After nearly ten minutes, her voice came out a whimper, “It’s my fault.”

“Is that what you think? Look, I hit Dad because he put his hands on you. But things were already going that way. If it hadn’t been that, it would have been something else. I was going to beat the crap out of him eventually. You can’t blame yourself.”

“It’s not that.” Her Adam’s apple bobbed as she swallowed down a sob. “I overheard Nana talking, and she said... She said Mom left because of that freak.” She blinked a sprinkle of tears out of her eyelashes. “And I know who she was talking about. She was talking about me.”

“Mia. Mia, listen to me.” Her hand felt warm in mine but shook like the tail of a rattlesnake. “That isn’t true. Mom had a ton of stuff going on with her. It wasn’t your fault she left. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. You’re not a freak. Don’t ever think that.” 

I took her face in my hands and turned it toward me. She needed to hear what I was about to say and know it was the truth. Our eyes locked, and I spoke with all the finality I could summon. “Mia, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Do you understand me?”

Her eyes rolled again. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She pushed me away. “You have no idea what it’s like. Don’t act like you do.”

My heart split into pieces—crushed like the glass pipe on the floor. Of course, I didn’t actually have a heart. But I didn’t know that then.

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” I said. “I love you, Mia. I really do. I know we don’t always see eye-to-eye, but you, Selena, Sophia, and Camila are my whole world.” Without a shadow of a doubt, I was absolutely failing her as I stood to leave, but I didn’t know what else to do. “I expect you to get rid of whatever stash you have. Tonight. And if I catch you with that trash in this house again, I will throw you out on the street. If there’s anything you should have learned from what happened with Dad, it’s that I will do whatever I have to in order to protect this family. Even if that means protecting it from you.”

The last thing I expected was for her to laugh. But she did. A cruel, gutted laugh. “I hate to break it to you, but you don’t make the rules around here anymore.”

The snap of the back door echoed, accompanied by the chattering voices of the younger girls. I left Mia’s room and met them in the kitchen. Selena had cut her hair into a bob, but Sophia’s was still tied in that long ponytail of hers. Camila had grown since I last saw her, sprouting at a rate only children her age do. She squealed when she saw me and, admittedly, I wanted to squeal too. Alternatively, I said, “Hey! There’s my monster-faces!”

“Mama!” Sophia and Selena said together.

“I missed you, Mama!” Camila shrieked.

“I missed you too! It’s good to see you!”

I swallowed Camila up in my arms. Sophia and Selena swallowed me up in theirs. Holding little Camila against me, consumed by the smell of her berry Chapstick and the twins’ body lotion, my chest swelled with joy. Tears rushed into my eyes, and I struggled to hold them back. I nearly broke into hysterics when Camila planted a kiss on my cheek.

Sophia broke away first. “This place is trashed,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, it looks like someone was using it as a crash site while we were gone,” I said and left it at that. I shifted Camila onto my hip, and Selena joined Sophia across the room. “What do you say we order some pizza while we clean up? I’ll help you carry your stuff upstairs. Where is it?”

Their faces turned to stone, and they looked back-and-forth between each other.

“Girls?” I pressed. “Where's your stuff?”

“Nana told us not to bring anything,” Selena began.

“She says we’re going to live with her now,” Sophia finished.

There was no way I’d heard that right.

Mia appeared in the doorway. “Told you,” she said.

“She’s waiting outside in her car.” Selena pointed to the door. “She said to come in and say goodbye, but then we have to go.”

“Selena,” my voice shook and I forced it to steady, “how about you run outside and get her, and I’ll tell her where she can shove that idea.”

She laughed. “She’s probably too scared to come inside after what you did to Dad.”

“She should be. No one is taking my girls away from me. Don’t worry. It’s like I promised; after I turn eighteen, I’m going to adopt you. We’re a family. We stick together, right?”

Mia had the tone of a hissing cat. “You’re kidding. You were locked up for assault and battery. No judge in the right mind would grant you custody of a guinea pig, let alone four humans.”

“Dad had it coming,” I countered. “I did what I had to do to take care of you.”

“Yeah? You think that’s going to matter? Did that matter when they arrested you? Did that matter when they found you guilty and sent you away?”

“I’m not going to let this happen. I’m not letting that woman tear this family apart. Where does she get off? Where was she when Mom left? Huh? When Dad turned against us? Huh? She doesn’t get to show up when she wants and act like some kind of hero we don’t need. She’s the reason mom’s life is so messed up.” 

I set Camila on the kitchen tiles and went to the door.

“What are you doing?” Mia asked.

“Getting rid of her. Come on. Let’s all go.” I waved them outside, but not one of them moved. They all stood still, staring at me. “You want to stay here with me, don’t you?” I asked. “Girls?”

They looked away. All except little Camila.

I met her brown eyes and talked to her like I hadn’t in years—like she was a baby. “Monster-face?”

“At Nana’s house, I get my own room,” she said in a small voice. “I don’t want to have to share with Sophia anymore.”

My breaths turned to wheezing. The world collapsed around me. My vision went red. It was a good thing Nana hadn’t come inside, or I really might have done something.

Lacking a face to smash in, I turned my wrath on the car fob in my pocket, slinging it across the room and striking a decorative analog clock on the wall. It fell and shattered into a pile of sharp ceramic pieces. I caught my reflection in the window, and for an instant, swore it wasn’t me standing there with an angry scowl on my face.

It was my father.

Oh no.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted, but the damage was done.

The girls stared at me, eyes wide. Camila hid behind Selena. God, what was wrong with me?

“I’m sorry,” I choked. “I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t mean to... I just don’t want you to go. What can I do to get you to stay?”

“Not that,” Mia snarled. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

The four of them snaked their way around me to the door, Mia first, followed by Camila, then the twins. My limbs felt colder and colder with each step they took. By the time Sophia went through, I couldn’t feel my fingers.

“I’ll bring Mom back!” I barked.

They stopped.

I steadied myself in the doorway. “I’ll bring her back,” I said again, calmly this time.

“How?” Mia asked.

“I’ll find a way. I’ll drag her back here to tell you what a bad idea it is to go live with Nana, and that it’s not your fault she left, Mia. I’m going to fix this. I already made Dad answer for what he did to us. Now it’s her turn. Just stay. And if I can’t bring her back, then you all can go with Nana. I’ll drop you off myself.” I took a breath. “Just, please. Please stay.”

The wind blew Camila’s hair into her face. She let go of Selena’s hand and walked up the back steps to my side. “Okay, Mama,” she said and hugged my legs. “I’ll stay.”

Selena popped her lips and Sophia made a face, but they both climbed the steps and came back inside. Life returned to my dead body.

“Mia?” I said.

Her lip curled. “I guess if everyone else is staying.”

The sigh that burst out of me could have blown down the house. “You won’t regret this, okay?” I picked up Camila and gave her a kiss. “I promise you. I’ll bring Mom back. Now everybody, grab some trash bags, and we’ll get started. I’ll tell Nana—”

“No,” Mia cut in, then turned to the twins. “Selena, you go tell her. It’ll be better coming from you.” She stepped up beside me and uttered, “You better follow through.”

“Don’t I always?”

I tried to lighten the mood with a smile, but a heaviness filled the house. Even after Nana left and the pizzas arrived, I couldn’t relax the knot in my core. Regardless of what it took, I’d find our mother and stop my sisters from making the biggest mistake of their lives. I had to. It was the right thing to do. It was.

I faced the wall as I picked up shards of clock. I didn’t want to see the grim looks on their faces as they stuffed handfuls of filth into trash bags.