My mother always told me, “Elliot, the best way to deal with a problem is to distract yourself with something else.”

She actually never uttered those words in her life. But a childhood dream of mine was to have an evil parent to qualify myself as a main character. And if I did have an evil mother, her words of encouragement would have stuck with me Saturday night. 

Instead of processing the wide array of feelings that had bubbled up in the last 48 hours, I got back to work. The train ride home gave me plenty of time to decide on what would hopefully be my last attempt to start this fight.

When I got back to my room, I headed straight for my desktop. Rin had been over so many times before that he started getting tired of logging back into his email. Now he was perpetually logged in and with a click of a button, I had access to almost anything. I usually forgot about it, even when I switched between accounts. The tiny photo of Rin in a suit from one of his many family photo shoots grew to just be a part of the background. 

But at 10 pm Saturday night, that little fact meant everything. It meant that I could log into his Instagram account without him being notified. It meant that because he already mentioned being dragged to church early the next morning, he wouldn’t be awake to see any incoming notifications from Stephanie.

Before logging in, I double checked from my phone that Rin wasn’t active. From there, it was simple to find his conversation thread with Stephanie. 

I really should be patting myself on the back for not scrolling upward and seeing what else they’d sent each other. Yet even in the haze of my frantic need to get this finished, it felt wrong to intrude more than I planned on. 

The only thing I saw was them telling each other good night half an hour earlier. That meant Rin was probably asleep.

Hopefully, Stephanie wasn’t.

For the next 20 minutes, I messaged Stephanie Huarez like I was her boyfriend. 

I couldn’t bear to spend the day without her, I claimed. There was a classy dinner place I’ve been dying to show her, I lied. 

I sent off the address of the first 3 dollar sign restaurant I could find that didn’t require a reservation and held my breath, waiting for her to agree.

When she did, the relief was short-lived. It would be hours before I knew if my deception had worked. I wished her goodnight in the same way that Rin had and prayed that soon, all the deceit would be over.

—————

I couldn’t remember the last time I was so stressed on a Sunday. Anything I consumed went down my throat like a lump of coal. I’d put on a million different movies to distract myself but each time the credits rolled around, I couldn’t remember a thing. I just stared at my phone instead. Waiting.

I waited for Rin’s text, complaining that Stephanie was pissed over a date he never agreed to. I also waited for Rin to call me, furious that I’d broken into his account. 

It was a bit less likely for the second scenario to happen though, since he’d probably think he’d been hacked before he thought I was the one who broke into his account. And to be totally safe, I’d sent a random cat reel to Stephanie and a few of his friends. If Rin just glanced at his inbox, he’d never see the tail end of dinner plans. So he’d never get the chance to cancel them.  

When the hours continued to pass without a word from him, I tried to remind myself that this fake date was for dinner. Then, midnight came around, Rin hadn’t called, and I was out of DVR movies to watch.

Had my plan failed again? Were these two immune to fighting? Why else hadn’t he texted me after Stephanie blew up on him?

For the third night in a row, sleep evaded me. The few hours I did get felt like nothing when I woke up and still looked like shit.

The only thing keeping my eyes from closing shut at any second was my simultaneous hope and dread that it had worked. Finding out what really happened after Stephanie showed up at that restaurant and Rin didn’t was the only thing getting me through a bleak and cold Monday morning. 

Yet as I walked through the halls of Emmett High school unusually early for class, I remembered the English assignment that was due at the beginning of 2nd period. After going out with James and lying to Steph and freaking out about life, I’d completely forgotten it. 

Missing a quiz grade was the sort of thing 16-year-olds should worry about in high school. Not all the other stuff that had been taking up my mental space in the past couple of weeks. 

If I ran into my first class and used the entire history lecture to finish my rough draft, I might be able to get away with it. Ms Gupta was one of my favorite teachers. But there was no doubt in my mind she’d give me a 0 if I showed up to her door empty handed.

That’s why Rin found me typing furiously when he walked into class that morning. I noticed that he got in a whole 10 minutes before the bell was set to ring. He hadn’t done that in months. 2 months exactly.

Did that mean he hadn’t talked to Stephanie this morning? 

This weekend was the worst, though. I still had a rough draft to finish and a grade to save so when Rin tried to make conversation, I admitted that I didn’t have time to talk. He’d taken the time to scooch his desk in closer but I was forced to scooch mine back. 

I wish I had the time. I wish that him putting his elbows on my desk to talk wouldn’t keep me from stringing thoughts together well enough to finish this assignment. 

Desperately, I wanted to ask about Stephanie. “Is she upset with you?” Or, “Did something happen last night?”

Except I’m not supposed to know that. And he didn’t bring it up. And there were 55 minutes left for me to upload this thing to turnitin.com.

That was about the time when James walked in. He’d barely opened his mouth to say hello when Rin informed him,

“El’s busy with an assignment.” 

He waited until James slipped into his desk before adding, “he can’t talk.”

If I had the time, his uncharacteristic sass toward James would have concerned me. I would have thought longer about why two people who are so similar refuse to get along. But Mr Anderson was starting class, meaning I had 45 minutes left.

I got back to typing as quietly as I could. It was a miracle the old man didn’t get on me for not focusing on his drawn out and often directionless flow of words. The roughest rough draft known to man was submitted with 3 minutes to spare and I was finally able to process information that didn’t have to do with analyzing the Scarlet Letter.

I smiled when the bell rang signaling the end of first period. Without the need to look vaguely interested as Mr Anderson talked, I could have had a conversation with Rin and tried to bring up Stephanie. There were enough minutes in between classes to see if he would mention a text argument or a fight over the phone. 

