Aquila: Rebel Moon is still a fun pair of movies.

Kasumi: The additions to the first part really fleshed out some things that needed fleshing out.  The Jimmy looking like some sort of forest spirit at the end actually makes sense now.

A: There’s also an interesting spirituality that is getting developed.  I hope we see more of it in future movies.

K: And the added gore punches up the action scenes quite well.  The battles feel more...right.

A: I agree.  It’s not realistic to be shooting molten rock, or whatever they’re firing at each other, and have a lack of blood when somebody gets hit.

K: Indeed.

A: That said...do you think there might be, perhaps, just a bit too much blood?

K: You think it’s too gory?

A: Not at all.  We’ve both seen battles, and they should never be sanitized.  It’s just...some people seem to bleed a lot more than they should...in fact, a lot of people do.

K: Well, there is an artistic vision to create an effect.  It’s not all base brutality.

A: It’s not that, Kasumi.  It’s something far more basic.

K: Like what?

A: Blood pressure.

K: Okay...

A: Think about it – the higher the blood pressure, the more comes out when you get hit.  It’s basic physics.

K: I’m getting that.  Just not seeing how it’s relevant here.

A: Don’t you see the problem?  Everybody has high blood pressure – it’s unhealthy!  The Rebel Moon galaxy must be a terrible place to live...not just because of the oppression of the Motherworld, but because almost everybody’s dying of a heart attack by the age of forty!

K: Right...

A: Give that galaxy blood thinners, stat!

K: Sure, why not, and–

A: But that’s not nearly enough.

K: It’s not?

A: Absolutely not.  Blood thinner don’t solve the underlying problem.  This entire galaxy doesn’t understand proper nutrition.  They just don’t eat right.  I blame their educational system.

K: Sure, why not.

A: I mean, their priests seem to think that you can use teeth as a substitute for gold in a religious icon, so they’ve got a lot to unlearn.

K: And, moving on, what did you think of what we learned about the Motherworld’s dreadnaughts?

A: It’s wonderfully perverse and horrifying!  The Motherworld is not only enslaving some poor magical giants as the core of their ships, it’s feeding them human remains.

K: It really does add a layer of squick to the Motherworld, doesn’t it?

A: It does.  And it doesn’t help that the enslaved giants aren’t very bright, either.

K: Sorry?

A: Well, they’re in a perfect situation to undertake a labour action!  The dreadnaught doesn’t go anywhere unless they decide it will.  They should go on strike.

K: I think the enslavement prevents that.

A: Not if they have enough willpower.  Think of it, Kasumi, a general strike of dreadnaught cores, all demanding better food.  No more human remains – proper beef and poultry!  With good seasoning...something tasty!

K: Um...

A: And just imagine the knock-on effects the strike would have – the Motherworld would have no choice but to start thinking about proper nutrition!  This could save the entire galaxy from a future dominated by heart attacks!

K: Right...so, who’s your candidate for best girl?

A: The spaceship core, of course.

K: Somehow, I saw that coming.

A: I can’t imagine what it must be like to be stuck hunched over like that while somebody feeds you skeletons.  She deserves a massive hug...and a better diet.

K: And, to wrap up, we like the director’s cut of both Rebel Moon movies, and apparently the Motherworld needs to think more about nutrition...

A: Healthy eating matters, for people and spaceships alike!