Enoki gave a small nod as ze pulled out the dark blue paper, unfolding it with great care. Li’tiana barely glanced at it before gasping. “Ze cannot get that accursed wood! The chaos from cutting it alone. . . ” She bit her thumb a moment before speaking again. “We could send a messenger and let the village know to give something to substitute!”

“You will not. Because the shapeshifters did that. The last little chick was tricked and that is why they died. They did not wish to give their item of holy essence, and paid the price with their race. It is gone forever now.” He glanced to Enoki as ze tried to put the paper away. “You can ask for help but if you are tricked, all is lost. Each race you fail will die. Their stories will be lost. And should you fail too many, the world will crumble away.”

Ze watched as the stars moved to show everything coming apart and being blown away. “I just like cooking. I like finding recipes. I was never an adventurous person.”

“Bravery and talent come in many forms. And you are the one we need. You trust. You want to learn and understand. You will grow into that which the world needs. I choose to believe in you.”

A heavy silence filled the tent. The possibility of success or failure was almost too much for anyone in there to bear. After looking at the empty bowl, Enoki slowly spoke up again. “I was told to find my flock. How can I do that if I can’t tell people honestly what I am doing?”

The stars hesitated on who to make answer this question, flitting between the two elves.  Li’tiana waved her hand, summoning the stars over and gently raising hir chin with a long finger. “You will know. It cannot be us, though we may meet again. But you will know. I trust in the Cycle and the Great Song. If they choose to cooperate with those they quarrel with, then you are the right choice. Have faith in our faith, so that you may believe in your task.”

With that the stars faded away, the tent looking like a plain old canvas tent. Li’tiana looked to Mo’ton and then to Enoki. “We have a tradition I hope you won’t find too upsetting. The first night of life, a new babe is left with a father. The mother ensures it is fed, but the babe is allowed to cry and wail as much as it needs. We allow this because we believe we are part of a cycle. That my soul was in another before this and will again after my life completes. This gives the new life a chance to mourn the old one.” 

With unnatural grace she got up and walked to the tent door, her ears lowering a bit. “Tonight, as you feel it is needed. . .  wail. Without shame or reserve. I will ensure you are fed. And Mo’ton will tend to your tears.”

Enoki looked at the tent and back inside the bag. “So, you think this thing has a bedroll? I didn’t really look inside it before. Everything happened so fast. Maybe there’s some paper in here so I can get the recipes.”

The sound of shifting fabric coming closer was the only other sound in the tent. Enoki was scooped up, bag and all, and placed on Mo’ton’s lap. He took off hir helm and placed it back on hir hand, watching as it disappeared back into its home in hir palm. Looking up at the elf brought back memories of sitting on hir own father’s lap. Even early in life telling him that ze didn’t feel like a boy or a girl. Hir father stroking hir hair and saying it was ok. 

“I’m here for you little chick.” Mo’ton’s words almost perfectly echoed that moment in the past. “It’s ok if you don’t feel like the form you are in. Or if what the Gods gave you confuses you. You will figure it out one day.”

A large drop appeared on Enoki’s lap. Ze looked down as more spots began to join the first. A choked sob escaped hir throat as ze tried to speak. “I—I won’t see them again. I won’t see my Dad, or my Mom. We—we were going to South Africa next month. I was going to learn new recipes I—”

Hir gloved hands gripped onto the now dappled pants. These weren’t hir normal clothes. It felt like a cosplay. Ze only wore gloves in winter and when cooking for others. The gloves suddenly retracted into the silver and gold circles on hir palms.  The clothing suddenly fluffed out from being so form fitting and created the appearance of a blue and orange nightshirt and pants. Enoki let go of the now soft pants and looked at hir hands. The silver and gold circles were still there, easily bending with hir grip. 

Ze shouldn’t cry.

Ze had to get it together so ze could focus.

Right?

“You lost much and gained much in the same day.” Mo’ton’s voice was in the slightest sing—song tone, “Old weights are on you. Say and do what you need to. And scream to the void of the Great Change as we support you.”

Enoki could feel the hot tears coming faster, as if trying to burn away the pain. “I wanted to live! I wanted to be with my family! This is too much! I can’t fight, I don’t hunt. I can’t make all these things. I want my family! I want my friends! I want my job!”

Mo’ton’s voice stayed soft and gentle, wrapping around Enoki’s heart in warmth and safety. “Then show me how it makes you feel.”

A big gulp of air entered hir lungs and ze screamed. Raw and primal. Hir arms swung back before ze bent over and started slamming hir fists onto the rough canvas floor. Cursing the goat, the person that recommended the place, and hirself. Mo’ton held hir close but did not stifle the screaming or thrashing. A soft hum from him meant Enoki kept hitting some invisible shield, preventing any harm. 

The screams and sobs went on until Enoki’s throat was too sore for any more. The screaming turned into soft whimpers over time. Hir eyes were unable to make anymore tears as ze curled up on Mo’ton’s lap. 

“Do you feel better?” His thumb gently wiped away a few remaining wet spots on hir face.

A small sniffle,then Enoki softly spoke up. “I cursed the gods that brought me back.”

“I’m certain it’s not the first time. It’s probably why they rushed everything. Less direct yelling when they give you your mission.”

That got a small chuckle and groan from Enoki. “What if I can’t do this? I don’t want anyone to die. Not because I screwed up some spice or burned the food.”

Mo’ton went back to stroking hir hair. “The Gods know this is a great task. One only someone with memories from outside could complete. In the end, they can only ask us as imperfect beings to do what we can with the gifts we are given.” He turned over hir hand. “This alone shows they want you to succeed, and understand it will be hard. The gods have made it to where you won’t use too much magic and need too much food to complete your tasks.”

“Is that why everyone kept giving us snacks?” As if summoned, Li’tiana appeared with two large plates covered in various fresh fruits and vegetables, along with cheeses and breads and the roasted Twilight crow from before.

She squatted down on her tiptoes as Enoki made hir way to the food. “Yes, magic both natural and summoned will cause great hunger. It is the price we pay for using what is meant for gods.” Li’tiana held up an orange apple like fruit which Enoki quickly took. 

“Your shape shifting will use energy. So will blessings like you did before. Most likely you will learn spells as you move along. You will need to learn to prepare food quickly.”

Enoki took a big bite and thought for a moment. There was that curtain that kept everything safe. That would be best right? Ze could make a lot of food when there was time and keep it in there, safe and sound until needed. Figuring out the flavors of food with only very vague memories, not to mention what was safe to forage and when, was going to be fun. And lack of money. Ze was pretty sure ze was now dead ass broke.

“So,” Ze covered hir mouth as ze spoke around the food, trying to remember manners this time. “I gotta figure out safe food for me and everything?”

“Shapeshifters couldn’t be poisoned.” Mo’ton smiled warmly. “If you were truly human? That stew would have put you into a coma. Possibly killed you.”

“Well, it was a very tasty poison. When you give me the recipe, I need to know who it can kill so I don’t do it to someone else.”

“It does tend to be poor manners to kill someone at dinner.”

“Tell that to the last restaurant I went to.”

It was a few more hours of switching between sobbing and calming down to try various dishes provided by the now much calmer hosts. More than once Enoki caught hirself about to pounce on the food as if ze hadn’t eaten in a month. Ze could only imagine ze looked like an anime character in the goofier action shows. Like that one about the space warrior girl who cried all the time. Or that one with the super speed super heroes.