Over the next several weeks, Hawk and Hero spent nearly every day together working on controlling their connection and what they were able to send back and forth along their own personal highway. At one point, they even tested to see exactly how far apart they could be and still feel each other. Hero had to visit his parents for a couple days out of state which nearly drove Hawk insane on the outside. He was becoming more and more used to having Hero around and, even with being able to be together in the Veil, he hated every second Hero was gone.

However, it was still a good way to learn that distance didn’t matter; they felt each other just as strongly no matter where they were, and could link up in the Veil just as easily. On the outside, they maintained the distance they had agreed on. Hawk didn’t come on to him in any way and, for the first few weeks, they didn’t touch. They hung out at work, but also remembered to keep their personal and professional lives separate. They also made sure they spent time with Jordan and Elaine so they wouldn’t feel like Hawk and Hero weren’t ditching them. Even though the new couple ditched them frequently.

Not that they cared too much. The time they spent together, they filled with working on their energy transfers, holding back anything that might hurt the other, and learning to interpret different waves they sent to each other, both consciously and subconsciously. 

After one intense make out session in the Veil, Hero had buried his face in Hawk’s chest and made the most insane demand he had ever made in his entire life, especially since, one, they weren’t together, and two, he wasn’t a naturally possessive person.

“Hawk,” he said, his arms going around Hawk’s neck. “I don’t want you kissing anyone else out there.”

Hawk tensed.

“Or sleeping with anyone else.”

“Hero, we’re not even sleeping together.”

“I don’t care.” He kissed Hawk’s chest, right above his heart. “You’re mine, Hawk. I’m not going to share you with anyone.”

Hawk had lowered his head to Hero’s shoulder, shaking his head. “I told you not to say that sort of stuff.”

“Why, because it’s making more cracks in the wall?”

Hawk had nothing to say to that. He consented to Hero’s demands, knowing he would have, anyway. Hero had made a point Hawk had tried over and over to deny; the wall was cracking and Hawk couldn’t stop it. Once it fell, the box was next.

One thing they were forced to learn, through Toji’s insistence and to Hero’s great displeasure, was how to build a temporary shield during times when secrecy was necessary. Such as when he and Hawk were talking about the Veil, or Hawk had to have meetings with Charlotte. It also came in handy when he would practice his demon form transformations or any use of his power. It had taken almost a month before he could exceed ten minutes and not feel that high that came along with wanting to go further.

One day, the shield had been up for so long on Hawk’s end, Hero had begun to panic. He had no idea what was going on and was starting to fear the worst until Hawk called him into the Veil. It was the first time they fought and Hawk walked away feeling sick from it.

“How do I know you’re not out there sleeping around or doing something you’re not supposed to be doing?” Hero demanded.

“How many times do I have to tell you it’s nothing like that?” Hawk said. 

“I couldn’t get a hold of you for hours, Hawk. HOURS. I needed you and you were gone from me.” Tears had begun to roll down his face and Hawk’s chest hurt as he watched. 

“Hero, I wasn’t out there whoring around, committing crimes, or doing drugs. I swore to you I was done with all of that and I meant it.”

“Did you mean it when you promised you wouldn’t hide anything from me?”

“Of course I did!”

“Then why are you hiding things from me now?”

“Hero, the only things I’m hiding are behind that wall, and anything that’s associated with it is handled behind that damn shield.”

Hero stared at him. He knew Hawk wasn’t doing anything illegal, but his past was still a huge mystery to him. That door haunted his dreams, and now that shield was just adding to the anxiety.

“I’m trying to find out stuff to help us in here, alright? I’m trying to find out more about that ritual we got caught up in. If we get it wrong, if we don’t have the power of the Veil under complete control, we could get fucked and I’m trying to avoid that. What I’m learning is something I can’t explain to you without having to explain any of that!” He pointed to the wall as a large chunk broke free. 

Both of them had noticed by then that the damage that wall was undergoing was becoming greater and greater. Before too long, everything Hawk was hiding from Hero and himself would be exposed and Hawk was doing his best not to let his anxiety show.

“Hero, you promised me you’d trust me.”

“Why should I?” Hero asked quietly, turning away.

Hawk reached out to him, grabbing his wrist. “Because I li—” Not for the first time, he felt a deep tearing sensation in his chest. He staggered back, letting go of Hero and clutching his chest. Hero, eyes wide with genuine worry, went to him, wrapping his arms around him until Hawk could breathe normally again and the pain had subsided. As he rested his head in Hero’s lap, waiting for the nausea to pass, they both watched as the wall broke apart, bricks crumbling to the ground, turning to dust.

No…I can’t…I can’t!

He wrapped his arm around Hero’s legs. He could deny it all he wanted, but the truth was being revealed right in front of them, even if Hero couldn’t see it quite yet. He couldn’t risk giving his heart away…

But worse still, he couldn’t risk losing Hero.

“I won’t use it for so long next time,” Hawk said pitifully, burying his head in his arm. “Please don’t leave…” he whispered.

Hero stroked Hawk’s hair, watching as brick after brick fell and shattered. He turned his gaze to his own door, watching as it slowly opened, revealing a faint light that stretched its way through the giant hole and falling upon the wooden box inside.

