Four years and eleven months ago (aka one month after he met Ken)

Theo let his sore bottom lip slip from between his teeth and panted for breath. Sweat cooled along his spine at the small of his back, and a fine tremble had set into his thighs from overexertion. Ken’s chest rose and fell choppily beneath his hands, as well. The sheets rustled as he shifted, and then a sharp crack shot through the room.

Pain bloomed across one of Theo’s butt cheeks, and his eyes flew open. Ken just smirked at him and settled back onto the pillows with his hands behind his head. Pearly cum glistened against his abdomen in a trail from the tip of Theo’s red, softening cock. And while his chest rose and fell as he caught his breath, there was no red flush to his face like the one making Theo’s cheeks heated and blotchy.

He felt a sudden urge to hide. So, he carefully lifted off Ken with a groan, then flopped onto the bed beside him and buried his face into the pillows.

“You are a fucking dream bouncing on my cock like that, sweetness,” Ken patted his butt right over where he had just smacked it. Theo watched out of the corner of his eye as he stripped the condom off and rolled out of the bed to go throw it in the trash and grab a few tissues to wipe off his stomach.

When he came back, Theo rolled onto his side. Still a little high from the last hit he took at the party they just came home from, he smoothed out the wrinkles in the sheets and mumbled, “Thanks. I’m still a little nervous about being on top.”

Ken lifted an arm, and Theo curled up against his side, nuzzling into his chest. When he spoke, his voice rumbled against Theo’s cheek. He liked that a lot.

“What are you worried about?” Ken asked him, “If it’s this freshman fifteen, why don’t you just come to the gym with me?”

He put his hand over Theo’s belly and squeezed the little bit of pouch that was there because Theo was lying relaxed on his side. He watched Ken pat it a few times, then looked away. That had not been why he felt self-conscious – he’d been worried about his skill, pacing, and stamina - but it sure as hell was now. If he went to the gym, that would help with his stamina anyway, so maybe it would be a good thing all around.

“Okay,” he agreed.

Then his phone rang in the pocket of his jeans, which lay strewn across the floor. Ken grumbled as he extracted himself to go retrieve it. By the time he managed to untangle his jeans and get the phone out of his pocket, he had already missed the call. He frowned at the notification.

“Who was it?” Ken asked.

“My parents,” Theo sat on the edge of the bed, “Their home number, so probably my dad.”

“What’s he calling this late for?” Ken complained.

“Dunno. I should probably call him back.” Theo unlocked his phone, but before he could do anything else, Ken plucked it out of his hands. He yelped in protest and reached after it, but Ken batted him away.

“Don’t.” He sat the phone face-down on the bedside table with a resounding thud, then grabbed both of Theo’s wrists and drew him close. “You are always in a shitty mood after you talk to him. Don’t call back.”

“But what if it was my mom? Or what if something happened.” Theo’s eyes trailed toward the phone, guilt settling low in his gut when he realized that he just wanted to listen to Ken rather than do the responsible thing and be a good son.

“Call them back in the morning, but don’t let them ruin tonight.” Ken used his grip on Theo’s wrists to flip him onto his back, then pushed his hands over his head and kissed the hinge of his jaw. “Come on, sweetie, you’re with me tonight. Why did you even have your phone on? Honestly.”

Theo glanced at his phone one last time as Ken licked his earlobe, then sucked lightly on it. He sighed and parted his legs to let Ken settle more firmly between them, turning his face to nuzzle and kiss his neck as well.

Today (Noon)

Theo jolted, a plea on his lips that he could hear loudly echoing inside his head. But instead of the kaleidoscopic, jarring nightmare he’d been entrenched in, he was surrounded by silence. Although there was a hand on his shoulder. His heart jumped into his throat, and he instantly shrank away, ending up wedged against the doorframe.

“Theo, it’s alright.”

The car was silent around him – no wind rushing through the open windows or engine rumbling through the frame. There was just the sound of his harsh breathing, loud above the thundering rush of blood in his ears. He swallowed the pleas that rose in his throat and blinked at Abel.

“There you are,” Abel had a hand stretched toward him, but it was lifted unthreateningly, as though he was simply showing Theo where it was so that he knew there was no threat looming. “I’m sorry for startling you.”

Theo smacked his lips together but could not get any words past where his heart was still lodged in his throat. His fingers, which had curled into painful fists in front of his abdomen, uncurled. He stared at the little crescent marks on his palms as blood rushed back into the compressed skin and turned them red. Then he looked up at Abel.

