Hawk was sitting on the hood of his truck, hugging his knees to his chest when he came back to himself. He slowly opened his eyes, taking a few breaths to clear his head as the environment around him came into focus. He was lightheaded and painfully exhausted. He slowly lay back against the windshield and stared up at the sky, bright and clear. 

Blue eyes…why are my eyes blue in there?

Hero was sound asleep, he could feel the stillness that he had associated with it the day before. Hawk didn’t sleep so it wasn’t something he was too familiar with. He had needed Toji’s help in making that connection since Toji slept. However, the closest thing he could even compare to sleep was being in the Veil. He knew it wasn’t the same, that it was simply his soul walking in the Veil while his body remained in stasis. 

Once, he asked Toji what it was like to dream. Toji had said that it was like floating through a scene that you were in but you could somewhat control. It was a feeling of unreality where it was solid but fluid all at the same time.

Being in the Veil was not a dream. Hero was real; his body was solid, his skin warm, his smell enticing. Yes, there were things he could control and build in there, like the wall he had constructed, but he couldn’t control his emotions, not entirely. He wanted to kiss Hero, to taste him, to possess him. He knew it would be as real as if they had done it out in the real world, but it would likely be far more intense.

His eyes closed and he draped one arm over them. He knew that wasn’t true. On the cliffside, it wasn’t just their souls that were in the Veil, it was their entire selves; they were getting entangled within it, body and soul. What would have happened if they had kissed at that moment? If they had done more than that? They had both felt their energies combining, but not fully connecting. Something was happening to them during that moment, something neither of them could explain. It wasn’t just that they were getting lost in their desire for each other, it was almost as if they were partaking in part of a ritual that had begun long before they were even born. Or, in Hawk’s case, created. However, Toji had made sure they hadn’t gone through with the consummation that was apparently necessary for it to be completed.

Little shit.

Frustrated as he was by what the little imp had done, he also understood why he did it. Getting lost in the Veil without fully understanding how to control the power it gave someone meant losing yourself and potentially falling into complete insanity.

If the Divine didn’t find you first.

It was imperative they learned more about their connection and how to control it. They had to be able to touch each other outside without falling into the Veil, they had to be able to fully understand what they could and couldn’t do within it, and they had to learn how to control the flow of their own energies across the link. It had been a nice surprise when he had been able to calm Hero with his own energy, but a horrible experience for Hero when Hawk’s hatred for Charlotte nearly consumed him.

There was definitely a mutual physical attraction that couldn’t be hidden within the Veil, and it felt amazing when he got to actually hold Hero for the first time. He could still feel him, feel his hands on his back, the warmth of Hero’s body against his own, the feeling of his lips resting on his throat and the tip of his tongue as it blazed a fiery line across his skin.

His hand went to that spot, his finger tracing that line over and over, that same fire racing down to the bottom of his stomach, into his loins. He drew in a sharp breath and his finger stopped. He swallowed as he remembered the taste of Hero’s skin under his lips, the longing to bite into him, to literally drink him in.

Would he have really been drinking Hero’s blood in there, though? It was only their souls that interacted, not their physical selves. Yes, it was all real, but how satisfied would their bodies be if they gave in to their desires in the Veil?

He moved his arm up to his forehead, blinking in the bright light. Toji had said he knew more about the Veil than anyone so he would be the one to glean information from. Hawk sat up and slid off the hood to the ground, leaning against the truck as the last wave of exhaustion finally passed through him. He had been driving when he felt Hero fall unknowingly into the space and start investigating the wall that surrounded his secrets. The pull to join him had been far too strong and trying to resist it had made him sick. Even now, as he climbed back into the driver’s seat, he stepped over the puddle of bloody vomit. 

He only hoped that if anyone came across it, they would think it was some random animal that had puked up their dinner and not some cannibal.

After making sure there was no oncoming traffic on the near-abandoned mountain road, he pulled out of the ditch he had driven into and continued on his way home. He hoped Hero would stay asleep long enough for him to get as much information about the Veil from Toji as was possible. The last thing he needed was to try and explain any unexplained thoughts or feelings he might have during that conversation.

Hero had already explained how he had felt disconnected and lost when Hawk had been feeding, not knowing why he had felt that way. He didn’t want to attempt another sort of disconnection so early on in the process. Hawk was sure Hero would panic if he did and he couldn’t risk it.

He pulled into the garage several minutes later, but instead of going inside, he walked around to the back, past the pool toward the cliffside where he and Hero had been. Looking out over the landscape he was so familiar with, he was troubled by a new sensation that washed over him. Even with his connection to Hero, it didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t here with Hawk. 

For the very first time in his entire existence, Hawk was overwhelmed with an incredible sense of loneliness. Instead of looking for Toji, he sat in the grass, and waited for Hero to wake up.

The information could wait.

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