-*-

“What are your plans for the weekend?” Jordan asked Hawk one afternoon as they waited outside the property manager’s office of the apartment complex where Hero and Elaine lived. It was a warm day, a gentle breeze blowing in to help balance out the heat. Hawk didn’t mind it, of course, but he knew Hero did. He also knew where Hero wanted to go and for how long. Hawk had tried to argue and lost miserably.

“We’re going to the lake.”

“‘We’? As in—” he waved a finger between Hawk and the building.

Hawk reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He took out a brand new one hundred dollar bill and two gift cards and handed them over without saying a word or looking in Jordan’s direction.

Jordan stared at him, unsure of just what to say. He had joked for weeks over what he would do with his winnings, but he never believed it would actually happen. Hawk Helman didn’t grow feelings for anyone. He didn’t form connections. He didn’t fall in love.

“Have you told him yet?”

Hawk shook his head, gently raising the shield. He didn’t do it very often after the fight they had and Hero had learned that when he did, there was a damn good reason for it.

“I can’t,” he said under his breath. “Every time I try, or I say something even remotely related to it, it literally tears me up inside.” He rubbed a hand over his chest, remembering every single painful rent he had endured for the sake of his feelings for Hero. He didn’t resent it, he just didn’t understand it.

Jordan put his winnings in his pocket and stared at the building before them. “Loving someone isn’t a death sentence, dude.”

“It might be for me.”

“Why, because you’re not human?”

Hawk tensed, his fingers gripping his arms.

Jordan grinned and nudged his friend. “I’m kidding bro, lighten up. Just tell him at the lake or something. Who knows, maybe he feels the same way. I wouldn’t be surprised by the way he looks at you.”

Hawk knew damn well how Hero felt about him. It was physical attraction and possessiveness, that was all. There was no box of feelings hiding next to a chained door for Hero Grace. What they had going was beyond what anyone else could explain, but it wasn’t like Hero actually felt anything that deep for him. How could he? Hawk was a demon, one of the worst that ever existed. Humans by nature did not fall in love with demons, it was impossible.

“By the way,” Jordan said, his voice cutting through Hawk’s depressing thoughts. “I only said one gift card.”

“Take her on two dates, then.”

He was lowering the shield when the two friends walked out, Hero tucking the rent receipt into his wallet. Hawk’s heart leapt into his throat as Hero neared him, that brilliant smile lighting up his whole face. Hawk smiled back.

“Get to live here another month?” he asked.

“‘Fraid so,” Hero shrugged. 

“Where do you want to go for lunch?” Elaine asked Jordan.

“Texas Roadhouse sounds good. You guys want to come with?”

“I need to walk my goldfish,” Hawk said.

“I’m on my period,” Hero said.

“Well, fuck you both, I’ll just take my girlfriend and go then.” He slapped hands with Hawk and Elaine hugged Hero, whispering something in his ear as she did so. He nodded, his expression changing slightly, his energy wave slowing.

Once Jordan and Elaine had gone, Hero jammed his hands in his back pocket while Hawk stretched his arms, his shirt riding up, exposing his stomach.

“Shall we?” Hawk said, making his way to his truck. 

Hero reached out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him. After weeks of practice, they had managed to control their descent into the Veil through physical contact. Now they could do it at will without fear of touching on the outside.

Both their hearts began to beat rapidly as Hero’s hand slid down into Hawk's, lacing his fingers loosely within Hawk’s. They said nothing, just stood there. But through the connection, Hawk knew everything and his whole body went rigid, his hands beginning to shake, fear beginning to overtake him. No…

“Say something,” Hero said quietly. 

Hawk couldn’t say anything. He was completely consumed by all that Hero had just revealed to him. The bad breakup, the fear of trying again, the attraction that was more than physical from the very beginning, the growth of his feelings into what it was now. He could feel the fire of Hero’s love burning into his chest and it tore open another hole within him. He put his free hand to his chest, clutching his shirt.

“I—can’t—” Hawk choked out, afraid to look at Hero as he turned his red, tear filled eyes up at him, his energy washing over him, full of both hurt and frustration as Hawk pushed him away. “I can’t…Hero…I—”

“I’m in love with you, Hawk,” Hero said softly, his voice cracking. “And you can’t even fucking look at me.”

Hawk stood frozen in place, trying desperately to say something, anything to make this make sense to himself. Humans don’t love demons. Demons aren’t meant to be loved, they’re meant to be feared and despised. As a demon himself, Hawk shouldn’t love anyone or anything. He was immortal, ageless, deathless…he would outlive Hero a thousand times over. He wasn’t allowed to love him, not without a cost. One he wasn’t sure he could pay. 

But that was the problem…he did love Hero. Hero just couldn’t ever know it. Hawk had to be able to leave without him getting hurt; without either of them getting hurt. He had just failed in the most spectacular way.

Hero pulled back his hand and he stormed away, leaving Hawk there as though he were nothing more than another statue to be shit upon by the pigeons. A minute later, Hawk heard a door slam shut, and followed very soon after, the shield Hero never used rose violently between them.

Hawk slowly closed his eyes, one tear splashing to the ground at his feet.

-*-