“Do you really think that this stupid game is going to get rid of me, Alden Seraphiel?”
“There you are," Serf Seraphiel said, smiling. “No, it isn’t to get rid of you Demon– it’s to silence you.”
I felt my throat contract once again, unwillingly chuckling a deep, disgusting laugh. “Such a brave face, but you are just a fool. I am not to be toyed with.” It felt like I still had jurisdiction over my body, but I knew that Kako also had some sort of control. I started to panic.
“What’s happening?” I whisper with my own voice.
“Noemi,” Serf Seraphiel advanced, holding his arm out cautiously. “He is scared. He knows he doesn’t have control of you right now and he is trying everything in his power to make you believe he does. This is a last attempt at him taking over, because he knows this technique will work in your favor.”
My anxiety from the situation was obvious. I glanced at Cyrus, who was staring back with a worried expression. His eyes were large and his pupils were shaking in anticipation. I could see I had terrified him, and my heart broke at the realization.
“I think it’s best if you both stay away,” I murmur, voice shaking. “Someone might get hurt.” They remain steady.
Why has Serf Seraphiel pushed me this far, knowing that Kako using me directly led to my father’s death? Kako might be able to completely take over and I won’t be able to stop whatever he does.
I thought back to the moment leading up to this.
Why am I even this angry over something so trivial? Get a grip.
“Nemmi,” Cy speaks up, his voice cracking. “We aren’t going anywhere.” My panic subsides for a moment.
Suddenly, Kako’s voice cut through my thoughts. “Shut up, boy,” he snaps through me. “What are you even going to do to help? All you do is heal people. I could squash your puny body like a bug.”
Cyrus held his hands up, retreating. His fear was palpable, but so was his determination. “I’m not going anywhere,” he repeated.
The fear that subsided only moments ago came back instantly, even more forceful than before. “Why would you force me to do this, knowing what would happen?” I yell to Serf Seraphiel, trembling. His face softened.
“Because, you have to see that he can’t completely take over unless you let him. The only way for him to take control is when you let your anger, fear, or sadness take control,” he said as he stepped closer. “You must remain in power of your emotions to prevent him from having any authority over them.”
I felt helpless. Serf Seraphiel wasn’t understanding the gravity of the situation.
I’m not wise like he is, I can’t handle this fear.
“I can’t,” I began crying. “I’m trying so hard, but I can’t just not feel things! I’m so angry and scared and I don’t know why! I-”
He cut me off, “I trust you,” he said firmly. “Cyrus trusts you. The only reason anybody will ever have authority over you is if you let them. You have to fight it. This doesn’t mean it’ll be a quick end to your torture, but it means there is a possibility for it to end eventually.” I look back at Cy and see him nodding his head, affirming that he, too, trusted me to remain strong enough. “You just have to continue practicing,” Serf Seraphiel finished saying.
This is the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me. I was able to handle my father’s abuse, I was able to handle being branded– but this is …
“Fight it,” Serf Seraphiel urged gently. “Not just with your willpower, but with your mind. His anger is amplifying yours massively. You must drown him out. Remember what we practiced.”
In the midst of my turmoil, I sat down, took a sharp breath, and let my eyelids shut. Before I had a chance to try, I feel his words escape me again, “What do you know, old man? I’m a full-blooded Celestial Demon. You don’t know half as much as you think you do.”
“I know enough,” he replied. “Do it, Noemi. Drown him out with nothing. Don’t give him any thoughts or emotions to play with.”
Nothing. Think of nothingness. Absolutely, positively nothing.
“Show him what you want, Noemi!” Cyrus chimed up, his voice sounding hopeful. “You got this.”
A surge of determination replaced the fear at hearing Cy and Serf Seraphiel's positivity. If they weren’t scared, why should I be?
I visualized an invisible barrier around my positive emotions, blocking out the negative ones. It’s impenetrable. I ignored everything going on around me. With each breath in, I imagine happiness in the air passing through my lungs; and with every breath out, I imagine the frustration and fear leaving me.
In the silence that followed, Serf Seraphiel and Cyrus just watched me with bated breath. After what felt like forever, I opened my eyes, feeling a sense of peace that I hadn’t prior. The fear was still there, but it was no longer overpowering.
“You’re doing it,” Serf Seraphiel shouts happily.
Cyrus, in his excitement, shouted too. “Hell yea! Reel that coward in, Nemmi!”
His father glares at him, “Now isn’t the time to antagonize the thing, Cyrus.”
I stand up, happy at my resolve. That was so much easier than I thought! It’s finally over.
“Thank you so mu-”
I hear a low cackle vibrate in the back of my head. “Did you really think that it was that easy? You are even more of a simple-minded child than I thought. We are bonded, Noemi. I live in you. You cannot force me out.”
“Noemi?” Cyrus calls out.
“He’s still here,” I cry out to them. “He is still freaking here!”
“It’s better for you to just run away from them. After all, how could they love you when they know the threat you pose to their safety?”
No. They both love me, otherwise they wouldn’t have risked their safety yesterday to get me out here and train.
“But, wouldn’t it be so much easier on them both if we just left? We could live here in No Man’s Land. I could tell you how to do everything you need for means of survival. They would both be safe.”
“Don’t listen to whatever he is telling you right now,” Serf Seraphiel interjects. “He cannot force you to his will, remember that. You are in control.”
“I am not,” I shriek. “He’s right! I have to leave. I have to listen to him– I-” I suddenly feel a force push me back, violently.
Cyrus had run up and given me a hug.
“Nemmi,” he muttered, squeezing tightly. “You’re coming back home with us. It might not be the most free place in the world, but we made it our home– and now, it won’t be home without you.”
“But, I-”
“I don't care,” he said. “Just shut up, you’re coming home with us after this.” Letting me go, he pulled his hand up to my face and flicked my forehead.
“Oww!” I reached up to rub the impacted area.
He crossed his arms and looked down at me intently, “You don’t get to leave us there. If I have to deal with the stupid King’s guards, you have to do it with me. I’m not putting up with it on my own.”
I couldn’t express it. Yes, I was still afraid, but I knew I was going to be okay here. The air around us suddenly felt warmer and the wind calmed.
“Now, tell that stupid thing to shut his yapper every time he tries to say some weird stuff.”
“Cy is right, Noemi.” Serf Seraphiel said, pulling me into a hug as well. “Yes, you will still hear him in your head. We don’t know how to get rid of him yet– I have to be honest about that; but, this will work if you consistently practice not letting him sway you. What I can promise you is that he knows your safety is vital for his survival, so he won’t be letting you get found out so easily.”
It sounded like the last sentence of what Serf Seraphiel said was directed more at Kako. As if, he was trying to remind him where he stood in this.
My eyes widened at the realization of his wise words. My safety is vital to the demon’s survival. He lived in my body and couldn’t just escape now. Serf Seraphiel was the most brilliant man to ever walk this Earth!
He’s right. If I die, you die-Demon.
In my newly found, eleven-year-old courage at Serf Seraphiel's words, I made a pact with the devil and bargained with our lives.
So, here is the deal. You keep the people I love safe, and I keep you safe. If they die, we do too.
“Deal.”
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