“Yin Rivers.” He smiles at me.

At first, I didn’t think it was actually him. I consciously register every detail this time, with a clearer head. He’s in a human form, but no human could look so…ethereal. In fact, his appearance really resembles that of Judgement. If Judgement’s wardrobe was white, Death’s is definitely black. His hair is like ink braided in a long rope. Even wrapped around his neck twice, it reaches to his knees. Almost like an extended noose. A few shorter strands frame his face perfectly. His clothes are all black too, but he looks like he walked out of a pageant. Skin-tight pants and a fashionable long coat which mimics his previous cloaked appearance…He also surprisingly looks to be in his late twenties, which I highly doubt. And through all the black, his pale eyes still stand out, like two little pink lightbulbs in a disco.

“I didn’t think I’d see you so soon.” My voice is sore.

“Frankly speaking, neither did I.” He walks closer and pulls up a chair. Is he…wearing heeled boots?! How did he not attract attention when he walked in here?

“Last time I saw you, you were fearful of me. Now you are not. In fact,” He seats himself inches away from the bed, “You had a good long look.”

“I was just surprised.”

He smirks. “You have grown guts, Yin Rivers.” He sweeps a few strands of hair away from his eyes to return the ‘good long look’. “You look good when you are not afraid.”

I feel my face burning up for some reason. Is it because I ironically owe him my life? And he complimented me? No, no, he’s just joking along–he’s pulling my leg! “D-Don’t we all?”

“Haha, yes. Fear is an ugly makeup.”

His choice of words…well, at least our conversation flows more naturally now. It’s less stuffy. I can’t help but glance every now and then at his attire, he just looks so…I’ll have to get used to seeing him in different forms I guess. My eyes drift to his hands fiddling with one of his rings. And then I see it. The blood I coughed up, it’s on his sleeve.

I feel a strange sense of regret for having ruined his fashionable look. I attempt to prop myself up in sitting position to wipe off what I can. Without a moment of hesitation, he gets up, puts my hand back down, gently places an arm under my back and lifts me into sitting position, even going as far as to set the pillows for me. My face flushes with embarrassment. To be nursed back to life by Death himself…I feel a bit awkward, and honestly, incredibly ashamed of my position. I feel a little afraid of what is to come once I recover. Will he be angry? Will I owe him some unimaginable debt? My eyes inadvertently fall to the blemishes on his clothes. “I’m sorry about…that. I’ll…I’ll wash it when I recover.”

“No need. You were suffering. It is natural.”

“What exactly happened to me?” If anyone knows, it’s him.

“Frankly, it is a bit confusing to me as well. I am not sure how your soul left your body and how it returned. I did not collect your soul.”

If even he doesn’t know then… “Death?”

“Mn?”

“Are you a god?”

He looks at me for a second, a bit disgusted. “No. I am not. I am one of the Three Cycles.”

Three Cycles? What's that? I guess Death could technically be compared to a cycle. He essentially collects the soul and sends it to Judgement…who sends it to…

Death thinks for a bit. I can see the cogs turning in his head. Having come to some conclusion, he speaks, “Yin Rivers, perhaps you encountered another one of us?”

I look at him, unsurprised. He can hear everything I think about anyway.

He nods, as if he heard that too. I sigh. “Before I woke up in Sika’s house, I think I met Judgement. She’s a part of your ‘Three Cycles’?”

Death nods and looks at my eyes for a long minute. I start to get a little nervous. Did I do something wrong? Did I cause something bad to happen because I wasn’t supposed to be there?

“…What did she say?”

“She said that you did not send her my record so I was not dead yet?”

“That is correct. That is the information I also knew of.” He sighs and crosses his legs, resting his chin in one hand. He looks surprisingly elegant compared to when I last saw him.

“I have a vague understanding of what happened to you, Yin Rivers. You performed a ritual–incorrect–your friend performed a ritual, you summoned a ‘God’, who provided your friend with a list of lives. Then he stripped your body of your soul and you were forcibly inserted into a different body against your will. Is that correct?”

I nod.

His voice suddenly changes, “And then, you proceeded to die to escape that life, correct?”

The heart rate monitor beeps faster. “Y-Yes Sir!”

“Without contacting me first?”