Then James pinched the corner of my t-shirt, saying the pale purple complimented my eyes and when I turned back around, Rin was gone. I hadn’t heard the screech of metal against tile when he left, only seeing the empty desk he left behind.

I’d barely spared him a glance this morning so I had no idea if he was happy or upset. Angry or content. James started talking again so I tried to listen and smile so he wouldn’t pick up on my mood and try to ask me what was wrong. 

With how exhausted I was about everything, there was a good chance I would have done the wrong thing and told him the truth.

Math class made it obvious that I’d failed. Rin still sat at the front and I at the back so I couldn’t ask him about it. But I saw the way he laughed and joked around. He was so happy, even the jokes the teacher made got him cracking up. I didn’t know how, but for some reason, him standing Stephanie up yesterday had done nothing.

I needed to know why. But asking was as tricky now as it was before. 

Rin wanted to talk about sports. Soccer was really interesting this year, I guess, because he tried to get me invested in matches I never watched. It was cute to see him nearly bump into other guys in the halls over some games in Europe. Less cute that this fixation pointed toward a future where my brilliantly formulated plan crumpled faster than the paper I wrote it on. 

Where do I go from here? I wondered as Rin dragged me–grinning all the way–into the cafeteria. My most dramatic attempt had failed. Do I just pretend to support them now? Swallow down my disdain for the next however many months they stayed together?

“Steph just texted,” Rin paused with his hand on the cafeteria door handle, eyes intently scanning his phone. “Ooh, she says we need to talk. Hope it’s nothing serious.”

With the cheer of a man completely unaware of the mess he was about to run into, Rin told me to get them some food while he spoke with Stephanie. His parting words put a pep in the steps I took into that lunch line. 

They weren’t fight proof, Stephanie just hadn’t confronted him yet!

In minutes, I would be hearing the good news–good for me, bad for Rin–that she was absolutely livid. Pizza was on the menu today and I enjoyed the whole grain slice of cheese with a carton of milk like Gordon Ramsey himself had prepared it for me. Life was so much better when things went to plan.

“You’re awfully cheeky this morning,” Colby said the second I set my tray down next to his. “I thought after the last three gloomy meals you’d actually turned emo.”

“Never,” I huffed, squatting down onto the plastic disk they called a seat with all the manly flare I could gather. “Depressed isn’t even in my vocabulary.”

“Never say never.”

Tyler’s quiet warning was the last thing I heard before Rin stormed into the room, smoldering eyes pointed on me alone. 

My previous confidence about plans and success evaporated in an instant. I’d made too many mistakes. He figured out it was me. Quickly, I got out of my chair, ready to deny deny deny-

“She ambushed me,” Rin paced in front of us, hands going from his hips to his hair to his sides and never finding a place to settle. “Her and 5 of her friends were standing there, saying that I  planned a date I didn’t show up to because I was cheating on her with other girls. It’s a bunch of bullshit!” 

Step 3: Cause a Fight

Calling this a fight was an understatement. I’d caused a war. Although I was pretty set on avoiding the topic of cheating when I crafted my plan, human beings are creative things. There’s nothing I could do now that the idea was in Stephanie’s head. But maybe it’s for the best. Maybe this was how it was always supposed to go.

The three of us watched him pace back and forth a couple more times before he froze, glaring harshly at the linoleum floors.

“You know what? I don’t need this shit,” he whispered, gaze practically burning red. “Elly, we’re going.”

I tried to tell him that I hadn’t finished my milk and the apple slices would taste weird if I took them with me. But my words hit Rin’s back as he’d already spun around, rushing away. I had to jog to catch up and was within arms reach by the time he got out of the room. Outside of the cafeteria, Rin didn’t slow down. His rushed walk turned into a run and I barely managed to keep his back in view. 

In seconds, he reached the entrance and ran into the handle with both hands. The double doors swung open widely, hitting the walls on either side. At the top of the old stone steps, he finally stopped long enough to turn and see me. There was no surprise on his face to see that I’d actually followed him all the way out here. 

Because that’s what best friends do. Join their besties on random, possibly hazardous excursions. Even if that meant following said friend over a cliff.

This particular round of cliff jumping left the two of us standing right outside the entrance of Emmett High school, shivering like wet cats. It was officially winter in downtown Toronto so the occasional gust of wind blew so hard against me that my skin hurt. But Rin was so deep in mope land, I worried that it would be hours before he stepped back inside. 

Time for the power of friendship–and my superior sense of humor–to save the day.

“Since they hit you with a move straight out of mean girls, do you want us to pull something out of another teen drama for revenge?” I asked, knowing that he could hear the smile on my face. “I think something from Clueless would really show them up.”

“Elly . . . ”

“Come on, Rin. I think it’s fun,” I pressed, casually dropping my hand on his shoulder. “It would show them that you don’t care about-”

“No, you don’t care!” 

My heart leapt into my throat. Rin spun around suddenly, teeth bared like he knew that I was the cause of all this shit. Like he knew the truth.

“My girlfriend thinks I’m cheating on her and you just want to joke around? Goddamn it, Elliot.”

He pushed his palms into his eyes, sucking in deep breaths like his sanity depended on it. I didn’t move an inch. I might be an idiot at times and just plain stupid otherwise, but I knew that he was this close to blowing up on me again. So if I needed to pretend like I didn’t exist for a couple seconds to avoid that ending, I’d do it.

We didn’t fight often. And when we did, Rin never talked to me the way he did just moments ago. Dating Stephanie was taking its toll on Rin. So I remind myself that this was almost over. My best friend would be all mine soon enough.

“Let’s just go home,” he sighed, dropping his hands to then stuff them deep into the pockets of his coat. “I don’t want to think about her right now.”

Rin started what would probably feel like the longest walk we’ve ever taken to my house and all I could do was follow.