Chapter 2

Let Me Go

The second my legs leave the railing I feel arms wrap around my waist. No. No!

“Stop! Let me go!”

Tears are rolling down my cheeks, the person behind me gripping me tightly. My breath quickens. Why? I just want to be done with this. I whip my head around to see who my captor is. Surprise steals my breath away.

“Jordan? What are you doing?!” I sob.

“What am I doing? What are you doing?!” He demands.

“What the hell do you think?!!” Why did he have to show up? Why? Why? Why? I just wanted to die.

“Suicide? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Does he really not know? Does he think I don't hear what my family says about me, what he says about me?

“You’d prefer it that way and we both know it!” Wet droplets fall off my chin. Confusion is written on his face. Does he have to torment me? To make me say it out loud?

Shock. Horror. Another emotion I can’t read runs in his eyes. I avert my gaze.

“Why Gabrielle?” He grabs my chin to force me to look at him.

The answer comes easily. “My parents never wanted me, my siblings never wanted me, you never wanted me and now I don’t want myself. I’ve never, not once been a part of the Carter family.  Just a bother on the side.”

Jordan puts an arm around my shoulder, leading me somewhere. I go because what choice do I have? I can’t run from him. I never could. I understand where we’re going when we take the reversed path I took to get here, he’s taking me home. I start to struggle again. I can’t go back. Not now. They’ll just torture me more. 

“Jordan, please no. I don’t want to go back. They’re going to be so mad.”

He stops. Glares at me. He’s going to tell me to shut up and go away! 

“How could you say that? They’re your family, they care about you.”

Damn it. I look away, a sob tears out of my throat.

“No. They don’t. They haven’t even pretended to care about me for my entire life. I’m not their family. I never was.”

Jordan says nothing, his grip on wrist never loosening as he drags me up the walkway. He opens the front door to reveal Mom, Dad, Eva and David are all standing in the foyer, staring at us, at me. 

“Why would you run away, Gabrielle?!!”

The exclamation comes from Eva, she always stole my things or pretended I didn’t exist. Why was she worried now?

“She did worse.”

Jordan’s voice is grim.

“She was about to jump off a bridge.”

Dead silence. This time, Mom is the one yelling.

“You selfish brat! How could you try to take your own life! This family needs you! You have to tutor David and-”

Eva, to my surprise, cuts her off.

“Mom, stop. Gabrielle, why did you try to jump off a bridge?”

It’s quiet again, all of them gazing at me expectantly. I can’t take it anymore, do they really not know?

“All of you hate me, and you don’t even try to hide it! You’ve tortured me, ignored me, bullied and belittled me my entire life! I have no friends thanks to David, you treat me like shit. It’s my birthday today! I’m sixteen now. Sixteen miserable years of life, you didn’t even stay home to sing me a stupid little song, but I kept hoping… Maybe, for once you would care. Jordan tricked me, promised you would be back in time. Of course not, I heard you  downstairs.  Why wouldn’t I jump?”

“Gaby, honey, I’m so sorry you felt that way, but it’s not true. We love you, but it feels like sometimes you just ask too much from us.” 

Dad steps towards me, as if he might hug me. I laughed, probably maniacally.

“Oh, I  ask too much of you? I haven’t asked for anything except for your love, but you used it all on your other kids, and the one you took in when he was abandoned. Maybe me and Jordan should have switched places, then you could have your perfect little family without me here to ruin it.”

I shake Jordan’s hand off and run upstairs. I passed David, definitely too quickly to be sure, but he looked like he was crying. Like maybe he was sorry- No! Nope, not going there. I’ve been down that road for sixteen years. It was time for a new path.