And how the hell was I supposed to know I could do that? The whole day, I’ve been dumped in the very situations which other people call me crazy for. I didn’t wish to be transmigrated! I didn’t even wish to meet Death! And now you ask me why I didn’t tell you I got fucking stripped of my body and shoved into another life? “So much for your blessing. I didn’t want to kill myself! Not like I want to die! I just wanted to…to…I didn’t even want any of this to happen!” My voice becomes a bit hysterical, “Why can I see you, why was I dragged into all this…I didn’t wish for any of this!”

“Yin Rivers, calm yourself. Anger is not something you want to show me.”

“Hypocrite.”

I instantly shut my mouth. I’m embarrassed. Uneasy. My heart is beating dangerously fast. Why can you get angry at me and not the other way around, huh?

“I am not angry anymore Yin Rivers.” He glances away sheepishly before looking back. “There is no escape for what you are facing, Yin Rivers. If you ask me why, there is no definite answer. But you have met Judgement, and she likes to use the word ‘Fate’ to describe circumstance and inevitability.”

“…So when she said my Fate wasn’t in my hands, she meant that I genuinely had nothing to do with what happened?”

“Frankly speaking, it is impossible to determine the full meaning behind her words for a mere mortal like you. When one speaks from unimaginable experience, you cannot hope to grasp it in that moment. Give it time, however, and it will come to light.”

“…Okay.” What else is there to say? It seems I have no choice in my own life or my own…so-called ‘Fate’.

“Listen here,” He brings his chair closer and leans in. The coldness of his physical body lingers near me. I am scared of what he will do since I pissed him off earlier, but to my surprise he takes my hand in his and blows a cold breath through my fingers. I feel a revitalising energy flow through my body. The stiffness of my body and the anger I was feeling subsides. “I…didn’t know you could do that.”

“I can do a great many things.” His hand doesn’t let go. “Listen here, I need you to know this. I know you did not wish for it, but my blessing allows you to be safe from other entities that may try to steal your vitality–your soul. Yin Rivers, although you do not want to, you can see the dead and can commune with them. This is something you may have possessed since birth. It is the composition of your being. It is a dangerous ability because your soul,” His eyes drift above my head and slowly back down to my chest, “Well frankly, your soul is floating out of your body like a giant red balloon.”

A balloon? That’s ridiculous.

“It was the first thing I noticed about you, and it is the first thing every entity, blackened soul, ghost, animal, and god will notice.”

“…Is it that bad?”

“Frankly, yes.” His eyes look back into my own, I can hear the monitor beeping faster again.

“Because you look delicious.”

I…! His voice, his gaze, and the way he’s looking at me…it sends shivers down my spine. First, he says I’m a balloon, then he says I’m delicious. Wh–What am I, a fucking lollipop? It’s even more embarrassing because Death can see through everything I feel. He has a smug expression on his face. “Delicious.” He resounds.

I glare at him and yank my hand away. “Well y-you look–you…you look…” I can’t come up with anything snarky. He looks good. He looks handsome. And he looks smug. And I’m jealous of his clothes. I’m jealous damn it!

He clears his throat and meddles with his cufflinks, “One more important thing you must know of…Little Balloon.”

“You–!”

“The life you just lived–the record is different from what you did.” He takes out his phone and reads from it. “’Robert Thomson, 27, deceased. Cause of death: anaphylactic seizure’ This is from his record when I collected his soul. He was going to die regardless of what you did. That was what his record told me.”

“But how? I was–he was 18, and I…I was him and I shared his memory and I almost forgot who I was in the process, and Judgement said that she just got his record–”

“Which is why I am unable to pinpoint how this happened. I clearly recollect reaping his soul when he was 27. His vessel had to have been occupied at the time he was 18. How were you able to occupy it then if it was not empty? And why did I learn of your ‘death’ from Judgement and not myself?” He looks at his phone with a twinge of annoyance before meeting my eyes again. “Frankly, it should not be possible for a living soul to enter a living vessel that is not their own–lest they are already dead. It would work if the souls exchanged places, but not like this. Not unless there has been some…fiddling.”

I don’t get it. I felt alive when I was in his body. It really felt like it was my life. Until I realised it wasn’t.

“You existed in a time and a body which wasn’t yours.” Death’s eyes faintly wander into the distance before returning, “You may not believe it, but your love for your mother is what may have saved you, Yin Rivers. Remember your love well.”

I don’t think I can forget it. But if mum knew that I killed myself to see her again, she’d never forgive me. I’ll probably never tell her about this. I don’t want her to get involved. Never.

There is still something that hasn’t been answered yet. “There’s another thing that bothers me.”