sienna POV
bike parked in the driveway. I drive my bike in fake anger, I stomp up to Laura and all my fake anger fades away at the sight of her face. She turned her head away but I already saw.
Her tear stricken mascara falls down her face. She’s crying and hard at that. I run up and hug her, we sink to the ground. A few moments later we’re cuddling in the grass and I'm petting her hair. School had already started but I couldn’t care about that right now. My best friend needs my help and I'm not going to push her aside. Well at least not again especially not after what my ‘father’ did. I close my eyes, her breathing is back to normal. good she's better.
“Hey Luari, are you okay?” I say gently.
“Yeah im uh okay i suppose I just had a horrible date with Syd yesterday,” she said leaning into my hand that was petting her hair.
“Aw, what happened? Did she hurt you? You know you can come to me for anything right?” I go into a frantic panic. Laura lets people walk all over her, ALL THE TIME.
“NO, no that didn’t happen she just kind of-” she started mumbling.
“Say that again Lauri I didn’t hear you”
“Well uh” she pauses and starts mumbling again
“Damn Lauri, I've never seen you this quiet, could you speak up?”
“S-sorry, she ignored me for her phone all day. She didn’t accept the gift I gave her and got upset at me for asking what was wrong. It was
How dare she laugh at me, I’m gonna beat her ass. I stomped to my
“Hey Sisi, what do you need?” I asked, trying to clear my throat and for some reason, God was on my side.
It’s my fault.
kind of my fault, she’s going through something right now and I made her even more upset.” Laura said so fast I nearly didn’t hear it all.
“Honey, do you even know why she's upset?” I ask, trying to be calm because I could just be misunderstanding the situation but it feels like she’s downplaying Syd’s behavior.
“Well no, she said I was too dumb to understand but we both know I am, I mean look at my grades they are horr-”
“She called you what?” I'm seething with rage. Her own girlfriend called her stupid for asking if she was okay. Syd is an ass wipe of a girlfriend. I breathe in, I need to calm down Laura does not need my anger right now. I breathe out.
“ S- she didn’t mean it, she was just uh angry,” Laura said. She got out of my arms and started walking away. Concealing her face from my view.
“She has no reason to be angry with you, you literally just asked her how she’s feeling unless she's hiding something from you, which is likely considering what she did when she first moved”
“What are you implying? That she's cheating? Syd would never do that to me she loves me”
“She clearly doesn’t if she treats you like this. Like you're a piece of shit. Which you aren’t by the way.”
“No, she isn't just being dramatic like you’ve always been. You’ve been playing the hero ever since we were kids. Why can’t you just let me be happy?”
“I want you to be happy just not with Syd!”
“Why? Why does it even matter to you?”
“BECAUSE I LO–” I pause, breathe in, breathe out, “ because I love you, you are my best friends and I just want the best for you and Syd is not it.
“Then stop trying to ruin my happiness, you are the worst thing that has ever happened to me!” she yelled at me then stomped off in a hiss of rage leaving me stunned. She's never been this mad at me not even after the incident. I shouldn’t have tried to mess shit up again.
I sat on the ground, rubbed my face, and looked at my hands when I felt a sort of wetness on them. I'm crying, hah, How do I always mess everything up? I didn’t dare enter the school because Laura went into the building and then I would have to face Laura. I'm not exactly ready for that right now. I was just trying to help you, why won’t you recognize that she inst good for you? I think, grabbing my bike and heading to the only place I felt joy. The woods.
—--------------------
It's been a while since I’ve been here, the last time was with Laura when she told me she was dating Syd. That was when my heart broke for the second time. Other than that this place brings me peace. The fresh air and crisp wind reminded me of my dad's earthy brown hair blowing in the breeze from when he used to walk me around the woods. He used to show me the different herbs and plants.
TBC
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