“Oh, come here, sweetheart.” Abel opened his arms to invite Theo to lean across the center console and hide against his chest. He pressed his face into the soft firmness of Abel’s pecs and sighed with relief as his arms wrapped around him. The twinge of breathlessness dissipated as he inhaled the familiar deodorant and that smell unique to Abel.

“Please don’t call me that,” he mumbled.

“Sweetheart?”

Theo nodded.

“Okay, I won’t.” Fingers carded through his hair. “Theo. Theodore. Has anyone ever called you Teddy?”

The gear shifter dug uncomfortably into Theo’s stomach, so he moved to the side a bit. Abel’s embrace followed him, and he never stopped playing with his hair. It would have been nice if they were in a bed instead of the car.

“My mom used to call me Teddy Bear.”

“Oh?” Abel went silent for a couple of thumpity-thump heartbeats that Theo could feel in his chest and then asked, “Would you not like it if I called you that then?”

Theo played with the hem of Abel’s shirt. A teddy bear was a soft, comforting thing, something like the stuffed elephant, whose insides had been spread across the sidewalk to be trampled upon by the people who passed by. Theo was all hard edges and sharp shadows because he had been determined never to end up like that—although he was pretty sure that there was no stuffing left to pull out of him anyway. He was hollow, no more than a shadow.

But how he wished to be something soft and comforting. For Abel to feel as much satisfaction from gathering him into his arms and cuddling him as he felt being held. Maybe he could restuff himself.

“No, I think I would like that.”

Abel dropped a kiss to the top of his head. “Okay, Teddy.”

He held him for a few more minutes as Theo’s pulse slowed, guided by the thump-thump of Abel’s heartbeat in his chest. Firm fingers combed through his hair. If they could stay like this forever and ever, Theo would be so happy. He did not want an ID or to see his aunt or to be a person. He just wanted to exist in Abel’s arms.

“We’re in town,” Abel said eventually. “I figured we could grab a hotel room and maybe some lunch before heading to your aunt’s place.”

“Lunch first?” Theo mumbled into his chest. “I’m hungry.”

“Perfect, because I already pulled up to a little Vietnamese place.”

Theo popped his head up to see that they were indeed parked in a small strip mall parking lot. Flanking the aforementioned Vietnamese restaurant was a nail salon and a laundromat. On the end was a family drug store with a little mortar and pestle sign. Cars whooshed past on the main road, and kids ran around in the picnic area beside the parking lot where a soft-serve ice cream truck was parked.

The Vietnamese restaurant had a few pictures of their dishes in the window and a little blue and red open sign that blinked in the shadow of the awning that stretched over the entrance. Theo looked hopefully at Abel. “Pho?”

“That’s what I was thinking,” he unbuckled his seatbelt and popped open his door. Theo followed suit, unfolding from the car with an exaggerated stretch that felt oh-so-good beneath the blistering hot sun. When he met Abel in front of the car to walk into the restaurant, his hair was assaulted by a much rougher ruffle than the gentle strokes Abel had been soothing him with before. He ducked away with a squawk and put his hands over his head.

“You really should give your hair a break from all the bleach before it all falls out of your head,” Abel told him.

Theo glared and ran his fingers through his hair to fix it. He could feel the dry strands crying out in anguish, so he knew that Abel was probably right. But he had been dying his hair non-stop for a long time, so he could not even imagine doing anything else. Though, he was trying new things, after all.

He glanced in the direction of the drugstore and said, “Why don’t we dye it back to its normal color, and then I can let it grow out a bit before bleaching it again?”

Abel followed his line of sight, then grinned. “That’s a great idea. Let’s go see what they have, and then we can eat, yeah?”

They perused the hair dye section until they found one that Theo thought was probably similar to his natural hair color—chestnut brown. The guy at the checkout popped his gum and checked his phone while they were paying. As they left the store, the little bell above them tinkled, then they crossed over to the restaurant. Theo clutched the bag in one hand, letting it swing back and forth, hitting the side of his thigh.

He ducked into the restaurant when Abel held open the door for him and inhaled the savory, fresh scent of food cooking. A few people sat at the long communal tables stretching across the narrow room, and a couple of others were tucked into the booths that lined the walls. Abel guided Theo toward the counter, where a man directed them to take a seat.